Last week I was in Silver City, NM on business. Decided to drive to White Sands National Park on Sunday to do some hiking. It is about a 2-1/2 hour or so drive.
Got up early Sunday and had a bit of breakfast. Before I left on the drive I took care of business. I had no problem whatsoever until I am about 5 minutes from the Park. As I am pulling into the parking lot at the visitor's center I am starting to crown. By the time I get into the bathroom I have a slight breach. Finally get on the toilet and my insides come out. Cleaned up the best that I could and went into the gift shop to have a look around. About 30 minutes later I am at the trailhead to Alkali Flat Trail. It is a 5 mile loop trail through the dunes. As I am about to head off I have another rumbling in my stomach. Fortunately there is a restroom at the trailhead so I spend another few minutes in there letting out what is left of nothing in my system.
Surely there is nothing left and I have come too far to abort the mission now. Besides, my stomach does not hurt at all.
I finally get onto the trail and I am about 2 miles in when it hits again. So I turn around and clinch my butt and hike back out and drive back to the visitor's center to leave one last present before aborting the mission of hiking Alkali Flat Trail and brokenly drive back to Silver City. As I am leaving the toilet at the park I heavily line my now stained underwear with about 20 feet of toilet paper. By the time that I reach Las Cruces the urge has hit again. I find the first toilet that I can at a crowded convenience store. The bathroom is a one-holer and there is not lock on the door to keep people from walking in on me. I make an executive decision to drive to another store nearby. I make it OK bouyed by the extra toilet paper stuffed in my underwear. I leave Las Cruces and make it to the Loves Truckstop just west of town.
I pull into Loves and rush to the toilet. Get in there and realize that there is no toilet paper. Step back out of the stall and grab a roll of the rough brown paper from the hand dry dispenser. Too bad if the toilet gets stopped up with the heavy paper. They should have the real paper available. I finish what is left of my business, stuff my shorts with a ton of brown paper to the point that it looks like I am wearing a diaper and fortunately make it all the way back to Silver City.
The underwear and the remaining paper end up in the trash nicely sealed up in a plastic bag.