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Father's Day Question: How do dads live with being MIA?


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Posted
12 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

I say this as an old man who has been through a lot -- Life is a helluva lot simpler if you always try to do the right thing.

Yeah, teaching a kid that it's a whole lot easier to remember the truth than whatever lie is currently being floated is a perfect example.  Once that light bulb comes on, though, they get it.  Clearly for some people, that switch never gets flipped.

  • Like 1
Posted

I am glad you got the 50/50 split.  Maybe not ideal, but certainly better than the once-a-week/every-other-weekend thing that rapidly turns into once a month (or at least it did with my dad).  

Posted
14 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

I say this as an old man who has been through a lot -- Life is a helluva lot simpler if you always try to do the right thing.  Some people just have a lot of trouble trying to make that a habit, though.  

While not always perfect with this myself, I do tell my boys "It's never too early to do the right thing."  Hoping that sticks.

Posted
1 hour ago, troph said:

My ex wife told me “happy other parent’s day” on Sunday. I was “this” close to telling her it’s fine, you can call me their dad.  I finally am that woman. 

 

 

FWIW, I call my mom every Father’s Day.  It’s absolutely respectful of her resolve as a single parent.  I understand those are different circumstances, but to your kids, I’m not sure it makes a shit, as long as you’re there for them.  

Posted
10 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

TLDR I didn't hear from either of them on Fathers Day and it sucks but it's been this way for quite awhile so I've adjusted.

I went through that for close to 10 years. just keep letting them know you love them and you'll always be there for them.

last weekend was the best Father's Day weekend I've ever had. they figure it out. keep the faith.

  • Like 2
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
On 6/18/2019 at 10:11 AM, tejas60 said:

I went through that for close to 10 years. just keep letting them know you love them and you'll always be there for them.

last weekend was the best Father's Day weekend I've ever had. they figure it out. keep the faith.

Much appreciated, thanks pops.  If for no other reason than just to irritate the piss outta that bitch, I will fight on.

Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

Much appreciated, thanks pops.  If for no other reason than just to irritate the piss outta that bitch, I will fight on.

Definitely listen to Tejas.  They will figure things out if you have patience.  Another story.  

Long story short.  I had to file for joint custody after months and months of the games my ex would play.  The only lawyer I could afford at the time ($300 retainer) didn't even know which court to file my case in (he filed in chancery; not family).  Once I filed the papers, it took from month 1 of my daughter's life to month 12 to actually get into court.  I had to hire a private eye as my ex was hiding from the summons.  It was a complete disaster.  It was surreal.  How could a father, who had nothing to do with the separation, not be able to his kid for basically the first year of her life?  Coincidentally, I got to take my daughter home on her 1st birthday.

Flash forward to age 3.  At that time I picked her up from her daycare and either took her to her grandmother's or my house each day.  On the Friday before Mother's Day, she took home a ton of Mother's Day projects and cards for her mother and grandmother.  I was never the sentimental type but, for some reason, I began to look forward to the same on Father's Day.  That Friday I picked her up.  Nothing.  At first I was hurt until I remembered that many of the kids in this particular daycare probably didn't have fathers.  Hence I understood the situation.  So we're driving home, she's in the back seat, we're listening to the radio.  All of the sudden I hear, "Daddy, I love you."  First time she ever said it without me saying it first.  Now it's possible she was coached by someone at her daycare or, possibly, her grandmother.  But, man.  I tear up just typing this.

She flew back to TN via Florida two days ago.  We had several long talks over some beer.  She 100% understands the negativity and uselessness of her mother.  And that's without me EVER badmouthing her.  (I made it a point to never be that guy.)  She even said she wished that my current wife was her real mother.  Do your thing and be there.  If you are a true father to your children, they will come around.

   

 

Edited by Knoxtnhorn
  • Like 1
Posted

OP, I cannot answer any of your questions.  My daughters are far and away the best thing I’ve ever accomplished, and while I do have to travel for work (sometimes longer than I want), I couldn’t imagine being away from them “just because”.  They are quite literally the light of my life. 

Posted
17 hours ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

What if....Slorch's dad is also Rocko's dad?

Yawn...

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