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NeverMarryAStripper

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by NeverMarryAStripper

  1. He won a fucking Oscar for it
  2. They should just start referring to it as the Gulf formerly known as Mexico
  3. It tastes more like pee starch
  4. Fuck safelite, they do a shitty job
  5. Did she give him a hand job in the cab?
  6. I doubt Vince Young is flying private these days
  7. What a poorly written headline. The men died while they were searching for Bigfoot; they were found by people searching for them.
  8. It also says it averaged $52.5 per school. If TX/OU got half a distribution then the other 14 school got more than that.
  9. It looks like they were trying to back into a parking space. Fuck those people.
  10. I'm sorry, but somebody just needs to take him off the board
  11. I thought season 2 was better as well, but the ending was just a little over the top
  12. That sounds like something a beta cuck would say
  13. Chick-fil-a changed something about their french fries lately and now they taste like shit
  14. Sorry that you're not man enough to grow hair
  15. It’s a great movie
  16. It makes sense if there won't be any future elections in which to interfere.
  17. My father died in 1992 at the age of 62 from pancreatic cancer. He knew he was terminal, and he planned his memorial service and his funeral and even approved his obituary. He had my brother, and I make all of the arrangements according to his instructions while he was in the hospital for the last time. After reading this thread and thinking about that, I started rethinking my desire not to have an obituary. I sat down and wrote up what I would like as an obituary. I modified the instructions in my death file and put in a copy of my desired obituary. I intend to update the obituary periodically as circumstances change. So if any of you assholes read the the obituary below in the Houston Chronicle, you will know that old NMAS has passed on. NMAS was born on birthdate and died on deathdate. He is survived by his mother, Mom NMAS, his children NMAS, III, NMAS Son #2, NMAS Son #3, and NMAS Daughter; his grandson NMAS Grandson; and Sebastian, his best friend and constant companion. Besides having four wonderful children and a fantastic grandson, NMAS never accomplished much in his life other than being the undeserving recipient of a tremendous amount of love from numerous canine companions. NMAS looks forward to reuniting with Cocoa, Gandy, Prince, Duke, and, at some point, Sebastian. NMAS also hopes that when he is reunited, Duke will forgive him. During his life, NMAS traveled to some amazing places and had some truly unique experiences. Still, he regrets having never been able to walk the Camino de Santiago nor drive the Pan American Highway from Texas to South America. However, in the end, he recognized it was time for him to go. NMAS requests that any acquaintances of his who are so inclined and who do not harbor entirely negative feelings toward him make contributions, in Sebastian’s name, to the Houston SPCA, Citizens for Animal Protection, or the no-kill animal shelter of their choice.
  18. My daughter was in specialized private schools for neurodivergent children from the 6th grade through High School. She is now in a specialized postgraduate life skills school for neurodivergent kids. I can tell you for a certainty that $11,500 per year isn't going to get you shit for that.
  19. Next time take a sharpie (no don't stick it up your ass) and cross out bird flu and write Trump.
  20. I watched it and thought it was really good.
  21. Despite my best efforts, I have been unable to find a single electrician, plumber, or HVAC contractor in Houston who is not a straight-up crook
  22. I don't know what the fuck that is, so I'm guessing that I never had to change one out
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