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YGIFS

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Everything posted by YGIFS

  1. How ya' feeling, Norm.? "Surly, Sammy. Surly. It's a dog-eat-dog message board in here and I'm wearing milkbone underwear." Dammit, I had something for this.
  2. In high school, we were at a church youth retreat. And one of the speakers was warning us of the sinful temptation of drugs. And we were all high as fuck, having smoked out in the woods earlier. And then she moves on to the dangers of pornography. Mind you, this was when it was just playboy and scrambled cable soft-core. And I'll never forget, she said something to the effect of, "They're not even real women in those magazines. Not god's creation, it's all edited airbrushing!" And Andy W. next to me, higher than a fucking kite, mumbles, "Yeah um, my boner doesn't even know what airbrushing is..." Maybe one of the 5 funniest moments in my life /csb
  3. Is it some combination of they were only 10 when all this shit started with Trump? None of us, and we're all quite politically engaged, knew jack shit about politics and current events at that age. I remember watching some Reagan stuff in 1984 on TV, and then had to do a social studies presentation about Bush/Dukakis in Mr. Hays' class in 1988 at 12. But that's about it. Started paying attention my Junior year of high school. And then on from there. But I guess many of them were just young when Trump and his minions came out of the woodwork, and they're now trying to see who can prove their "No I have the biggest beef with Biden over Israel/Palestine, not you! Me!" I realize they're not all being like this. But you mix that "I don't really remember this Trump fellow you speak of", with "Biden is too pro-Israel!" with their already apathetic turnout to begin with (not just this current batch, but all 18-30 voters over the last century)..............you don't need anything else mixed into that cocktail to fuck up turnout for Joe in Wisconsin (where protests are rampant), Michigan (they're starting here shortly), or North Carolina (already underway), et. al. If I didn't have two young girls who have to grow up under this shit, I'd say "Let 'em burn." But I gotta keep hurting bad guys. I can bug out to a half dozen countries and still do my profession, same with my wife. these kids will be fucking their lives up for a half century. Same with women for Trump, Muslims against Biden, People of Color for Trump. When you're rights come crumbling down, I'll be there with a hearty reminder. Play 2024 smart. Either maintain the Senate or win back the House if Class I goes as it probably will. 2026 Class II aligns for you pretty well. And then setup a new generation of POTUS in 2028. That SCOTUS isn't going anywhere soon. Wait for 2032 election cycle with more favorably drawn districts and demography and hopefully both parties move back closer to center and sanity. These kids will be around 30 by then and starting families and getting into mid-career mode and starting businesses and putting down roots. But that work begins in 6 months. They wanna blow that all up over Biden sometimes saying some stuff they're not 100% infatuated with? Then good luck on the train to oblivion dipshits.
  4. I hope the they have that same youthful vigor when the new administration is having them forcefully removed from our shores. Take your anti-Israel, anti-Biden stances now young people. And don’t bother voting this Autumn. This world will scarcely remember your bold stance, or that you even ever existed at all.
  5. Thank you for calling Lindell Linen Legal Law, LLC. How can I help you? "Have you ever presented a Case before the Supreme Court?" Well, we presented our Supreme PillowCase line of products before the Court Crescent Hotel chain. Is that anything? "I have the worst fucking attorneys."
  6. Yeah, not that I'm noble for taking a stand while searching for '69 cumshot compliation', but for some reason those deepfake clips that you see off to the side with celebrities faces on pornstar bodies...it just feels wrong and is a boner killer. I know the whole industry is a fucking shitshow, but that just seems a bridge too far even for them. Having said that, that AOC/Boebert photo looks intriguing. I am willing to give it a shot.
