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EE2B

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Everything posted by EE2B

  1. We bought the Owlet for our second kid and used for about a week. The first time it went off in the middle of the night when the sock came off, we stopped using it. If they have changed the way the sock fits, it might be worth it. Otherwise, it’s going to cause you to have a heart attack the first time it comes off their foot in the middle of the night.
  2. If you would’ve had a spiral staircase, the cat would’ve been safe.
  3. EE2B

    Casket's

    Can you carve dickbutt into the top of it?
  4. She could’ve made some money on our last major construction project. The craft folks were bringing hookers in from Dallas and they were using the project port-a-potties to conduct their business. Apparently it went on a while before the guards caught on. I don’t think most of those guys would cull anything
  5. My ex boss and I always used to joke about being a delivery driver for an auto parts store. I know another guy that worked for one of the railroads who would drive a van and deliver new crews to the train and pickup the crews that had timed out.
  6. So, he stormed out and left a trail of dick shaped suckers in his wake?
  7. Honeywell has one for about $100. Amazon has one that is made by Honeywell for about $75. It works with Ring and Alexa. We have a Honeywell that works pretty well and the App is easy enough for my wife to use so you should be ok. 😂
  8. At 8pm on Halloween night, I turned the front light off and went back to watching the Rangers game. My wife comes through and turns the light back on and says we still have candy to give out. My oldest comes back a few minutes later with her friend. The friend comes in to use the restroom before heading home. Before she leaves I take all the candy we have left and dump it in to a Walmart bag. As my daughter’s friend is walking out the door, I tell her happy Halloween and hand her the bag full of candy. After she gets in her car I turned the light back off. Wife comes back through and asks why the light is back off. I told her that I gave away all the candy as requested. My oldest explained where the candy went. My wife was not impressed, but baseball watching continued uninterrupted.
  9. The last 13 years of Texas Longhorns Football.
  10. Buddy of mine went to do some electrical work for a guy in town. When he got to his house the client had a heavy French accent. He asked the guy what he does for a living and he told him he was a conductor. My buddy responded that he always wanted to drive a train. The client responded that he is the conductor of the local symphony.
  11. Ordered. Maybe now he will use both hands.
  12. We’re at a wedding tonight and I asked my wife what the reception was going to be like. She said “I think it’s just a caricature board”. I asked her if she meant that someone was going to be drawing caricatures. She looked at me funny and said no, that’s what we’re eating. I finally got it. She meant charcuterie board.
  13. I will need pics of your mom and amounts of money she is receiving to determine if I can help her with this unexpected windfall of cash.
  14. You can milk anything with nipples.
  15. It could be worse, your HOA president could be @markstanco. I’ve considered selling because of this, but I would probably have to give it away.
  16. For me, it’s taken the edge off and allowed me to let a lot of shit roll off my back that I would’ve gotten pissed off about previously. It’s also allowed me to be honest with myself on when I’m having a bad day and get myself out of it much faster than before. Previously, I would worry about things that did not amount to shit for a long time. Now, I can move passed it much quicker and get over it.
  17. When you quit drinking, did you talk to your family doctor about giving you something that will help you calm down and relax? 2 years ago this past October I quit drinking thinking it would fix my problems. I was quick to get angry, short tempered with my kids, and I would blame everyone else for the shit inside my head. Finally, my wife told me that I had to see the doctor about getting something to help me calm down and get outside my own head. He put me on 10mg/day of Zoloft. It took a couple of months for it to fully kick in, but I feel like a totally different person. As a man, I never would’ve admitted that I needed a pill to help me make it through the day. It took my wife kicking my ass to convince me to tell the doctor I needed something to get me through. I have a much better relationship with my wife and kids now and I wish I would’ve done it much sooner. Good luck to you.
  18. EE2B

    Shit My Kid Says

    My 10 and 6 year old girls walked through the kitchen tonight singing “rolling down the street sipping apple juice”. I asked my wife who taught them that. For some curious reason, she believes it was me.
  19. Is it one of the wooden ones? If so, pay whatever it costs. It’s worth it.
  20. She bought them at a local Bakery.
  21. If you are ever in Linden, Tx (not sure why you would want to be), but the County Seat Cafe has a damn good hamburger and onion rings.
  22. My wife spent $70 on 2 dozen cupcakes for my 4th graders class valentine party. I must not have realized how expensive eggs are.
  23. I have a flight out of Greenville, SC at 7PM tonight. Can’t wait to see what kind of clusterfuck this will be.
  24. I’m actually surprised they didn’t include Scott Surratt from Carthage on that list if they were going to throw shit against the wall. I believe he’s won 9 state championships in 15 years or something crazy like that.
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