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Life and Death of a Salesman

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Damn...

kind of makes me clutch to the bureaucratic inefficiencies of my corporate world a little tighter.

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2 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:


Yup. Lawyer.
Our seller wanted to use his lawyer against our advice. Along the way the lawyer has mucked things up needlessly.
An example is that there is a clause that if any of 4 key employees leave within 45 days post close, seller has a $7500 penalty. Buyer and seller came up with this in lieu of getting signed employment agreements prior to close. Well seller’s lawyer takes it upon himself to make the $5000 and 60 days. Why? Not a single person talked about that or agree to it.

We are trying to close Monday as deal fatigue is setting in for seller. His lawyer calls me last night to ask where the closing documents are. Are you kidding me? That’s your job! Seller is highly pissed at his lawyer at this point.

 

There is really a fine line between what is needed for protection and what is overkill. It seems as companies get larger a lot feel the need to add positions and entire divisions that claim to have the best interest of their employer in mind but end up actually being and doing the total opposite. It's rather annoying and can become downright maddening. 

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Q2 has been a road warrior quarter: Orlando, Hartford, Chicago, San Jose, Hartford again, NYC, St. Louis, D.C., Ft. Worth, Calgary (CA), and they are asking me to close half my pipe.

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Another Monday, another hotel. Really looking forward to Q2 ending and taking some time off first few weeks of July.

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On 5/24/2018 at 4:30 PM, BearSchlong said:

Bump.  Anyone selling anything?

I'm loving my new gig, income is up sharply this year.

Hardest job I've ever had though.

I will make my Q2 target on sales and beat it significantly on expenses.  After last year, my first year ever on the bottom and grossly missing sales target; I will never take it for granted again.

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been a while since chiming in...still in the vp role. still growing. i have a solid team of 26 reps, only a handful are under a year and some humans cant get out of their own way. rinse/repeat. getting the squad to fight through these summer blues so that we finish 2018 strong. go get em.

Edited by riloh05

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6 months in and one deal closed.
Just signed a listing for a $16.45m OFS company and should sign 2 more in the next 30 days. Confident I’ll end the year with ~5 closed sales.
That would be unreal my first year.

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On 6/13/2018 at 10:31 AM, riloh05 said:

been a while since chiming in...still in the vp role. still growing. i have a solid team of 26 reps, only a handful are under a year and some humans cant get out of their own way. rinse/repeat. getting the squad to fight through these summer blues so that we finish 2018 strong. go get em.

thats a ridiculously large team, 26 Reps? All Sr Field folks? 

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Q2 is going to close fine, limping across at 100%. Had a major deal that would have me in accelerators get pushed to Q1-19 due to a re-org...kills me, the POC was done, the MSLA was done, terms negotiated, teams ready to do the project, clear regulatory urgency, then...re-org. Yet they still want to have a call between their CISO and our CEO on Monday. Why have a call when you have emphatically told me no deal for '18? 

the pain is that these ass clowns are spending money hand over fist on dumb shit like building out "Google-esque" office space. 

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10 hours ago, next2naus said:

thats a ridiculously large team, 26 Reps? All Sr Field folks? 

Yes. We have some in channels, different product sets, etc...

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On 6/24/2018 at 1:34 AM, riloh05 said:

Yes. We have some in channels, different product sets, etc...

seems like it' too large to really get some done one on one

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3 hours ago, next2naus said:

seems like it' too large to really get some done one on one

perspective may help... we are the largest provider (# of clients) in 2 of our 4 products. Example- last month we on-boarded (went live) 1800+ new logos.

Edited by riloh05

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4 hours ago, riloh05 said:

perspective may help... we are the largest provider (# of clients) in 2 of our 4 products. Example- last month we on-boarded (went live) 1800+ new logos.

That doesn't make it better or more sensible IMHO. I work Info/SecIT, seems odd to me for the teams to be so large. When I was with IBM no FLM had a team that large, same when I was with HP. Now I typically work from smaller companies then that as I find big places tend to suck, of course my current shop is one pace to be the second largest security provider behind only Symantec in scope by EOY

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Have a had a strong year and quarter, hit quota for the quarter half way through and hitting monthly quotas by week 2, next year is going to be hell if this progress doesn’t continue.

