So, I took one for the team and actually read that stupid AF article on Sydney Sweeney's tits. For all of you, and for science. And it's as fucking dumb as you'd imagine. Also, you're all welcome because it's one of the better distractions, you cheese punning fucks.
Fun Fact, I actually learned this next small bit of preamble during a class at UT. Generally speaking, one common facet of the female attractiveness is the ratio of a woman's different attributes. Chest to Waist, Wasit to Hip, Body Shape, etc. It's called the Golden Ratio, and it's math. It's like 1.6 or something. In class the data shared was that playboy playmate measurements were compared over the last 75 years or some such, and while the weight, shape, and measurements always changed over time, the ratio basically was a constant through the decades.
Why is that important in regards to Sydney Sweeney's amazing, amazing tits?
Because outside of the obvious, that stupid fucking article citied literally aggregate measurements from the lingerie industry that said that the average female breast size is 34 or 36DD. That's right, the gold standard we all grew up with for MASSIVE HOLY SHIT TITS is apparently the national average. How can that be? Because included in that statistic was every fucking disgusting fatbody that most of America deems completely unfuckable, to the point of being invisible except to give me passing feelings of disgust at pretty much every public space I occupy. From my 600 lb life, to just the morbidly obese, to the people who shop at Wal Mart, to just the simple pear shaped lady, it's all included in that average.
So you see guys, her boobs aren't THAT big because America is super super fat, and fat women's massive tit's count too. That's it. That's the article.
Who're you going to believe, guys, you're lying eyes or an article that was ghost written by Vic Mackey or jealous ass Jabette the Hutt?