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cactusflinthead

Depression, OCD, and whatever else ails you between the ears

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Has anyone tried using CBD oil? I read up on it and went to a store to check it out. Jesus, it's expensive. $150 for a spray bottle that lasts around 50 days? No thanks.

I thought it could be good for anxiety but at that price, it would just make it worse.

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I haven’t but I use kavinace which is about half the cost and has anxiety relief properties. It’s an amino acid supplement works on gaba receptors.

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14 hours ago, Sandman said:

Has anyone tried using CBD oil? I read up on it and went to a store to check it out. Jesus, it's expensive. $150 for a spray bottle that lasts around 50 days? No thanks.

I thought it could be good for anxiety but at that price, it would just make it worse.

There are some cheaper sources, but they are hard to find. And yeah, that stuff is great. We use it pretty sparingly, though. Usually our diffuser has patchouli or sandalwood in it.

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Taking a beating with my Mom issues & having a shit show with getting records xferred to the nursing home, trying to get inspections & quotes, PLUS actually doing the work (which is the part I get paid to do).

 

Move fwd to tomorrow & I have 2 kids to get to school (I do.the drive for TL;DR reasons), reinspection meeting near Manchaca, baseball practice for the boy, a gutter meeting @ 1900 (after practice) & maybe somewhere in the middle of this I'll either have word mom can get into the nursing home or I'll get a gibberish call or text & she is on the ground again.

 

Here is the last text she sent me around 0700 Sunday:

 

 

I guess leswanMm

cv delmmpimnn

cc Czech

Llll

 

Let's see if I'm expected to make dinner tomorrow night.

 

Fun times.

 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

 

 

 

 

 

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Well, on top of all the other shit I have going on now (PTSD, dealing with 2nd flood in 2 years, etc) looks like me and the wife are headed for splitsville. Fuck my life.......

So sorry to hear this. My heart aches for you. Ugh.

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I think the standard reply in cases of divorce is, "PM Hornian."

That sucks man. Keep your head and play the game as it comes to you. There is going to be incoming mail. I highly suggest hiring professional help at whatever rate you can afford. Also make use of whatever counseling the government deems you worthy of receiving. That's Hornian's first advice from what I recall. Get thyself to counseling now. You and her both if there is still time to fix anything. If it is Fubar, well that's the next step. One way or the other, the sun is going to come up tomorrow. The grass is going to keep growing and at some point we have to mow it. 

My ex didn't even show for the final decree. It's been a dozen years and...I have moved on. She still calls because I am the primary conservator of our daughter, but I ain't ever going back again. Life goes on. Whether we do or not.

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20 hours ago, Dances with Dachshunds said:

Well, on top of all the other shit I have going on now (PTSD, dealing with 2nd flood in 2 years, etc) looks like me and the wife are headed for splitsville. Fuck my life.......

Ugh - so sorry about this.  Thoughts and prayers.  Do you have her number?

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I apologize if this has been covered in this thread or the old thread, but have any of y’all committed to meditating? Friend if was telling me about the app Headspace, an app for guided meditation, and he swears by it. Says it’s helped him with his anxiety and his depression quite a bit. I used to at meditation almost like it was a joke, but I’m willing to try anything at this point. 

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Anything that increases mindfulness is gonna be good. Won’t be a cure all but will be good. Playing or listening to music, making art, walking, nature, hiking, breathing, writing, meditation, yoga, etc.

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On 4/16/2018 at 11:29 PM, youdunnf'dup said:

I apologize if this has been covered in this thread or the old thread, but have any of y’all committed to meditating? Friend if was telling me about the app Headspace, an app for guided meditation, and he swears by it. Says it’s helped him with his anxiety and his depression quite a bit. I used to at meditation almost like it was a joke, but I’m willing to try anything at this point. 

I was doing mindfulness meditation daily during an especially difficult period about a year ago. Very helpful. I used a couple of apps. Headspace is very good at teaching you the practice. I would recommend using it for at least the free trial. I ended up settling on Calm, and I used it daily for several months. I eventually realized that I have other mindfulness practices that I've done for most of my life and was neglecting. Those practices were focused music listening and guitar playing. Making sure that I take time to do those things regularly helps me keep anxiety at bay. I do still meditate a few times a month when I need to focus on gratitude or push down some anxiety.

My advice is to learn mindfulness meditation; it's awesome. But also think about focused activities that you enjoy. For me, those activities take my mind away from and help minimize my anxieties.  