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1 hour ago, next2naus said:

That doesn't make it better or more sensible IMHO. I work Info/SecIT, seems odd to me for the teams to be so large. When I was with IBM no FLM had a team that large, same when I was with HP. Now I typically work from smaller companies then that as I find big places tend to suck, of course my current shop is one pace to be the second largest security provider behind only Symantec in scope by EOY

Team? Whole sales group is 26. One of our partners has hundreds if not a thousand+ sales reps that we provide for. We compete against the adp/efx's of the hcm space, they have that many reps in a single city.

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13 hours ago, riloh05 said:

Team? Whole sales group is 26. One of our partners has hundreds if not a thousand+ sales reps that we provide for. We compete against the adp/efx's of the hcm space, they have that many reps in a single city.

I get it now, totally different model. 

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Stuck in a rut-

Unmotivated, plenty of deals coming in but just basically keeping busy. How do you all kick yourself in your own ass to get re-motivated when you fall into one. (if you ever do) 

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On 6/26/2018 at 12:22 PM, JimmyHoffa said:

Stuck in a rut-

Unmotivated, plenty of deals coming in but just basically keeping busy. How do you all kick yourself in your own ass to get re-motivated when you fall into one. (if you ever do) 

make sure to enjoy the fruits of your labor...the thrill of the chase is a very real thing. i might chose something to do outside of the daily  grind to remind me why i am grinding.

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Most of y'all know I sell stuff to music programs at schools and ISDs....We're up for the year, which is awesome. But June and July are boring as fuck....

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On 6/26/2018 at 12:22 PM, JimmyHoffa said:

Stuck in a rut-

Unmotivated, plenty of deals coming in but just basically keeping busy. How do you all kick yourself in your own ass to get re-motivated when you fall into one. (if you ever do) 

I compare my motivated check to my unmotivated check. 

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As a summer job college intern 30 years ago, I met and began working at a startup with a salesman named Lee.  My mentor.

I would work with him twice more over the years at different startups.  He died last week and I drove to San Antonio today for his memorial to mourn with his family and fellow salesmen who came out to honor one of our own.  

Long Live The Salesman

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On 6/29/2018 at 3:42 PM, RMac5 said:

I compare my motivated check to my unmotivated check. 

This.  Last month's check was one of my all time top 10, this month's looks awful so far.  I've never heard it couched in terms of motivated vs. unmotivated check. . .I think I'll steal that one from you and use it from now on, so thanks.

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On 6/29/2018 at 12:46 PM, Turkleton said:

25% over ytd, but 90% of budget. Fuck you budget.

wait... 90% of budget would be outstanding, right?  10% under budget would be hero territory.

 

NM, I see now that your "budget" is the target or quota, not expenses.

 

The slackers appreciate all of that growth you are providing so that their budgets may be lower.

Edited by slorch

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3 hours ago, slorch said:

wait... 90% of budget would be outstanding, right?  10% under budget would be hero territory.

 

NM, I see now that your "budget" is the target or quota, not expenses.

 

The slackers appreciate all of that growth you are providing so that their budgets may be lower.

Correct. 125% ytd sales, but only 90% of my sales budget. Budget was set way too high, which I had very little input, but I still might have a chance to make it. Need a great 4th Q

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1 hour ago, Turkleton said:

Correct. 125% ytd sales, but only 90% of my sales budget. Budget was set way too high, which I had very little input, but I still might have a chance to make it. Need a great 4th Q

Last year I finished at 93%.  By about 6 points, my worst year ever.  I also took a territory at my boss' behest.  Normally anything below 95 gets you on a the "Long walk/ short pier" program. To their credit, company didn't F me over on my review.  I had my worst bonus ever in one quarter, but Harvey helped ease the pain with Q4 being around 115 to target.

2017 was definitely a year, business-wise, that would not soon like to repeat.

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my company doesnt care about quarters anymore.... allows them to fuck us over by creating a much larger half-year quota.

 

and my year over year quota for the exact same account set went up 35% more than I BOOKED last year.     My actual quota compared to last year increased almost 50%

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We're up where it matters but I'm struggling with a couple of seasoned sale guys.

