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After irth

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Everything posted by After irth

  1. Saw Pain Of Salvation with Klone opening last night at Come And Take It Live. Was a good time. Just sayin...
  2. After irth

    Cajun

    Went to Vic & Al’s last night. Damn friendly place. Highly recommended. https://vicandals.square.site/
  3. Sunbrella-brand cushions came with my set, and they’ve been the best cushions (including other Sunbrella ones) I’ve ever had. Heavy duty fabric, very sturdy filling.
  4. Full Polywood set here. Couch, loveseat, chairs, ottomans, and tables. Heavy as shit, never rusting. Love the Sunbrella cushions. Easy to clean and maintain. Whole set is 3 years old and maintenance free so far.
  5. Cheers to all of this. The sleep. The reading. The peace. I don’t really give a fuck about sugar, but… Well done, my friend.
  6. The grocery store: “Ooo, looks like someone is having a party!” Every damn time. To be fair, every day is a party at my place.
  7. So…in regards to titters, in general, where’s the best in town for two guys staying downtown? Used to do Expose by St. Edwards. Doesn’t have to be the fanciest. A little seedy is ok. As long as it’s laid-back and relatively friendly. Seeking the perfect mix of not getting constantly hustled vs not getting stabbed, either. Much thanks to the Surly pervert brigade, in advance.
  8. It must really suck to be your offspring.
  9. As of two hours ago, they have recovered most of their equipment, thanks to diligent Guitar Center employees in North Houston.
  10. Is that you? Or just a random forum post. Regardless…that person sounds poor.
  11. On team Johnny for this, but... Jesus...ol' Depp just a mumbling, stuttering little prick, ain't he?
  12. In an effort to curb things, I downloaded the Reframe App and set up an account. Might try a little helpful accountability for a while. I feel like I need a little something because I'm attending a 3-day Heavy Metal festival beginning tomorrow, so.....an accounting of the long weekend will be forthcoming. Gonna try to focus on energy and stamina for this thing rather than hampering myself by drinking.
  13. I thought it was an attack of Diverticulitis, which I had once before 2 years ago. And...the way I was going at the time, I might have been having another flare-up along WITH the ulcer. I felt like I had a lump in my gut. Felt like I had to shit all the time, but didn't. Also had really shitty uncorrectable heartburn. Did a bit of a sensible cleanse and my gut felt great, but the heartburn was still there. Finally, my wife asked "what's your stool been like?" She hit the fucking ceiling when I said "very black and tarry". I had no idea that meant...blood. I was at the GI Doc the very next day, getting scoped.
  14. Judging from the satellite photo...titter? Or...something more sinister? Please elaborate.
  15. I haven't been through ABIA in 4 years, but I will be picking up a friend from there on a late-afternoon arrival. Is there a place to hang out, chill with some food & drink, and wait? Or is everything inside the TSA lines. Am I better off just camping out in a cell-phone lot? Or...is there some place very close that will work?
  16. United shifted around an August flight. Original departure flight was at noon. They moved us to 2:30pm. Only other option was 10am. Went with that instead. Just once, I'd like to do shit as originally scheduled.....
  17. That’s a great story. Thanks for sharing. Nice to know that life not only goes on, but thrives. Even in dipshit Lufkin, the local AA chapter is 74 years old and has 3 meetings a day, 7 days a week. I think I’ll check one out and see what comes of it.
  18. You seem to be full of sense and practicality. What the hell are you doing here? Solid advice, my friend. Thank you.
  19. Judging from the responses, I’m guessing the path I’m on will only get worse, correct?
  20. Thanks for the support. It was weird sitting down and typing stuff. I was trying to provide bullet-points for perspective, but it was hard to paint an accurate picture. I completely skipped quite a few things that are driving my anger, frustration, and stress. They’re no excuses, but they are explanations for my behavior that I cannot seem to turn off. Bottom line: the past year-and-a-half has sucked, and I have been increasingly self-medicating. I had a bleeding esophageal ulcer in October, and that mightily encouraged me to dry out for a few months. It wasn’t difficult. Not drinking isn’t hard. I have had no further health issues, and I am in decent shape (could stand to lose 20 pounds) The last few times I’ve “gone out for a few beers”, I’ve given myself the internal pep talk, “Behave. Be sensible.” Nope. Doesn’t work. It’s hard to stop once I start. So…maybe I should just embrace the “NOT drinking isn’t hard” mentality. I’m tempted to dismantle my bar and clear up half a room in my house for some other use. I love Music. I have a huge music collection that actually requires attention and “curating”. I’m a classically-trained pianist married to a virtuoso violinist (and guitarist). I love to read. I love cooking. I have hobbies, interests, and a life with an awesome wife (no pics). She’s 15 years younger than me, and I have every incentive to live to be a thriving old fart. I guess I know what I need to do, huh?
