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hpslugga

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Everything posted by hpslugga

  1. Let me put it to you this way. Lauren Boebert is driving 65 mph westbound. MGT is driving in reverse 35 mph eastbound because she thinks the “D” on the gearshift means “devil.” They crash into each other. Boebert is ejected from the car because seatbelts are a form of government tyranny that need to be defunded. She’s ejected and literally goes into MGT’s car and her head bashes into MGT’s head. Their heads both explode and their brains fuse together. Given the respective rates of velocity and the fact that they were traveling in opposing directions on a level surface with a relatively calm crosswind, I think it must be stated that it’d be impossible to tell the difference between that and whatever poor Herschel has going on up there.
  2. Especially when you consider that he’s Exhibit A of a white, southern, racist male’s stereotypical perception of a black man. ”I can’t be racist because I voted for a black man!” Yeah, the one black man everyone should have voted against. It’s just proof positive that the GQP and their voters are all about party over country. Seriously, they can’t even argue about that anymore. The only reason they’d ever consider voting for poor Herschel is precisely, exactly, and only because Herschel is a Trump boot licker from way back.
  3. Seriously, poor Herschel is that pro wrestler who always needed a manager because he couldn’t cut a promo…and Ted Cruz wants everyone to see a Dwayne Johnson or a Ric Flair in that empty head of his.
  4. It’s nominally for both, but in reality it most certainly is meant to condone abortion. For what reason would a man living in the those times have to suspect one of his wives had been unfaithful? She wouldn’t have an iPhone that contained some incriminating text messages to some other dude. In fact women back then were by and large illiterate, so a written correspondence in any form wouldn’t be in the cards. It’s not like he’s gonna catch her talking on the phone to this guy, either. See, here’s another dirty secret about the Bible, both OT and NT: contrary to what American evangelicals prefer to make believe, the Bible does not say that marriage is “one man and one woman.” It does not say that. In fact there’s no clear definition (i.e. one passage or multiple passages saying the same thing) of what qualifies as a marriage. If you read it, and by that I mean all of it and not just the flowery passages your pastor carefully selected for recommendation to you, what you’ll come away with is this: the implied, consensus biblical definition of marriage is one man and however many women that man can afford to keep in his house. Since that’s the case, here’s why one of a man’s wives would be subjected to this nasty bit of insanity that’s found in Numbers 5: Men traveled with other men for hunting quite a bit and they would be gone for long stretches. If one of them returned home and one of his wives, that he didn’t favor as much as the others, turned up looking like she was pregnant when she should not be, THAT was the hint that led him to believe she had cheated on him. It wasn’t based on “intuition” or “instinct,” or even paranoia. The fucking girl is pregnant, and he knows it’s not by him. Yeah Numbers 5 and its test of the unfaithful wife does list the possibilities of what happens when a woman drinks that nasty ass water, but we all know where it’s leading. It’s leading to a nightmarish conclusion. So by now, if you’re honest, you might be asking “so if he already knows, why take her to the priest to find out what he already knows?” The answer is simple. No man wants one of his wives carrying around some other dude’s bastard, especially when the deed was done while she was already married. And that’s really the point; that men in those times had as much respect for a woman’s choice as American conservatives do today. Fortunately for all of us, there’s as much reason to believe that dusty water could actually serve as a magic potion that induced abortions as there is to believe in that ridiculous book in general. and it’s about time to remind our wonderful readers that America is not a Christian theocracy and it would be a ludicrous waste of time defending one’s political views on the basis of what’s found in the Bible. But however ludicrous it is, it’s that much more ludicrous to defend one’s political views on the basis of what’s imagined to be found in the Bible. To me, that’s like basing speed limits on the idea that reaching 88 mph will cause the car to disappear and reanimate at a different point in time.
  5. Why is it that when Christian pro-birth anti-choice whackjobs weigh in on this topic, they always expose themselves as knowing less about their own side of the argument than we know about both sides? It says that it will make “your thigh rot” because according to Jewish law, from the 41st day of gestation until the day of delivery, what’s growing inside the woman is considered exactly what that implies: an extension of the woman’s body; most commonly referred to as a “thigh.” That’s precisely why other translations read “the womb will discharge.” It’s funny that you said “you’re not Christian” because even the most fundamentalist nutbag Christian would know Numbers is an Old Testament book, which means Jews know this shit. And judging by your asinine response, they’d know it a hell of a lot better than you do.
