Jump to content
RPM

Happy New Year Assholes!

Recommended Posts

One of my neighbors must have set off some tannerite. It was a nice little bang that shook the house. I expect the Sheriff's Dept to be showing up soon.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This Channel 5 local NYE show from Texas Live is a cluster. I like having a local show, but damn this is bad. It's like nobody expected a crowd of 5K in a bar and a live band to be loud. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Marie Osmond loves coffee enemas! Happy New Year Marie and your uh HUUUUGE TRACTS OF LAND and wide awake asshole!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, MrPhlegm said:

Marie Osmond loves coffee enemas! Happy New Year Marie and your uh HUUUUGE TRACTS OF LAND and wide awake asshole!!!
 

I heard Matt rhule only drinks Marie Osmond ass coffee. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22 hours ago, RPM said:

One of my neighbors must have set off some tannerite. It was a nice little bang that shook the house. I expect the Sheriff's Dept to be showing up soon.

Are we neighbors?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

Been a pretty good start to the year. Saw Ron White at Winstar and watched the Linda Ronstadt documentary when I got home. No ragerts.

Ron White was awesome as ever, but the miles are starting to show. He talked about a health scare he had in October that caused him to cancel a bunch of shows and to quote Ron, "I don't cancel paychecks." He's also getting a divorce after being ruled in a common law marriage. His ex-wife jokes were hilarious. Let's just say breakfast changed. He also had his Mom there and at her request told Tater Salad. He said he hadn't told it in like 15 years and couldn't remember all of it. Mom told him to watch a DVD. He did and it was awesome. 

Had pretty good seats, VIP Sec, Row CC. It was an awesome seat until 2 huge oilfield type guys came in and took the 2 empty seats next to me. I had some sympathy for the guy next to me because it was physically impossible for him to fit it the space per seat. But on the other hand, he needed to recognize he was already lined up offsides and that as far as I know he's a fuckin' Okie. There were a couple struggles for knee room, but we managed to survive without things escalating. That guy's breath smelled exactly like you'd expect an Okie's breath to smell.

The Linda Ronstadt doc is just fucking incredible. Man, the heartstrings that tugged at. Her voice was just finominal. What she did with it was even moreso. Leaving Rock at the peak of her career to do Broadway. Teaming with Dolly and Emmy Lou. A Nelson Riddle album. A Mariachi album.

Now she struggles to sing old family traditionals. Parkinson's is a bitch. And I'm still in love with her.

Edited by RPM

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gonna start this story by mentioning that our entire holiday season. was screwed up this year.  Thanksgiving was cancelled.  Christmas was barely cobbled together.  
 

What we gonna do for the New Year?


Spent most of New Year’s Day in the ER. When you get the phone call to come to the hospital, Trauma Bay 3, you drop everything and haul ass. 

Turns out my wife (no pics) collapsed at work. Only reason she was in a “trauma” bay was because it was a courtesy (spacious, in a quiet corner, etc). 

For the record, she was already there, because she’s the Chief Hospitalist and was on-shift. And when the boss collapses unexpectedly in the hallway, the place goes on full tilt. 

Got the VIP treatment when I came storming in, although it was a holiday with a reduced staff, so shit still moved slow. 

Despite my wife’s protestations, I told the ER doc “As long as we’re here snd already running a tab, do it all, snd let’s make sure we’re not dealing with something more sinister than just a really aggressive virus.”

So...it made for a long fuckin’ day. And I’m 99% sure that it was an isolated event. But I brought her home, fed her some homemade soup while she finished patient charts on her laptop, filled her Rx, gave her drugs, put her in bed, then poured a Bourbon (more than one) while I had a quiet nervous breakdown in the other room. 

And I’ll be damned if she didn’t wake me up at 5am so I could drive her back to work. 

So...it’s January 2, and I’m on my 2nd cup of coffee, wondering what kinda bullshit might happen today...

Happy New Year to all you Surly Bastards. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congrats on it being nothing serious. I work in a high contact scenario, but unlike a hospital, not everyone I come in contact with is there because they're sick. I just assume they are or have been in contact with someone who is. I figure it at about 90% and use inordinate amounts of Purell as a countermeasure. I also get a flu shot every year. To date I've had a few colds, but no major breakdowns in my defense protocol and 0 infectious diseases transmitted.

Gotta admit, handling some of those passports gives me the willies. You're from where and you've recently been WHERE?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

An addendum to my Winstar experience. I got there about an hour before the show. Went to the Rome Bar and there were long lines at the stations near the stars, but short lines at the stations in between. RPM can does maths, so I go to one of those. When my turn comes the bartender disappears and after a couple minutes a different bartender walks by and tells us to get in line (pointing at the long ass line by the stairs). 

Now in my younger days I would have ripped into that dweeb's ass with venomous fury and violent intent. But older, wiser RPM opted to find a different bar. It's a casino. They have more than 1. Problem is this is New Year's Day and every motherfucker and their MawMaw in a wheelchair/Rascal is there. The basic rules of traffic are fucked when they suddenly decide to stop and assess the gaming machines/lit a cig/fill a Depends. 

I manged to work my way down a couple hundred yards to a small side bar and ordered a double bourbon and Coke. The extremely cute bartender in a cowgirl "look at my titties" outfit gave me the option of Jack or Crown. I decided to take circumstances into consideration, not call a point of order and said "Let's make it Jack." I then watched her pour a triple+ shot to empty the bottle and top it off with a splash of (cringe) Pepsi. 

She was so proud of herself for the generous pour (and I tipped accordingly), but fuckin' Pepsi? You motherfuckers need to come to Jesus.

Edited by RPM

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


mpu


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Recruiting ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Help ... For Sale ... Politics ... Board Discussion
×
×
  • Create New...