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I was droning on and on during counseling yesterday, when my counselor breaks in with, "You do realize you just described the beginning of a depressive episode, right?"

Son of a bitch, if she wasn't right. I think this is the first time I've recognized it before it hit me full bore in like 25 years. Here's hoping it matters. Worth a shot, anyway. She's a brilliant counselor; it'd be a shame to waste her insight by failing to do something with it.

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I find when I recognize it I can be more gentle and compassionate with myself and I can let my thoughts be what they are - thoughts not necessarily reality. That’s the main difference awareness brings for me. Doesn’t move the needle much else but knowing I need to cut myself some slack and knowing my perceptions might not be reality seems to help a lot.

 

Maybe you can prepare for self compassion and guarding yourself against assuming your thoughts are reality.

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What the hell, worth a shot. Beating myself up is certainly more familiar, though.


Haha. I’m not worth a shit, I’m a fragile broken human, what’s wrong with me, why can’t I get my butt up and go, my life is worthless, my career is going to crash and burn, my clients will fire me, I’ll lose my home, I’m a terrible parent, spouse, friend, you name it the insults just come rolling in. If I see it coming I say “duly noted, if we feel that way in a week we will reassess.” Luckily my cycles are rapid. But damn the hole can be deep.

Hang in there, the thoughts are powerful but that’s all they are, thoughts. Reality is likely much different.

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What Troph said, it goes a long way.

 

I recently stopped taking my meds for bipolar disorder after ~20 years. My Psychiatrist was reluctant but we'd been discussing it every visit for the last 5-6 years. She reluctantly agreed and gave me guidance on a 3-month taper that I promised to follow, and I did- to the exact timing she told me to.

 

I hadn't missed a dose in 20 years (doses which had fluctuated up/down occasionally) but felt I'd grown enough as a person to handle most everything without needing to be constantly medicated.

 

I was a tiny bit apprehensive about it and swore I'd be honest with myself, though part of me knew that wouldn't be a possibility if I went too far off the rails.

 

Anyway, I'm 5 months into beginning the taper, and 10 weeks into not taking any medication at all. The last 6-8 weeks of the taper was keeping it at a non-therapeutic level so that I could experience life without any help but still be able to ramp back up immediately if needed (something you can't do when lamictal is completely out of your system).

 

All went pretty well... and then I hit a 2-week stretch of the worst depression I'd experienced in over a decade. It was fucking terrible, most days for a couple of weeks I couldn't get out of bed until mid-afternoon. Fortunately it coincided with a time I was between projects, and honestly that may have fed it since I'd been on a 3-year run of craziness (but not manic craziness). Ultimately I got through it and shit has been good for a while now.

 

For the first month or so after ditching the meds I was really fucking edgy and short tempered ("why are people so fucking stupid?") and then some depression set in. Fortunately the finesse of learning to manage it over the last couple of decades came into play... and knowing when to persist and just fucking get through it was valuable (mindfulness, physical exercise, meditation... just generally looking out for yourself).

 

Anyway, this is just some random hammered rambling but wanted to say hello and share some experience after following this thread for a long time (both incarnations) but never posting.

 

Best wishes to you all.

 

 

 

 

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It's cool when somebody hits reply the first time. 

I'm going to have to add to the chorus. I agree that you can feel a bout coming on. I've compared it to catching a cold or some other disease that can be temporary or somewhat extended depending on how we respond to it. Sometimes it takes somebody else seeing it in us and a mention of it brings the realization that we have been fighting off the black dog for a week or more. 

I can't afford to curl up in the fetal position for a week. I have done it when I couldn't afford to less than now. It never made me feel any better anyway. I know this, but it is still tempting some days. Fuck it. The whole stupid world can go f themselves because I give up. 

The world kept on moving. My kid kept growing. My parents got older and time marched on. I however was stuck in the mud of my own mind. Dwelling on thoughts that had no basis in fact. Stubbornly refusing comfort. I was going to wallow in this mud and feed on the sad. I should be glad that circumstances forced me to come to grips with my own existence. I had to own my depression. It was me, but not the me I could be or was most of the time. Yeah, what happened was shitty, but sitting here staring at my navel wasn't getting me anywhere. I'm thankful that family and friends put up with me during those dark days. 

