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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. First time I ever heard that term was after leaving Austin. Heard it from a guy who was a house-flipper in Austin and Atlanta before making his life's work the restoration and inhabitation of a huge historical building in Selma Alabama. His velvet rut story involved being back in Austin and watching 5 guys try to figure out how to move one table. It took time, maaaan. More cash, fewer phones. I could handle that.
  2. Ah, you listened to her song too. My favorite touch was the occasional Cartoon Southern pronunciation, followed up by several words of Non-Southern Woman Rattling On the Phone. NAW I WAWANT back down, NAW I WAWANT back down.
  3. My early Republican bent was brief but vivid. It was the late 70s. (Cue up "My Sharona" followed by a Franklin Mint commercial.) There were two kinds of Democrats-- locals and Yankees. I shot down the idea of working as an intern for my cousin the local Dem House Rep (later Republican Senator) because my brief exposure to University of Alabama Fratboy culture had been enough. So out of the woodwork my Mom's HS friend reappears in our lives. I'll call him Lizard Person. Mr. Person, as a college student, had been kicked out of 1950s U of Alabama for acting too racist. Read that twice. He is said to have finished up his degree at Baylor. and sometime later became a lawyer. Thinking back, he had the mannerisms of a closeted lawyer, but at the time he just seemed smarmy. Mr. L. Person was a daring thing, an early Reagan supporter. He invited us all to a rally up in North Alabama. To my Black Belt eyes, used to folks maintaining a facade of stateliness, North Alabama was a lumpy land of poor white people with junk piled in their yards. We finally got to the rally, in a piney flatland filled with fever-eyed men in their court appearance suits, and I asked my Mom and Grandmom, "Are we at a Klan rally?" Alas, it was not an exciting Klan rally, it was mumbled boredom. Later we visited L. Person's home, where I perused his shelves of books. I only remember one: https://books.google.com/books/about/No_More_Black_Babies.html?id=tZa3MQAACAAJ Later on, I told my Mom about that book, and she confronted Lizard on it, and he gave some slippery answer that seemed plausible by 1979 standards. So anyway, Mom and Grandmom did phone-banking in the election, Reagan was more or less our family business, I had nothing against Carter but he failed to get the hostages, Boom, voted Ronnie, done. Turned out to be my last R vote for a while, but I did it. As for L. Person, he visited us on Christmas Day, I was sleeping off a party from Christmas Eve, so to be cute he 1. Picked up MY guitar and started flailing on it to wake me up, and 2. went behind the French doors that formed a wall to my bedroom, and started tapping on them. I sorta kinda kicked the glass out of them while he was tapping. Lizard Person freaked the fuck out and fled the house. I only saw him once ever again, more than a decade later. He showed up at my Mom's house wearing a Confederate lapel pin. I found out after his death that he had founded a "League" of the South or some shit. By happenstance I had heard of them when I was enrolled at Alabama and had gone on the student radio as "Student X" doing my best O Brother Where Art Thou "We ain't GOT no radio" voice, "defending" this League in absurd ways but actually I was mockin it Mr. Gambini. Anyway, Mr. Person never said anything explicit. He used that good old cutesiness, that lingering pause, that raised eyebrow. Me, later on I became Military Police and a Dirty Hippy at the same time.
  4. The Oaths of Strasbourg, where the brother in charge of (one day) France and the brother of (one day) Germany cut a deal to stab Lotharingia all up and down its back, are some of the earliest examples of French and German. Each brother swore it in the language of the other one's followers. So either both guys were bilingual, or it was Peggy Hill all around.
  5. The only person I know who did it hopped a freight train. But there have got to be 987 different ways. Big ol' empty country with long borders and extensive coastlines...
  6. Un-retire yourself (as far as the Canucks are concerned) and find a course that only you can teach at the new college you set up (on the internet.) "Teach" bots online as your "job" while augmenting your hidden retirement money with proceeds from the monster-truck chop-shop you run in an old barn. I feel like I went over all this already.
  7. He helped toughen that kid up. Parents oughta thank him.
  8. Y'all remember Alabama Rep Mike Rogers with the worst dead possum toupee, who got drunk and had to be "held back" from punching Gaetz? Before that, before the Crazy Coup, I heard Rogers on local talk radio relishing how the Xtreem Maga Caucus were all going to get sidelined. He gloated about it, dripping with Insider Evil. Then MTG, Gaetz, et al got more power than anybody else, and Mike Powers went into Old Drunk Fat Alabama Frat Boy Kicked Out Of The Bar At 3 AM mode, wanting to tussle. (I have no doubt that the jackass Gaetz would have knocked Rogers out with Youthful Bath Salts Energy, then snatched his weave and paraded about waving it.) But anyway, other than it amusing me, I bring this up to suggest that we multiply Rogers by about 100 other old evil fucks, and that's probably how many people will make a deal with the Democrats, just to stomp Gaetz and his ilk.
  9. If you wanna go historical, pay the MAGAs in Confederate scrip.
  10. Chesebro has a pinched self-righteous Jeff Davis face. He'll go to his prison grave demanding to be tried again so he can prove his clever tricksiness was legal. I think Ellis is doubling up on the Prozac.
  11. Scottie got busted on a vote fraud rap He beat the rap by rattin' on some Trumpkins He said, hey, I know it's dangerous But it sure beats Macon But the next day he got offed By the very same Trumpkin Bacon These are Trumpkins who DIED DIED They weren't my friends, and they all DIED
  12. NYT informs me that Federal Courts have about two weeks of operating funds in case of shut down. Pretty obvious reason for Trump's Flying Monkey Caucus to flip off the lights.
  13. I assume that McCarthy made a deal with Democrats to have them help him stay Speaker so long as he cuts deals with them.
  14. Just put a pistol to your head and pull the trigger. SAME THING.
  15. Hunter Biden will be able to listen to right-wing talk radio Monday morning without flinching.
  16. Well I dunno, will it cover all foreign-sounding people, like that Welsh bastard Mike Davis and his close-harmony singing? Send him back to the green green hills of home. Probably be doing him a favor, save him the trouble of trying to swim there by instinct. That's what the Welsh do, you know. They just don't feel things the same way as you or I.
  17. They aren't even pages. They are peejes. Lots of peejes. That's what he said.
  18. Recon's job is to find the enemy. This young man might be lacking in finesse, but by cracky, danged if he didn't go above and beyond.
  19. Laugh now, Libtard, but when the time is right, Rep. Jason Smith will drive these reporters out with a whip just like Old Testament Jesus did.
  20. I concentrated on Tommy's jug ears for so long that I completely missed his pencil neck. I think I wore a larger neck size than he does when I was 15 and so skinny I could disappear by turning sideways.
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