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YGIFS

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Everything posted by YGIFS

  1. Her-odd number of toes? And I don't mean 5. You're a scientist, IIRC. There has to be a connection between her physical appearance and utter and total lack of intellect or reason?
  2. Okay, shit. I got 89 minutes to submit the message to be printed and placed in the gift box. We gotta tie Guilfoyle's denial of this into it somehow. QuicK!
  3. Counter-protestors? It was 6 guys from Brentwood with a case of Smirnoff Ice.
  4. first off-they are still pissed Zelensky didn't turn over the intel Trump demanded from him during his first of many perfect phone calls. Then they still associate just the word "Ukraine" with his first impeachment trial, which is when his true colors starting being revealed. They think Hunter Biden and Ukraine are in cahoots to embarrass the Trump family. They have no real issue with Ukraine as a people and would likely be mortified to watch/read actual reporting from the frontlines of human right's abuses and war crimes committed by the Russian military, but Trump says Zelensky bad and Putin "strong genius." So they have to toe that line. Now, could there be more transparently robust tracking of our aide to Ukraine? Of course. But they wouldn't know what that would look like if an ATACMS shot the report up their ass. Trump holds a grudge against Zelensky and is too deep on the record of idolizing Putin. And he's not one to do an about face, so they're effectively just following orders from their Orange Messiah. That's all it is. They have no concept of the geopolitical grudge of the lines in that theater. No sense of geopolitical history there. Zelensky makes Trump uncomfortable, brings back bad memories, and to turn their opinions on Putin in reverse would just as bad as admitting they've been conned by Trump himself. Stupid people don't like to admit they are wrong and onboard new information. That's why they're stupid. Nobody is really born stupid, with a few rare cognitive birth defects. You have to be raised and groomed to shut out new information, despise critical thinking, and parrot bullshit ideologies. It's how bad men raise armies.
  5. A bigger deal in the SEC than Texas A&M? NO WAY! Uh, Way!
  6. Yeah, to repeat myself repeating myself. Their approach is bordering on moronic, but if they peacefully stir shit up---I'm all for it. But that Uvalde thing is.........chef's kiss. Some poor student is gonna lose a hemisphere of their brain over it by next week from a half dozen batons, but kudos on the originality of the taunt.
  7. What is that 4 cylinder fucking failure Donatello J., an IWOP-Z? That's some low-T bullshit, you need to get the Z28 package. Seriously, it's 28 kilos of Z-grade coke for Junior. You can step on it 4, 8, 12 times...it'll still kick.
  8. What fucking publication is that from? You'd appreciate this Armybrat being from the bronze age csb/ years ago, when hyper-sensitivity was sweeping through campus...I innocuously said a few times in a lecture "you guys should know this" or "you guys should read up that." And a student told me that "you guys" is an offensive term because it's gender exclusive. I apologized and explained it's a term that I grew up with in Chicago and that my mother uses it to this day. She said "that's no excuse, people from other generations use offensive terms and that doesn't make it okay." So I tried to cool the tension and said, "May I just refer to you all as Ustedes instead?" She said it's wrong of me to culturally appropriate other languages to deflect from the issue at hand. So in Spanish, I told her to take a look at this expedited entry card I have on me issued to me by the Mexican Consulate/SRE and that my mother is from Mexico and my first language is Spanish...don't let my name fool you. We were both being assholes, to be honest. And I think I was really hungover IIRC (8:00a section). but eventually everybody had a laugh at something I said to defuse and we had a great set of presentations. Don't get me wrong, some adjunct lecturer walks in with a double bourbon and a cigar and says, "Any of you broads or skirts know how to do math?" I want my daughter to kick him in the nuts and report him to the Dean. But a period at the end of a text or a handy catch-all term for the students? Come the fuck on. It's way less condescending than addressing them with my hands clutched like, "Now class, what is the difference between recourse debt and non-recourse debt?" I'm not some 1880's schoolmarm. /csb
  9. E-List, twicehorn? You know damn well neither Scott Baio nor Kirk Cameron would ever agree to such a salacious project!