I heard Dave Letterman one time said "Depression is seeing the world all too clearly." yeah the problem with that is we aren't nearly as smart as we think we are sometimes. Things are better than we think they are most of the time. We tend to focus on what we need to fix, not what is working properly. I don't think the people that found their way to this thread are dumb asses. Whatever we might say to each other in CR there are not that many idoits on this board. Being intelligent does not impart immunity to depression. If anything it might make you more prone to it. 

That still doesn't mean you are omniscient. Not one single one of us knows for certain what is going to happen tomorrow or ten minutes from now. Sure, most of the time we have a pretty good handle on the day, but there is too much randomness to the universe to ever be certain. 

It's absurd. We can either approach it like Camus or Kierkegaard. Both of them still would rather see us rolling our stone happily. 

I did my best to dodge religion. Or at least give the atheists equal time. 

 

 

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    Though I already knew it, thanks to y'all for reminding me I'm not alone in my struggle with the mental issues that have plagued me for 15+ years. Mildly at first.....just depression...moderate, with some dark, heavy stretches. Now that along with PTSD that started about 3 1/2 years ago, but only medically diagnosed about a year ago ( I wasn't totally  open with my VA Psychiatrist for a long time....until I trusted her more.       Trust issues due to a prior bad experience with Mental Health office in the Air Force).

    As troph said, lot of good input on this page. Problem for me is finding a way to make myself use it. For most of the last 2 years it seems like the dark clouds all around me never part long enough for the sun to help me catch my breath. The black dog never stops trying to bite my ass and attacking long enough for me to lick my wounds and regroup. I seem to always be in the weeds....never up to do anything, no longer enjoying things I enjoy ( I have ten+ books gathering dust on the shelf, a half-written novel I haven't even opened the file on in over 3 years).

Cactus, I agree, that one has to own your personal demon, not let it own you. But knowing that and doing it are two things far apart. I know my demons, but don't believe I'm nowhere near adequately dealing with, much less owning them. Recent events have now got me further under the black clouds with no sunshine it sight. One saving grace, I guess, is that though I ,like virtually everyone in similar positions to me. have stray, occasional thoughts of checking out, I have no desire to do so, nor would I at this point. 

So, I will keep waking up each day. Hoping to find a spark to head back to where I want to be.

To answer earlier questions : Box, it will be 14 years on the 1st of May......yeehaw.; Board User...555-867-5309

 

 

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one has to own your personal demon, not let it own you.


That shit is so fucking cliche (along with "giving it a name") that it's never meant a fucking thing to me. I've never had any understanding of what people mean when they say those fucking phrases.

I'd appreciate any elaboration possible if it's really a thing.

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3 minutes ago, KaiserSoze said:


 

 


That shit is so fucking cliche (along with "giving it a name") that it's never meant a fucking thing to me. I've never had any understanding of what people mean when they say those fucking phrases.

I'd appreciate any elaboration possible if it's really a thing.

 

Would it have made you feel better if I had used the term " Thoroughly know and understand your problem" then " Find out why it causes you to act like you do and incorporate coping skills to allow you to keep it under control"? Yeah how I put it might have been a little clichéd, but spending 25+ years writing up thousands of reports in the military tends to creep ion to my personal writing. So excuse the Hell out of me.

But congratulations on getting to the point you are with your personal demon. I wish you much success.

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7 minutes ago, KaiserSoze said:


 

 


That shit is so fucking cliche (along with "giving it a name") that it's never meant a fucking thing to me. I've never had any understanding of what people mean when they say those fucking phrases.

I'd appreciate any elaboration possible if it's really a thing.

 

Gonna go meta on you

pink cookies rambling

I think it is important to know the name of it. What Is the It? 

I was hurt here. To touch it and leave it behind. Can I drill down to where it was and I was and the moment

what is it? does it have a name? Is it a thing? what is its substance? what is it and where was it and where was i? was I there? did it happen? 

i think so. Is it a demon? is it a flash of a moment in time? a brief and shattering moment. I don't know. but we spend thousands of dollars trying to find the moment in time when it all went fucking sideways. It hurt here. hell is other people, that's what the CistercIan taught me from the atheist

riddle me that batman

you, me we're all trying to figure this shit out and some days we do better than others. most of the time I just try to keep moving generally forward

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Would it have made you feel better if I had used the term " Thoroughly know and understand your problem" then " Find out why it causes you to act like you do and incorporate coping skills to allow you to keep it under control"? Yeah how I put it might have been a little clichéd, but spending 25+ years writing up thousands of reports in the military tends to creep ion to my personal writing. So excuse the Hell out of me. But congratulations on getting to the point you are with your personal demon. I wish you much success.