All of a sudden they seem unwilling or unable to close and worst of all, they seem to both lack the ability to ask enough questions for us to get proposals right on the 1st try.

It's like the get an opportunity and then run from it with the bare minimum of information out of fear that if they go through the full process, the client will balk.

I HATE having to go back multiple times and re-do work....it creates a buyer's fatigue that directly impacts our closure rates.

I'm not sure if these guys have just morphed into Peter Principle personas or if they have lost their touch and need to be rebuilt.

Any good recommendations for current sales training to remind guys how to kill it and drag it home?  

I'm doing everything I can short of going and doing their work for them.

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By the way for any non sales people that like to read this thread-

If you are a decision maker dealing with a sales person the word you are looking for is NO.

Don't string them along, don't sugar coat shit, don't make them think they still have a shot when they don't, yes we understand you like the chase, the lunches, the tickets, and everything that goes along with it but be a fucking man/woman and if the sale has no shot of getting done tell the fucker NO not check back in a couple weeks, next quarter, NO. 

We don't hate the word, in fact in many cases we would be delighted to cross your fucking name off our prospecting list. 

Guess what when you are actually ready to buy something just give us a call and if you are lucky we will take the call. 

Thanks. 

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1 hour ago, JimmyHoffa said:

By the way for any non sales people that like to read this thread-

If you are a decision maker dealing with a sales person the word you are looking for is NO.

Don't string them along, don't sugar coat shit, don't make them think they still have a shot when they don't, yes we understand you like the chase, the lunches, the tickets, and everything that goes along with it but be a fucking man/woman and if the sale has no shot of getting done tell the fucker NO not check back in a couple weeks, next quarter, NO. 

We don't hate the word, in fact in many cases we would be delighted to cross your fucking name off our prospecting list. 

Guess what when you are actually ready to buy something just give us a call and if you are lucky we will take the call. 

Thanks. 

HaHaHaHa...

No just means they need more information/ better solutions( at least that's what we teach( LOLz)

 

There's definitely a balance, and knowing your customer matters,  I've had a few through the years that no meant hell no, not even if the world was ending tomorrow.  Some others just wanted to see how badly you want the sale.

 

Personally, I take no for what it is, but that doesn't mean that is the last time I will pitch it. I have been told on reviews that i am too respectful of the customer and need to find their 'stretch' point.  LOLz.  i just rolled my eyes.  I'm not changing who I am...

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Fiscal year 2018 ended today, great pipeline for 2019.  Learning curve was really steep this past year with the new territory but my income for 2018 was up about 40% over '17. Performed in the high first quartile among my peers nationwide, and this was in my first year in the new role.

The last 4 hours of the year I booked almost a full quarters business. My director actually offered to let me sandbag so I had to analyze if I'd rather have a massive January check or roll the dice and assume I'd front load 2019 so heavily that I'd use the momentum to achieve annual accelerators midway through 2019. So either a big check now or potentially higher checks Sept through dec 2019.

I chose the first option, bird in the hand, plus I can cash flow daughters spring semester at mizzou.

Today was just one of those incredible days when I'm glad to be in sales, no ragrets about anything that happened this year, and ready to just crush 2019. 

I'm not supposed to work until after NYD but I've got customers begging for contracts so we will see how many days I end up taking off.

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I'm going to beat my sales target by about $10 on roughly $19.2mm...LOLz, yes it is that tight. Fuck you, Harvey overlap- you were a beast!!!

Gonna beat expenses, however, by 28%.

Will run $20mm in 2019 most likely.  I never thought I'd say that.

 

Edited by slorch

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Bear and Slorch that is awesome, makes the holidays a lot more enjoyable.

Our fiscal year doesn’t end until 3-31-2018, I should be good too. Lots of capital in the funnel that will bill in March, should be a great Spring. 

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3 minutes ago, Parliament said:

So where is the thread for adequate salesmen having a rough year?

Onthe old site.  I got my ass kicked in 2017.

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2 hours ago, Parliament said:

So where is the thread for adequate salesmen having a rough year?

This is it too, just hang around. Mine always seems to find a valley whenever there is a good peak.