  6. Dude we know. The only behavioral problem that’s transparent about you is this: You do not use the goddamned “ignore” feature nearly as often as you should.
  7. Natural consequence of unshakably believing the real world functions in the way it’s described in a high school civics class.
  8. At this point, taking that job is like being the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys. It’s a desperate state of existence with no hope for success because the guy who pays your salary will constantly undermine you with his delusions of grandeur and goofy-assed bullshit.
  9. Only if there are no new developments that week in the Georgia case…or the New York case…or the Florida case
  10. Right it’s my understanding that the next season of Game of Insurrections is supposed to air sometime next month and I’d imagine they could squeeze the third and final installment prior to the swear in date. If they wanted to be as petty and vindictive as their lunatic partners in that Animal House known as the Trump faction of the GOP, they should announce the issuance of their final report on January 3rd mere minutes before the term(s) of Kinzinger and possibly Cheney expire.
  11. This. Exactly this. When your defense of the position “nothing will happen” revolves entirely around “he isn’t in prison already, so it’ll never happen,” you really don’t have any real permission to argue that this isn’t about impatience.
  12. No, you’ll be dead in an hour if any drinking game is based on Herschel Walker saying something grotesquely stupid.
  13. Uh, what do they connect to, Dave? ”God” Whose God? ”The God of the Bible” The same God of the Bible that says a baby isn’t alive until it’s taken its first breath? ”uuuhhh” The same God that says until that moment, it’s literally a part of the woman’s body? ”wtf???”
  14. I would ask him a series of questions where I know he’s going to assert the fifth, then immediately say “theguiltymansaysfifth?” a la
  15. Shit even Mark Fuhrman answered a question when he was recalled. I mean the question was “is it your intention to assert your fifth amendment privilege with regards to any question I may ask you?” But still, he answered it.
  16. They were great at putting huge scores on bad teams.
  17. 1982 Penn State Yeah I get that Texas fans hate SMU and certainly have no sympathy for the Express teams, but here’s the deal: Penn State got fucking whacked by an 8-4 Alabama 42-21 in the middle of the year. SMU then decides to opt for a tie against Arkansas because it gave them the outright conference title (Texas wins the SWC if Arkansas wins that game), and yet they were punished for that in the polls the following week as PSU jumped over them? Nah fuck all that. Not at all saying that was worse than some of the aforementioned in the thread, but they belong in the conversation.
  18. Only if it’s being orchestrated by Jimmy. Fuck Jerry
  19. I’m gonna demonstrate how stupid we’ve gotten as a society. Snob! Socialist! Beta Socialist! Oh goddamn there they go with them “roads” again! Commie! Go move to France, faggot Devil worshipper! Tree hugger We have that already! Theres no racism here. No nepotism. This is a meritocracy! He’s trying to steal elections! Tax-and-spend democrats! This is the one you’ll get little to no resistance on, yet this is the one Republican political candidates believe most in, and there are so many who both 1) do not agree with the idea of corporate personhood and 2) cannot wait to vote for candidates who do. Well ya have book learnin’ but no common sense.
  20. Doesn’t everyone know that the Silk Road has very long bridges…made from silk?
  21. He probably will file, but will subsequently withdraw just like he did with Bill Maher.
  22. I literally know people who insist that “freedom of religion” as read in the first amendment is supposed to be interpreted to mean “freedom to choose between denominations of Christianity.” They won’t say it out loud, but whenever they say “freedom of choice,” that’s supposed to mean “freedom to choose between the choices I give you.”
  23. Dude, they believe in bullshit and they need to constantly validate that belief so as to not shake their fragile “confidence” in it. Every fallacy that can be used to justify this behavior has been used, and every argument that has been used to justify this behavior is fallacious. The biggest ones they use are false equivalence and projection wherein they make believe that they’re the victims of persecution. They pretend “evolutionism is being forced down our throats against our will,” “prayer in school is illegal,” “conservative political thought isn’t allowed,” etc…all while simultaneously trying to force “intelligent design” into biology courses, reintroducing the nation to compulsory prayer in public schools, and passing all sorts of laws banning the teaching of so-called “critical race theory.”
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