 

 

 

Yes, that's a big help. It wasn't a personal attack, just an opportune time to ask for clarification... and you happened to be the next guy who said it once i finally decided to open up. Apologies if it came across as hateful toward you, I was venting general frustration.

 

 

 

 

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Always has to be one fucker that comes in and shits on someone's post just because the way it was written got their grammar or term usage

panties in a wad.  Well, fuck you. You just go on tooting your own horn for your getting off meds. I wont comment any more. 

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27 minutes ago, Dances with Dachshunds said:

Always has to be one fucker that comes in and shits on someone's post just because the way it was written got their grammar or term usage

panties in a wad.  Well, fuck you. You just go on tooting your own horn for your getting off meds. I wont comment any more. 

hey now, no need to run off. be willing to give an answer when called to explain why you believe what you do. 

how did it go?

going to break the seal for you. I haven't quoted scripture in this thread yet. Peter.

 

Quote

 

1 Peter 3:15 New International Version (NIV)

15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hopethat you have. But do this with gentleness and respect

 

now that might not mean a damn thing to the man that looks at the world under the microscope,

but the sentiment is the same

be ready to give an answer why you think what you think, and i agree with your premise. It is good to pin that demon. name it. know thy enemy.

stand your ground

 

I try to stay out of the way on this thread mostly. I have said more tonight than I have in a long while. I don't want to see either one of you back out of being around here. we're all in this together

 

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The thing is I might not even be a continuing contributor to this thread, it just felt timely tonight. My intent certainly wasn't to hurt anyone.

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And KS belongs here and so does dachshunds... chill bros ain’t no thing here we all good.

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2 weeks since the wife's oldest has been home after his attempt at suicide which got him a week to be checked out mentally .  He's had 3 large breakdowns since coming home.  Today because apparently someone called to tell him his computer cannot be repaired, which sent him into a rage where he was hitting himself, told his mother F you and your help, dont ever Fn help me.  Kid is not stable at all.  His being here has everyone on egg shells.

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I don't like how the new place keeps up with threads a person follows. Golf, that was buried in the feed and I have no idea what I was doing at 11 o'clock on Wednesday. 

How are things today? 

I may have to bump this thing periodically or check the stuff I started just to make sure I didn't miss something. 

 

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I don't want to intrude, or derail, or anything like that, but I was hoping it'd be okay to update everyone on some things.

I found out on Thursday that I didn't get another one of the jobs I interviewed for. Apparently my interview went well, but I was up against some seriously intimidating competition. I would've loved the pay increase and new responsibilities, but whatever, we'll see how a PhD likes having to work every single Saturday for at least an entire year. I've got one more interview I'm waiting to hear back on, and two more interviews that should be coming through the pipeline soon. I'm also about to go hard applying everywhere, not just the firm I work at.

I'm now 24 weeks sober, and I passed two important drinking tests this week; the line at Franklin Barbecue on Friday, and my friend's crawfish boil today.  I was tempted at both (the boil more so than the line), but I made it through without drinking at either. Now I just have to make it through Fantasy Football Draft Season; that was the other big drinking point on my calendar. But, if I was able to make it over those first few hurdles, I can get over next few.

I still have my weak moments, and I'm thinking of asking my doctor to increase the doseage on my SSRI. I'm still hesitant to go to therapy.

Oh and I'm weighing under 200 pounds again, despite a steady diet of barbecue and Mexican food, and minimal exercise, which is awesome.

I want to thank whoever it was on the old board who told me to put on blinders and just run my own race. That has helped considerably.

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@Tall Dark And Texan I know how you feel on the job end. Last year I had 6 jobs in about that months. It was damn stressful and shitty. Now I have an okay paying job with pretty good benefits as well as working with my freind, so that helps me a lot. I hope you too also find really awesome job that you like. Congrats on staying off beer.

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Thanks for the kind words, Seed. I'm glad you found a better, and healthier, work life. Beer was only part of my problem; cheap whiskey and diet soda also put me in a pretty dark place. At my worst I was taking down a plastic 1.75 L bottle and two 12-packs of soda a week. Looking back I wonder which was worse; the cheap whiskey, or the soda. The combination of both scares the shit out of me. I replaced alcohol with tea when I get home from work (green, and lemon ginger with probiotics, there's also an orange cinnamon tea I like), and that has definitely helped with my mental and physical health. Maybe it'll even correct some of the damage I did to my body in my heavy drinking days. At least it will put a stop to the damage.