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Had a good, not great year for my first in the M&A world. Closed 2 deals. Have 3 other listings and expect 2 more in January.
My pipeline is full but you can never really have too many listings as the sales cycles on each vary widely.

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It's not often I'm the hero, but it's a blast when it happens.

Got the EOY email from my VP at 2am that he sent to the whole division complete with the "bearschlong is a badass, golf clap" ending.

Then he emails me at 2:05 with "what have you sold today? Need your forecast submitted in SFDC."

Ok I made up the last part.

Nice to have goodwill going into the 1st qtr.

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On 9/27/2018 at 4:12 PM, JimmyHoffa said:

By the way for any non sales people that like to read this thread-

If you are a decision maker dealing with a sales person the word you are looking for is NO.

Don't string them along, don't sugar coat shit, don't make them think they still have a shot when they don't, yes we understand you like the chase, the lunches, the tickets, and everything that goes along with it but be a fucking man/woman and if the sale has no shot of getting done tell the fucker NO not check back in a couple weeks, next quarter, NO. 

We don't hate the word, in fact in many cases we would be delighted to cross your fucking name off our prospecting list. 

Guess what when you are actually ready to buy something just give us a call and if you are lucky we will take the call. 

Thanks. 

We really, really like the tickets, free meals and trips to the titty bar.  You don’t worry about what words we choose.

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Is SFDC the worst thing to ever happen to a salesperson? I cannot stand SFDC, gonna be the death of this salesman!

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1 hour ago, RMac5 said:

Is SFDC the worst thing to ever happen to a salesperson? I cannot stand SFDC, gonna be the death of this salesman!

when its the end-all, be-all for senior management, yes, yes it is the devil.

 

Every fucking quarter we get told we have to clear out the pipeline of dead weight deals -  "really clean it out guys, if its wood, or not happening for 6 or more months just kill it.  we need good numbers for forecast next quarter"  

2 business days later:

 

HOLY FUCKING SHIT TEAM!!!!!! our division just lost $60M in the pipeline, executives are freaking out, we are going to miss the minimum number of sales to keep the lights on in the building- we are all going to get fired!

----- we need $75M in new business in the pipeline by tomorrow!  if your pipeline doesnt increase by 200% tomorrow morning, you are talking to Useless Asshole VP (who never spent a minute in a sales seat in their life) to interview why we should allow you to keep your job....

 

2 business days after that.

 

"Great job team we increased out pipeline by $115M this week- everyone is going to obviously exceed their quota by 20%.........  so we just raised the quota by 30%"

Edited by AUS-97HORN

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So true. And you tell the story so well!

 

2 months ago we paid some consultants $12mm to build a plug in forecasting predictor. Took the sales force out of the field for a week for training, air travel, conference hotel, etc.

 

Were gonna start using it immediately, right?

 

Nope. Crickets. It's as if the whole thing never happened.

 

Sales management is such an oxymoron.

 

 

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Is SFDC the worst thing to ever happen to a salesperson? I cannot stand SFDC, gonna be the death of this salesman!

Sure beats the alternatives, and my fortune 100 company has it completely integrated with billing, production, marketing, we have customized the ever living shit out of our instance.

 

I actually rage quit a job almost 20 years ago over Siebel.

 

Colleague of mine is the SFDC savant, she manages existing accounts. Hits annual quota in february every year and averages like 450%, with kickers and escalators I'm sure she clears about $500K. All because she has an otherworldly relationship with SFDC. It's almost Jedi-like. Thank god everyone else nationwide in her job struggles to reach quota otherwise they would success tax her to death. They'd reassign some of her accounts but then they'd lose the revenue because there's no way her peers would be able to manage that account base.

 

They audit her regularly to make sure she's not gaming the system, that's the quickest way for someone to get fired. You can be a non selling sonufabitch and stay employed forever but if you play fast and loose with the rules you're gone, no matter how much real revenue you generate.

 

Anyway, at my company the better you can manage salesforce the better your odds. I'm pretty good but if I actually worked more than 4 hours a day I'd be excellent.

 

 

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Actually it has to be way higher than $500k probably closer to $700k.

 

The rest of us have a dedicated team to handle Salesforce minutiae, she just does it all herself, because she came from that department.

 

 

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