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Scheiss Meister

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Scheiss Meister

  1. Don't try that with an old veteran. They have more plain meanness than you think.
  2. Guy on third scores on the walk, guy on second steals home while guy on first steals third, pitcher's throw goes wide so guy on first takes home and guy who walked takes second.
  3. That's a blue heron. They're like raccoons; they'll eat anything they can catch.
  4. He didn't start the war, you orange buttplug!
  5. I was 16 and teaching swimming and boys sports in my hometown's summer activities program. One day one of my favorite swimming students was upset and not really participating in the class like he usually did. After class I asked him what was wrong and he confided in me that his mom had caught him taking money from her purse that morning and he was still smarting from the punishment. The next day I thoughtlessly needled him about it, including using the word thief. In front of the class. I knew that I had fucked up when he got pissed at me and stormed off, but not how badly. The next day his mom came up to me before the class began and told me that he wouldn't be back. She asked me if I realized that her son looked up to me and thought that I hung the moon until I said that, and that it hurt him so badly that he wanted to quit swimming lessons entirely. She then told me that he was in the car, if I wanted to apologize to him. I have rarely felt so low, nor given a more sincere and heartfelt apology. He didn't accept it, and I don't blame him. He did swap over to another swimming class and finished the summer program, so I'm happy for that. But I don't think that he ever forgave me. I know that I haven't.
  6. Almost sounds like every accusation is a confession.
  7. This is the kind of shit that gets people hurt.
  8. Not surprised at all to see Severn Trent there.
  9. The dog is the fourth one, and the only one that's permanent.
  10. The bar oil chamber on every chainsaw known to man has two fill levels: 1) is there even any oil in there? and 2) completely overflowing. There is no in between.
  11. Next come the championships!
  12. I have a tremendous fear of heights, but I would ride that multiple times. It looks like flying. The only thing that I'd be worried about is the T Rex or Pterodactyl coming out of that fog and snatching my tasty ass off that wire.
  13. Y'all is the contraction of ye all, not you all. In older English ye was the plural form of you, so y'all is plural.
  14. The TV Batman lunchbox was how I rolled up to Calk Elementary. Like a boss! Wait, weren't we talking about football practice? How's that going?
  15. I use mine all the time and love it. If it fits, it splits. Swinging a two or three pound hand sledge instead of a maul does less damage to my old shoulders. Of course, just like splitting with a maul, the better seasoned the wood is, the easier it is to split, some woods split better than others, and knots can be a pain, but I love mine.
  16. My wife (no pics) made some egg salad that is basically chopped deviled eggs. It is delicious. The best part? My farts tonight are going to be awe inspiring!
  17. I was born between 1960 and 1964, so I got a titer run for measles. I have no immunity, so my doctor strongly recommended that I remedy that. Guess who's getting the MMR vaccine at 3:00 this afternoon! Thanks, morons.
  18. Thanks for the updates. I appreciate them.
  19. My dad raked the leaves up, used a hand cart to put them around the bases of his fruit trees, then ground them up with a mulching mower. Made excellent mulch for his fruit trees, got the leaves off of the grass, and gave him something to kep him busy. Win-win-win.
  20. From what I've seen here and some talk I've heard, the list is: 1) When he signed on, Schloss was promised some facilities improvements, not just to the ballpark, but also practice facilities and such. Those were slow played after the Jimbo firing. 2) After their success in 2023, Schloss asked for more money for his assistant coaches. He was turned down, because Jimbo. 3) As part of the post Jimbo austerity program, some of the baseball support staff were let go without letting Schloss know until after it was done. When he protested, he was told that it was just that way and he'd better get used to it. 4) Alberts heard that Schloss was dissatisfied with the above developments and might consider looking elsewhere, so he called Schloss into his office and basically told him that if he was unhappy at A&M, he should look elsewhere. He invited Schloss to leave. In short, A&M Aggied it up as only they can. Why would anyone want to stay and be part of that kind of unprofessional cluster fuck?
  21. I'm not a soccer fan, but damn, she made that defender and the goalie her bitches. Now they have to be her bodyguards in the afterlife.
  22. I always thought that A&M should have seen Schloss' breaking their hearts coming from the time they hired him. He specialized in breaking their hearts in a regional or super regional every chance he got at TCU. He and TCU keeping the Aggies out of Omaha was a sure bet.
  23. How about we draw the fucking line at BEFORE someone gets "shot or jumped or physically abused violently"? Waiting until they become violent is how you encourage bullies. Then it's too fucking late.
  24. All of my pens are freebies, mostly from vendors at benefits fairs before I retired. My wife takes a pen every time she goes into the credit union, so I'll never run out.
  25. I once worked with a guy who said that he only drank two kinds of beer: Lone Star and free.
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