I forgot to mention, I had an eye exam a few weeks ago, and for the first time ever, my vision improved. I've always feared the visit where I'm told my vision is getting worse (my vision had been the same for about ten years), but instead I received the amazing news that my vision had improved. The only thing that changed between the most recent visit and all the other ones was quitting drinking.

And since I know TBone will stop by here every once in a while, I am indeed playing my guitars again. More so than I have in a long time. I even took some 1000-grit sandpaper to the back of my necks so that they play a lot smoother. No more of that high gloss bullshit slowing down my fretting hand.

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Man, the medical improvements from quitting drinking really hits home. I quit for good at Thanksgiving, and my blood pressure has stabilized for the first time in forever. I had elevated liver enzymes... and no more. High cholesterol... now on the low side. Across the board, better, better, better.

I'm scheduled for my 1st colonoscopy next month; I'm hopeful that will be good news, too. God knows I eat enough fiber for it to be. (Sorry... TMI.)

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First off, congratulations on all of you that have quit drinking, smoking, got off meds, got on meds or whatever that has helped you get better. I salute each and everyone of you. Keep up the good work. 

As for me......well, I'm headed the other way. Never really drank much my entire life. But the last few months, me and Don Julio have become very good friends. I'm taking up the slack for those of you who have quit. For the last 2+ years, I've ate everything in sight and never darken the door of a gym. Don't intend to either. Checked my weight the other day for shits and giggles and I'm a svelt 275 lbs........ at 5' 9"... yeah I look sexy........not.

For those boys and girls who have just joined in, I've been tagged with depression on and off for 15+ years, PTSD for about 3.5 years, gone through two floods in 2 years, so I've effectively lost everything I've worked for over my adult life. Now, looks like I'm at the very least going to be legally separated from my wife of 14 years (as of 1 May).  Host of other shit I wont go into. So, here I find myself, staring 62 right down the road, damn near broke, living in a tiny, POS trailer, burnt out on fighting all the shit that has been beating on me since I was a kid, and especially since I retired from the air force 10 years ago. I don't have much fight left.  Time to sit on the porch, a Margarita in one hand, and give the world the finger with the other.

For those of you that are on the right track back, stay with it. Don't be like me. Cheers. 

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On the "know your demons" thing.  It is therapeutic and useful to know what it is that ails you, but I will submit that that is only part of the problem (this coming from AA).  Self-knowledge is usually not enough.  We have to accept whatever it is that's wrong with us (and that's hard to do sometimes) and also be willing to do what is necessary to overcome it, and that can be very hard.

 

To use the wound analogy, for a lot if not most things, you not only have to poke and prod at it, and discover its nature, but you have to ream it out good, get rid of all that mental gangrene.  This tends to come with the assistance of a professional, and it can be difficult and painful, but it is a short-term pain compared to the misery that wound is going to cause if it keeps festering.

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Dances, you have a support system here if you need it. I'm not sure how private messaging works over here, but if you do, we're all here to help however we can. I know there's a "PM so-and-so" response people throw out anytime someone mentions divorce, only I have no idea who that so and so is. I think there was a divorce thread on the previous version of this board; someone please help him out with that.

As far as weight loss goes, I have gained and lost weight more times than Oprah. And Oprah wipes her ass with my salary. I've done the treadmill, elliptical, and weights, but the one exercise that helped me mentally AND physically, was walking. Low impact, get some fresh air, a good easy way to start, no asshole instructor yelling at you to pick up the pace.

Finding a new hobby, or in my case, devoting more time to an old hobby (guitar), is another thing I'd recommend. Give yourself a fun project and just get immersed in the details of that project. Even if it is something you can't do, you can still admire it. Two examples: I'm not an architect, but I am fascinated by stadium architecture, both here in the United States and beyond. I'll spend hours looking at pictures of Camp Randall Stadium and Camp Nou, and I'm not a fan of Wisconsin OR FC Barcelona. Similarly, I can't cook barbecue at all, but I'm fascinated by pit design, and how that influences the taste of the food. Offset, Reverse Flow, Bewley, hell even a Kamado sparks my curiousity.