  10. I haven't seen that yet. Like an even more annoying Wal-Mart greeter? Wow. I guess it's a conditioning exercise to get you used to doing shit outside/online/mobile. The people at those desks aren't doing anything. Nobody just rolls in on a whim to rollover an IRA, that's not a thing. Gotta be awkward for those employees to watch a fellow co-worker purposely encouraging customers to leave to they have less and less justification to exist. "Welcome in sir, thank you for your new business. We always like to ask what made you switch banks so that we may better serve you?" tbone, "I stabbed the greeter at my last bank in the kidney. Also your CD rates look more competitive." "Okay, we'll that's a capital crime since it was an FDIC institution. But we can let that slide because we're running a promotion right now on really exciting home improvement loans."
  11. "Horny Jail", man? Is that like some kinda B-movie riff on "Caged Heat"? I need some production value in my porn by pompous Nolan brothers won't return my calls. Thanks a lot, Nikki Benz!
  12. And the two men holding that painting names are? You guessed it. The Fat & the Facetious, Pt. XLV (also trump's diaper size)
  13. Thanks for planting the idea that Little Ralphie and Older Ralphie monitor one another's porn viewing online. ASSHOLE!
  14. There's a 'Triple Lindy' joke in here somewhere from Rodney on the other side...
  15. Is there like a parallel simulation where they do drive him and park in the last row of the lot at the Capitol and he says something like, "This way when everybody's fighting to get out, we'll be the first to leave. Plus, we're the first ones here Russ, first ones here. And then he starts trying to jog to the gates like Chevy in "Vacation" but after 3 steps, he just drops to the pavement? Is that a script idea? Is this anything? He's so full of shit. First off, he'd never ask to go down there, he wanted the circus plus he knew it could get weird. And the primary directive of Secret Service is you cannot defy an order by the President even if it means harm to yourself...but you can absolutely deny him a request/order if there is reasonable belief it could harm POTUS. As Pacino said in Glengarry Glen Ross, "You'd know if you ever spent a day in your life. You never open up your mouth until you know what the play is."
  16. Shit, my apologies Rex....I was given bad intel that it was you. But I'll reiterate this to Frank/Sack........this kinda pedantic shit is sophomoric, even for you. Just post this kinda insulting language under your regular handle. I think you were trying to be cute and use my old handle to try and eventually pass it off as me when you got enough shit for it. But c'mon man. You know my sense of humor, I really don't think anything is off limits so long as we don't publicly out people's real identities. But creating that handle just to throw "cunt" around so you could blame it on me down the road. That's beyond juvenile. Let me guess, your closing argument would have been, "What? Whuh? Well, well......Lobo started it!"
  17. Yeah, that's not the flex it appears to be. A billionaire giving $10k to a fraternity comprised mostly of underage kids to buy alcohol and drugs, with some likely ensuing crimes and sexual assault. Not a great look. You wanna slip a kid $100 to take a girl out to dinner, that's one thing. Funding 100 U21 drunken morons to buy coke and molly because they moved some flags around? Uh................
  18. Ooof ma-goof, look at the Mug-a on that broad. Yowza. seriously MTG? I get the worry about anti-semitism on campuses right now. It's a valid concern. But that it could be used against Christians who still blame the Jews and Herod? That's a bit of a stretch even for you. Where do you get this shit, seriously? None of the think tanks are feeding this to you. You don't formally belong to any particular church. Your staffers are fucking insane, but even they couldn't concoct this press release. Where do you get this shit, seriously?
  19. something addressed from south Dakota. I didn't think of that, but that's a great idea. So long as it's something familiar but too familiar where they think "That's strange, deliveries from the Chamber/this org./that org. are always abbreviated differently. But yeah, that could right well work. I can't type any curse words in the auto-fill box. 200 characters, and it bounces back anything with profanity. Which is weird because dogs can't read.
  20. Okay, my first BarkBox can ship out by end of week. For Cricket. I have a senior staffer mailing address handy, but they offer anonymous shipping like if you want to surprise a friend or family member with doggie goodies. But I'm guessing they won't open it if it comes unlabeled. BarkBox has my CC# and zip code and name. So if her office calls in a fit of rage, there's nothing wrong. A guy sent some biscuits and toys for puppies, oops. Don't like it? Fine, let a low-paid staffer with a dog at home have 'em. But they're gonna keep coming on the 1st of the month for a year. But two questions: 1. If the "From" portion of the box is left blank, they're not gonna open it. And the whole joke is lost. So what do I put? They said I could pay for it and order the items and put it from another party. I'm assuming they have customers that order something for an elderly dog lover and then put down like a grandkid or friend who can't do online orders to make it look like the treats were from them. And no, I couldn't find Michael Vicks mailing address. 2. Any ideas for the note? I originally had "To Cricket. Thank you for your sacrifice, Love-America." I have until tonight to personalize it. Any other thoughts?