  7. I have noticed over the years a high number of not quite evil, but villain adjacent characters in shows and movies who will have a discussion with a primary character (good, bad, or indifferent) at some sort of lowly restaurant/diner/coffee shop/etc. And their veiled threat will come just as they are reaching for a tissue paper-thin napkin from one those old school vertical metallic dispensers as they dispense with their commentary. And barely wipe their mouth before making their exit. I never realized what a ubiquitous trope it was/is. Also, we need to celebrate libraries more for recycling all the batteries from all my kids' shit toys that run through them like Mike Lindell runs through 8-balls.
  8. Steinmart is still open. Montgomery Ward is too old school/upscale. You're right, should be Mervyn's. Because they went financially under in 2021, right when Trump did. I like it, let's get shirts made up for it and sell 'em at Foley's.
  9. Uh Mike, these Democrats you know that like your personality. Do they totally go to a different voting location over Spring Break near Niagara Falls? Are they super hot and into pillows?
  10. Thanks for sharing UpperWestside. We just marked the 19th anniversary of my father's passing not that long ago. And I was in a pretty bad rut last month (related to another forum thread), not really about my father's death. I mean you have days where you focus on that kinda thing-we're all human. This was about some other shit. And our relationship, or lack thereof, was quite similar to what you poignantly described in your post. To your point about parenting---and this will be a ramble as Lobo is wont to do. His parents couldn't make the trip to the funeral because it would have killed them to see their son's corpse at almost 90 after a 10 hour trip. His brother gave some remarks and it fell to me to give the eulogy. And I began with "I'm sure you all know my father's gift for the spoken word (like me, he did not speak much in public---but when he did it was commanding), and I'd like to think that I inherited part of that talent. And I assure you that talent will fail me today. And the line landed well. And then I just became a blubbering mess. I don't even remember what the fuck I said. Something about keep his parents in your prayers, go with god, cry, cry, cry, tissue, tissue, tissue. But for some reason, and I never knew why...at the end...despite only having gotten engaged that year...and children not even a sparkle in my eye......I said, "His final lesson to me is 'be a good father, be a good father.' And people, even his sister, looked at me confused. And I was sure as shit confused. My now wife was confused. And I said thank you and we prayed and yada yada yada. I didn't think about the eulogy for over a decade after that. And for some reason last month, to your points, during a really tough rut...I remembered not remembering, if that makes sense, the words I randomly spoke to take the edge off my blubbering. and that meme above your post confirms it........get out of this pit and be a good father. At worst, don't let your children find a dead body in their house. At best, live a full life and be a good father. Maybe even get to put the 'fun' back in 'funeral'
  11. Don't have much to add other than really excited. This show has the right amount of feels with brutal humor. I can't wait to show my oldest this series in a few more years. she's got great comedic instincts. But weekly, repeats stuff "the boys said on that playground..." And I have to explain to her than 90% of people think they're funny and they're not. But this show, and Tina Fey, and Maya Rudolph, and Poehler, and Jane Curtain, and Iliza, and Gilda, and Tig, and Peretti, and so many others, and plenty of male comics too. Laughter is the best when it slices into your heart but then heals it back up again and sends you off to school. The best comedy makes you think long and hard or makes you cry long and hard. The laughter part is just a side effect if the drug.
  12. Peterson obviously takes some digital liberties in his posts. But it's not that far fetched that a strung-out, nearly bankrupted and publicly shamed, fat 62yo who smoked crack for 35 years, who has been up straight for TWO WEEKS! might look like a used diaper soaked in squirrel fur and Indian food.
  13. Yes, I opted for the plan where you can add a note. I said it was for a senile older person I knew that would appreciate an uplifting message with the barkbox each month. I just picked the plan where they send "surprise" stuff each month, probably old product they're trying to push out the warehouse. I dunno. I'm not gonna take the time to pick out the stuff, but I just want to write a non-threatening, but emotionally scarring note each month so I'm gonna need some more ideas down the road. I know it's petty, but it really wasn't that pricey. It fucks with people in her office. And worst case--some low level staffer who just wanted to innocently get into public service who has a cute puppy at home and barely make ends meet on her intern salary...she gets a few treats and a toy for her little furry fella. And Noem quietly goes insane over her life choices. It was either this, or she'd receive a piece of gravel with a paw print in red paint every month. But I realized how that could be misinterpreted as a threat. Again, these delicious treats and fun toys get to a good boy. Who's a good boy? Who?