Again, these are all just suggestions from some guy trying to be helpful to another guy on the internet. Hopefully something here helps.

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As usual, I'm having trouble accepting praise; weird stressors at work this week, when all I can think about is the things I got wrong, but I'm getting lots and lots of upper management telling me I'm knocking it out of the park. Why is it when I'm actually doing very well, I'm only looking at the stuff that drags me down? I'm sure part of that is genetic, part chemical (I'm definitely going to talk to my doc about it), but it's just a bitch of a goddamned personality trait that I really wish I didn't have. Funny thing is, I teach a seminar on project management, and one of the modules is on "Overcoming Imposter Syndrome" -- everyone at some point feels like they are just fooling people, that they don't really belong. Successful people overcome that feeling with lots of interaction with others, but some people wallow in it so much that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy -- if you think you're going to be "found out" then eventually, you will be. I need to nip this in the bud, because I don't want to be that guy. Hell, the irony alone would be too much to handle.

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I probably don't deserve to ask anything, what with my shitty outlook and disposition. But this isn't about me, but is one more worry to add to my list.

My daughter is a single mom. No help from dad (doesn't want him involved, long story and I agree with her) She has struggled with emotional and mental health issues as well as epilepsy for most of her life. About ten years ago she also got hurt (back) and is permanently disabled. Though independent as can be, she tried to continue working, but finally had to admit she couldn't and applied for and was granted SSI disability. She is doing a great job raising my grand daughter, despite her limitations. Did I say independent? She has always wanted to have her own living space and not live with me, her mother or other relatives. In fact, she lives in Denton, away from everyone, just to show she can make it on her own. She has only asked me for financial help one time in the last 8 years, but I do help her out some financially, as much as I can, by just sending her 30-40 dollars a couple time a month. I don't know if her mother helps her or not as we don't speak much. 

The last couple of years, she has actually gotten a little worse on her mental health issues, with more meds helping some. Physically, two years ago, her docs prescribed a walker for her and last year put her in a scooter for when she needs to go distances over 200 ft or more.

Last month, she had a benefits review and today got a letter saying she no longer qualifies and will no longer receive any benefits. Poor kid called me distraught and crying. 

Anyone know of a good SSI attorney ( not one of the ones that flood tv with ads) near or in Denton? 

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I’m in a moms who lawyer closed fb group and I’ve had good luck with referrals for practice areas like this let me ask around.

Edited by troph

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On 5/1/2018 at 10:18 AM, Walden Ponderer said:

As usual, I'm having trouble accepting praise; weird stressors at work this week, when all I can think about is the things I got wrong, but I'm getting lots and lots of upper management telling me I'm knocking it out of the park. Why is it when I'm actually doing very well, I'm only looking at the stuff that drags me down? I'm sure part of that is genetic, part chemical (I'm definitely going to talk to my doc about it), but it's just a bitch of a goddamned personality trait that I really wish I didn't have. Funny thing is, I teach a seminar on project management, and one of the modules is on "Overcoming Imposter Syndrome" -- everyone at some point feels like they are just fooling people, that they don't really belong. Successful people overcome that feeling with lots of interaction with others, but some people wallow in it so much that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy -- if you think you're going to be "found out" then eventually, you will be. I need to nip this in the bud, because I don't want to be that guy. Hell, the irony alone would be too much to handle.

I assume that you are aware of this, but this strikes me as classic alcoholic thinking.  Ever tried AA?  I gather that you aren't into Judeo-Christian theosophy, but I also gather that you are smart enough and spiritually oriented enough to make use of it.

Edited by TwiceHorn

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2 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

I assume that you are aware of this, but this strikes me as classic alcoholic thinking.  Ever tried AA?

I'm more on a Buddhist path; have a mentor and everything. I know they aren't mutually exclusive, but one only has so many hours a week one can be checking in with folk.

Along those same lines of thought, just got a great report card -- my therapist told me to go away until I'm actually in crisis again; evidently, if I keep coming to weekly sessions, she's worried it could become dependency on therapy.

Fine by me; frees up another hour a week to spend in my garden.

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Easily reconciled with Buddhist thinking as well.  It's just an ultra-practical way of implementing spirituality and the peace that comes with it.

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I attend AA regularly with a Buddhist monk.

He's the reason we had to adopt a "no pets" rule at my home group.

He kept showing up with a live possum wrapped around the back of his neck which made some of the women uncomfortable.

God put him in my life to learn acceptance.

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