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NeverMarryAStripper last won the day on May 19 2021

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  1. Las Vegas hell, we could keep the Texas grid powered
  2. I know a good place to put about 100,000 of them
  3. Somebody needs to put that next to Trump doing his two-handed jackoff dance
  4. The trick to getting your groceries bagged correctly is to put them on the conveyor belt in the order that they should be bagged. It’s your fault the groceries aren’t getting bagged correctly.
  5. For the second time this month I set my phone on the back bumper of my truck and then forgot to get it before driving off. The first time it made it several miles before sliding off. I didn’t realize it until I got home, but using the find my iPhone app on my IPad I located it on Woodway drive. Unfortunately it had been run over several times. This time it made it to within a block of my house so it didn’t get run over and the screen is just completely smashed. I guess I’m going to have to start wearing it in a pouch around my neck like a giant lifealert.
  6. I just have to laugh when those morons do the horns down out of pure reflex
  7. I don’t think Jesus had a dog, but my hope for heaven is crossing that rainbow bridge and spending eternity with all of my dogs
  8. All splash pad lifeguards should be armed
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