  21. I've been in some stretches of road in the deep South where you saw Waffle Houses so close to one another, it was like Mattress Firm opened up a chain of breakfast joints. Where is that Austin Waffle House less 6 miles from the stadium? The one off 290 East, I guess? Before it was there, after a night game, we went to the Denny's caddie-corner from there and saw Blake Gideon. And he was pissed.
  22. The album drop party for Vampire Weekend got out of fucking hand, man. I don't get this? Cal Tech is tiny. UT has 1% of the students protesting, which is a lot in the aggregate, but Cal Tech has 1% of their student body protest, that's 20 kids. That's not even worth driving the news van over for. I'm sure Scripps College, while a seriously great college, has a few folks who want to lash out and protest. That whole school is like 300 people. That's not enough students for somebody to borrow a car to go buy posterboard at Michael's. I guess your implication is that this only happens at colleges with lots of liberal arts majors, or? Despite UT having a very strong engineering, business, and sciences CSU's---which make up a substantial proportion of the protestors. Believe it or not, they're not all Art History majors out there (though we still need to unpack who all these non-faculty/non-student folks on our campus are stirring up shit). But to your point---significantly attended protests are happening at UCLA, Cal Polytechnical, Tulane, Florida State, Wisconsin, VA Tech, Georgia, Washington U., Indiana U., Utah, UCONN, VCU, Texas, UofFlorida, Illinois, Emory, Ohio State, Princeton, Minnesota, and Yale. Not exactly Sarah Lawrence College liberal elitist humanities degree factories. Higher-end, well-rounded universities with lots of majors represented, diverse campus populations, many near population centers off campus, most publics, and politically across the spectrum. And it's happening in states where the local and statewide leadership is embarrassed and trying to flex/posture.
  23. Lashing out because you didnt' your way on that bill to allow Senators to go through separate entrances at commercial airports because you're still butt-hurt about being photographed with the common people sneaking off to Cancun during the Big Freeze? And now you're taking it out on your constituency because of your snowflake feelings. This is why your family hates you, you take our lack of self-confidence on the most vulnerable people in your lives and worst part is, you seem to enjoy it or at least get fulfillment out of it. I know we make jokes about your face, and your smarminess, Heidi's fellatio habits, and all that. And you're an intelligent guy. But deep down inside...you're just mean Ted. And not the "I'm better than the average folks I represent!" kinda mean, Ted. You enjoy it, it fills some void in your soul that can never be filled no matter how much cruelty you visit upon family and fellow citizens alike. I don't know what happened to you in the mid-2010's........but something did. And you should seek some counseling, sir. After you out and suck Trump's dick publicly. Get that outta the way, and then talk to somebody, Ted. Your daughters deserve better.
  24. Damn, I was way more fucked up/high than I thought biking to shows there then. But the record store was across the street and slightly south of it, right? I remember seeing Bobby Bland there when I first moved to Austin and thinking it was the coolest place. It reminded me of sneaking out of the house in chicago as a mid-teen to go see shows at Buddy's Guy's Legends. I knew enough from family from Texas about Willie, and country, and some other good music. But I had no idea about the Austin blues scene and saw that show at Antone's. back to the thread topic. Trump's coalition of "Black Blues Musicians for Trump" is not coming together as they'd hoped. Sad. Very sad. Tremendously sad.
  25. Maybe get 'em some grief counselors to deal with their emotions? I like it, beanbag chairs made from their riot artillery? Some protestor really wants to go viral? I'm not inciting violence here, but put down the flags and the message banners and simply hold up up a posterboard that says, "Pretend we're all in 3rd grade and stand down!" It'd be ironic given the childish nature of the protests, and you'll probably be beaten to death, but I guarantee your sign and your face will make national news and a biopic from Michael Moore.
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