  14. Well, somebody had to write the prequel to Stephen King's "Pet Cemetery" where Cricket comes back from the pit to exact revenge. I mean, she did live near, and bury him, near ancient Indian burial grounds. Message in the BarkBox was "Gov. Noem. I didn't particularly care your version of 'fetch.' -Love, Cricket"
  15. And this is what you're doing with your online time since Texas shutdown pornhub? Typing in "Bearded Ham" instead of "Bearded Clam"....Sickie.
  16. They do, but the coordination keeps getting lost in the shuffle because of everybody going to the "I'd Pee in Her Butt in the Sex Tent" forum. Damn degenerates.
  17. I often think of that scene in the series finale of "Chernobyl" when KBG Director Chebrikov is debriefing Legasov. "When the bullet hits your skull, what will it matter why?" When their family members not born on U.S. soil begin being deported, or their student visas expire and they are expunged from the United States, and Islamic rights are slowly eroded away by Stephen Miller and his cartel......will they wonder 'why' or 'how could this be happening'? Life is full of choices and opinions and positions. Until your skull is bleeding and incapable of rationalizing your choice. Have at it young people. Because you're really not going to like what happens next.
  18. LloydBridges/ "dammit man, don't tell me I fell. I slipped on a crab. There was two of 'em, they work in pairs."
  19. LAPD & CHP? My god, when John and Ponch turn on the young people...we are truly lost as a nation.
  20. Her-odd number of toes? And I don't mean 5. You're a scientist, IIRC. There has to be a connection between her physical appearance and utter and total lack of intellect or reason?
  21. Okay, shit. I got 89 minutes to submit the message to be printed and placed in the gift box. We gotta tie Guilfoyle's denial of this into it somehow. QuicK!
  22. Counter-protestors? It was 6 guys from Brentwood with a case of Smirnoff Ice.
  23. first off-they are still pissed Zelensky didn't turn over the intel Trump demanded from him during his first of many perfect phone calls. Then they still associate just the word "Ukraine" with his first impeachment trial, which is when his true colors starting being revealed. They think Hunter Biden and Ukraine are in cahoots to embarrass the Trump family. They have no real issue with Ukraine as a people and would likely be mortified to watch/read actual reporting from the frontlines of human right's abuses and war crimes committed by the Russian military, but Trump says Zelensky bad and Putin "strong genius." So they have to toe that line. Now, could there be more transparently robust tracking of our aide to Ukraine? Of course. But they wouldn't know what that would look like if an ATACMS shot the report up their ass. Trump holds a grudge against Zelensky and is too deep on the record of idolizing Putin. And he's not one to do an about face, so they're effectively just following orders from their Orange Messiah. That's all it is. They have no concept of the geopolitical grudge of the lines in that theater. No sense of geopolitical history there. Zelensky makes Trump uncomfortable, brings back bad memories, and to turn their opinions on Putin in reverse would just as bad as admitting they've been conned by Trump himself. Stupid people don't like to admit they are wrong and onboard new information. That's why they're stupid. Nobody is really born stupid, with a few rare cognitive birth defects. You have to be raised and groomed to shut out new information, despise critical thinking, and parrot bullshit ideologies. It's how bad men raise armies.
  24. A bigger deal in the SEC than Texas A&M? NO WAY! Uh, Way!
  25. Yeah, to repeat myself repeating myself. Their approach is bordering on moronic, but if they peacefully stir shit up---I'm all for it. But that Uvalde thing is.........chef's kiss. Some poor student is gonna lose a hemisphere of their brain over it by next week from a half dozen batons, but kudos on the originality of the taunt.
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