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smuggs

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by smuggs

  1. 2002ish I hooked up with a Russian chick one night on 6th. She spoke limited english but from what I gathered she was in the country on a study abroad program. I had ridden downtown with my buddy so I said adios and she drove us back to my apartment in a shitty Mazda MX6. As we're rolling down Mopac she keeps asking, "You like patsmoke?" I'm thinking WTF is 'patsmoke', until she reaches under her seat and pulls out a bag with a scant amount of the most miserable-looking weed you've ever seen. I laughed and said hell yes I like 'patsmoke'. A few minutes later she asks, "You like Dave Matthews?" and pulls out a fucking DMB CD. Staring at this curvy, slightly Vic Mackey-ish but very cute Russian bird, I knew what had to be done. I said, "Fuck yeah I like Dave Matthews!!!" and she popped that CD in and we listened to fucking Ants Marching at high volume all the way back to my place on Pond Springs Rd. We got home, I made a beer can pipe, we smoked that little bit of crappy weed, and then went toe-to-toe for 15 rounds like Rocky vs Ivan Drago.
  2. Nah, I switched to an electric scrote shaver with modern avionics.
  3. - Beastie Boys - The Cure - AC/DC - Most everything heard on Little Steven's Underground Garage. - A lot of 80s top 40 countdowns. 82-86 is my sweet spot. And Sixteen Deluxe kicks ass.
  4. Wordle 278 3/6 ⬜⬜⬜🟨🟨 🟨🟨🟩⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
  5. Wordle 277 5/6 ⬜🟨⬜⬜🟩 ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟩 🟨⬜⬜🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
  6. Pretty sure I saw this dude backstage at an Erasure show @ FEC in '90.
  7. Motherfucker this one took me 30 minutes. Wordle 276 5/6 🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟨🟩⬜⬜ 🟩⬜🟩⬜🟩 🟩🟩⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
  8. "Dan Rather" kills me. Whenever he mentions Vietnam atrocities, holy shit.
  9. Wordle 275 4/6 ⬜🟨⬜🟨🟨 🟨🟨⬜⬜🟨 ⬜🟨🟨🟨🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
  10. Wordle 272 3/6 ⬜⬜🟨🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
  11. Now these are the members of the X-Men roster that I really want to see a movie about.
  12. Turrible. Wordle 271 6/6 🟨⬜⬜⬜🟩 ⬜⬜🟨⬜🟩 ⬜🟩⬜⬜🟩 ⬜🟩⬜⬜🟩 ⬜🟩⬜⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
  13. Watch this ep of American Greed. Salt Lake Instagram bro was ordering bulk fentanyl from China, personally manufacturing his own "Oxycodone" pills in his garage and selling them on the D-web using 5 or 6 flunkies to handle the mail order end of the transaction. Had 1.5 million in cash in his dresser when they busted him. The feds were able to personally link him to 95 overdose deaths. The guy wanted to be the Jeff Bezos of the illicit pill biz and didn't give two shits about his customers dying. Order comes in, box of homemade shit goes in the mail, on to the next. I'm sure there are countless others running the same style operation. https://www.cnbc.com/video/2022/01/27/season-15-the-kingpin-next-door-sneak-peek-overdose.html
  14. Wordle 269 3/6 ⬜⬜🟩🟨🟩 ⬜⬜🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
  15. Mining of the body is a tactic best used when facing The Predator.
  16. Same here, this is a fuck. Wordle 265 X/6 ⬜⬜🟨🟨⬜ ⬜⬜🟩🟨⬜ ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩
  17. To be fair there is a ~36% chance this same situation can happen on a Saturday night at any given Golden Corral location throughout the United States.
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