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troph

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by troph

  1. We moved out to the lake in 2007 with no ragrets to be close to the water. That plus a slip and lift were my non-negotiables. Once going out for an hour became easy we had the set up we wanted. Spending the whole day with boat ramps and an hour each way commuting to the boat just doesn’t work for me.
  2. When I am deeply present, usually in nature, sailing, fly fishing, sometimes hiking, and some times during sex - all of the past and the future and all of that unique attributes that make me wish I was not here, not me, that I was not in connection with the world of humans vanish and all that is left is the eternity of the moment and the ambiguity of the boundaries and definitions of myself as I meld into the natural world. It’s in places like the river and the marshes where who I am is without any label and subject to no social constructs. It’s really then that I feel the most peace and the most alive. I think it’s a little Buddhist though I desire no formal tag for it.
  3. I’m not confused I love sex. guilt? it’s more just the intense pain and loss of wasted years in a cult and a determination not to fall into another one (surly and the horns excepted of course). I feel like I lost 15 years of my youth and adulthood to lies.
  4. You meant transphobia right ?
  5. I've come a long way. I'm 100% ok with masturbation now.
  6. I'm not an athiest and not an evangelical about anything except possibly what I believe is an obligation to revere and respect the Earth and all of its inhabitants. it's in the moments where I do that successfully where I find the most peace and harmony.
  7. I'm also talking about apps to many other schools and my boy is applying but stands a 1% chance to get into UT so sadly I belong on this thread.
  8. that's what I'm saying, it's his writing but instead of me just redlining the snot out of it we talk through word choice and I ask him what he thinks is a better word or better sentence or paragraph structure. we finished his resume which he will provide to a few schools and to his recommenders last night, only 5 drafts but it took a good bit of time. his essay is nearly done, probably needs 3-4 more drafts before a final 3-4 more on nits and final word choice. it's going ok, and I'm trying to see it as a writing class for him in and of itself. the heaviest lifting is almost done.
  9. in the thick of these apps. ugh it's so hard when you are committed to guiding and not writing the app. it's amazing how far they have come but how far they have yet to go as students and future thinkers, writers and professionals. his writing is good for 17 but it's so far from good as a grown adult. engaging in what about this, what about that, try this, try that is excruciating. my 17 year old is teachable at least, no way I'm doing this for my 15 year old. I'm definitely hiring someone.
  10. I will take a look at these. I’ve vehemently trashed evangelicalism, it was bad then when I was one and it’s atrocious now, crusades, slavery, KKK time periods may be the only periods of time when a branch of Christianity was worse. It’s absolutely that awful right now. I have not trashed the more traditional, liturgical and more progressive christian philosophies. I’ve taken a more deist approach. Additionally, what I think doesn’t matter, what is the truth will remain the truth and I know I am not immortal and that is fine. I have a deep reverence and respect for the Earth and believe I am a part of it not above it. I believe the earth is a reflection of the divine and if I am not respectful and in reverence to the physical world I am denigrating the truth. If I face my creator free from my earthly body one day so be it, but I do not require it to acknowledge my subservient position on the Earth. How I treat people is part and parcel with the respect the physical world demands. It’s less about a belief in a personal relationship and transactional sanctification and more about deep reverence and acknowledgment that I am temporal and subordinate to laws (be kind, be respectful) the violation of which are an anathema to “god”. While I have not forsaken any past transactional moments I may have had, I have steered clear of continuing a path of personal faith possibly in reaction to my past, my unique circumstances and my family of origin. I must believe in perfect mercy and justice if I am to believe in any form of a perfect god in which case I am prepared to meet this mysterious, ethereal and gender non-conforming deity (read your bible folks) with reverence, awe and respect. so when I have my dark nights, I do not have a personal faith to lean on, I only have the understanding that we all go through these times, making my obligation to respect the Earth and to be kind to all of its inhabitants that much more resolute. that’s pretty much all I got.
  11. I don’t doubt the importance of such difficult times in a person of faith’s life. I guess it’s a function of where do you look in those times or what do they mean to you. The last decade crescendo’d on me to a massive existential crisis with all the questions and relentless lack of answers. I guess it happens to the best of us. I do not discount the meaning or experience of the Christian I just mean to say it’s not exclusively a religious or faith thing.
  12. Fox app is a no but maybe a fubo trial….??
  13. I’ve got it and it’s streaming trying to see if it’s the same as OTA can’t tell yet. Seems different but may have to check tomorrow during the day.
  14. The dark night of the soul is not an inherently Christian thing, it’s really just being human. Christians may question those times because their faith should allow them to rise above or questioning their faith seems unthinkable but it happens. For others it’s just the trials of life. I just turned 50. 40-42 were great. 43-44 were injury filled and 45-47 were the pandemic. 48-49 were filled with post pandemic malaise and an actual long covid nightmare. Dark night of the soul? Try dark as fuck decade of the soul. There were maybe 3 good years in that decade. Some may look to their faith and God for blame or for meaning or for answers others may look elsewhere or ascribe no meaning at all but the concept of being tried to the brink by life is as old as any religion there ever was.
  15. Fair, but she is a swiftie and so I’m sure we could work out a deal.
  16. I wear my boots and guards wading here or anywhere except sometimes in cold water I’ll wear hiking shoes. Waist deep is just dumb in a warm water creek. And well, I’ve been known to do some really dumb shit.
  17. I dunno I find a billion dollars kinda hot. Wish she was a lesbian and lived in bee cave, oh and I was single because I’d chase her in a heart beat.
  18. what's the best streaming service on a trial basis we can use and get local channels bc fuck YTTV. I get the antenna thing, but a one week trial on hulu or whatever the fuck might be the easy button for us.
  19. I think he’d settle for a huston street or Omar qunitanilla too.
  20. did you know scratching your crotch is marginally acceptable if you are a guy but if you are a lady it's considered crass and ridiculously unacceptable? fucking double standard.
  21. so today is the big day? I hope he makes the cut, I hope he ends up ahead of wilson by the end of the season. that's good for texas football and I'd be mildly pleased. otherwise I don't give a shit, he's not my family and he's not my client so idgaf. grown men being so fucking invested in this shit is kinda funny.
  22. so are we playing Saturday or what? we are? great, who gives a fuck what time. I have nothing to bitch about, I'll make a breakfast taco spread to remember and me and my boys will plop our Saturday morning lazy asses on our couch and do what the troph families have done for years and years, cheer on the horns. 11am, 23pm, 7pm don't make a shit, it's perfect all the same, at least on the first saturday of the season. youtube tv can kiss my ass though for sure.
  23. i was waist deep in brushy creek once and the next day had what looked like mini chicken pox or measles all over the parts of my body that were submerged and they itched like chigger bites for over a week. that's the last time I was super aggressive wading (above my shins) warm water creeks.
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