  21. Thank you, Mac. I truly appreciate the feedback. I don't have kids. I've never had a spouse call me on my shit (until now). I've never hit Rock Bottom. I have done stupid shit, I've embarrassed myself (but not in front of close friends), and I've never been pulled over or anything (thank God). Somehow...I have maintained...and people seem to love me. But...I have this nagging feeling that something terrible lurks...and I really don't wanna test what might come next.
  22. I've been meaning to share here, but haven't had the chance to sit at a real keyboard and "get it out", so to speak...but I thank the Surly members that showed their support for my dip-of-the-toe a few weeks ago. Essentially, I'm a long time listener but first time caller. I'm 51. I've always been a partier. Since college. Dominant personality with a hedonistic attitude. For anyone that's ever been in a band, when I say that I suffer from LSD (Lead Singer Disease), well then...you can extrapolate my dominant personality from that...ha! I've never stopped, though. I've always been a party animal, even though I live a fairly domesticated existence. I cook, and I'm damn good at it, but it gives me an excuse to drink while I do it. On the grill, at the stove, in the oven, managing the smoker...always a cold beer, glass of wine, or excellent Bourbon in my hand. We moved (back to Texas...yay!) to Lufkin from Fort Myers, FL in 2019 with nothing. The first pieces of furniture purchased were a Smoker and a Bar. My idea of going on vacation is going to the local bars, hanging with the locals, and finding out about the area. Or...going to places I know and drinking (and eating). My tolerance is so fucking huge that I'm perfectly fine until...I'm not. By the time the alcohol kicks in, I'm well beyond redemption. The next morning yields nothing but blackouts and guilt (even if I've done nothing). In January 2021, my Mother died. She died at home, in my Father's arms at their home in Seguin. 3 minutes later, I pulled into the driveway (after a 300 mile drive), with my Doctor-Wife in my ear urging me to check for a pulse (she was previously on the phone with my Father). That's how I said goodbye to my Mother (who was already dead). My Father had been her full time caregiver for the previous 5 years. Since then, I have spent the past 16 months as HIS caregiver. Without exaggeration, 50% of my time was spent in Seguin between January and August 2021, and then we moved my Father into our house in Lufkin. And then had to go back to deal with...shit. Did I mention that my Father had 3 shoulder surgeries during this time-frame and that I was there to see him through it all...? We weren't prepared for the level of dysfunction that surrounded him. He's never once had to clean up after himself...and it shows. He's grieving. He's depressed. He's (we know NOW) clinically suffering from Dementia. There is not a day goes by that I don't clean up something that has been (either) bled on, pissed on, or smeared with shit, and nothing I do/say seems to correct his behavior/awareness. Fuck it...I'm tired of typing. Suffice it to say that my motto has always been: I don't drink to escape, I drink to cope. Well...clearly I'm coping with more than I can stand. I'm a Binge Drinker. Plain and simple. I known the Weekend Warriors, and the Habitual Drinkers, and the Every Day Drunks, but none of those are me. I don't have to drink every day. I'm perfectly fine on the days that I don't, but... On the days I DO drink, I just cannot moderate. I think I have come to terms with "being powerless". Therein lies my problem. I don't want to quit, but I will if I have to. I just want to cut down. But...if I am truly powerless before alcohol, then... By they way, it is 9:50pm. I started drinking at 12:30pm. Since then, I have had (2) Speckled Hen, (1) Yuengling Light), (2) Modelo Draft, 5 Fishbowl Margs, (2) Modelo Draft, (3) Carlsberg pints, and (1) Miller Lite. And I'm still typing this..... I'm angry. I'm pissed. I'm doing 8 million fucking things a day. And...I'm drunk. And I'm trying to figure out how to improve.....
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