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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. Funny you should name that figure. I have a miniscule pension due to kick in in December for a smidge more than 100/month, I figured I'd use it as happy metal fun money.
  2. Juliegrace Brufke is a less talented writer than the remedial English Juco students I used to warp.
  3. Dammit, I TOLD them if we let you in, you'd start bragging about what you know.
  4. When I was a teen, and all my younger cousins would come over, the adults would ask me to go out and watch them. So I'd take a baseball and a handful of pennies, and say, "Whoever brings me back the ball, gets a penny. I don't mean whoever gets to it first, I mean whoever BRINGS IT BACK." They'd get whooped to a frenzy over a few pennies. At first, I'd heave it out there. Rookie mistake-- the fastest ones would dart out, grab it, then swing out around the fat ones, who'd start to give up. Then I learned to drop it in the middle of the pack. Damn, those little fat kids would fight.
  5. Same here except no one would believe I'd been sired by a bow-tied munchkin.
  6. I sought ee waz goeeng to ave a cool Franch ac-sont.
  7. Hit my 100-day streak on Duolingo yesterday, Scottish Gaelic everyday, plus a couple days poking around Irish when I got bored. I feel like I'm maybe at the 102 level in a language class, if I'd paid attention in a language class instead of drawing cartoons. I don't try to win the Duolingo leaderboard game, I just crank it out rock-solid 4 or 5 lessons a day. NEAT THINGS ABOUT SCOTTISH GAELIC: I see lots of Norse, French, and Latin vocabulary hiding in there, similar to English. No surprise given the influences. Mostly the same as Irish, with some spelling differences and meaning shifts-- the Scottish word "to speak" comes off as "to brawl" in Irish. "Bod ort" (sounds like Bo Torsht) means "a dick on you." Can be used like "Fuck it," or maybe literally. "Tha mo thon goirt" (Ha mo hohn gorshch) is "my ass is sore." Apparently there's some Pictish influence. Supposedly the Picts spoke a language more closely related to Welsh, and Picts lived everywhere the Scotti settled when they came over from Ireland and they boinked and had bebbies. The Scottish verb system is simpler than the Irish one, and I am told (by people in Youtube videos) that the original Irish system altered in Scottish to match up with a Welsh-like one thanks to these Picts. (Though why it couldn't have come from the Similar-to-Welsh extinct Cumbrian language, spoken in SW Scotland in the Kingdom of Strathclyde, I know not.) I mentioned that I sometimes snuck over to Irish Duolingo. Mostly able to puzzle it out, probably mostly because I'm just a language nerd rather than any pan-Celtic comprehension. The vibe of the two courses is different: the Irish speakers sound like humorless schoolteachers trying to enforce discipline, while the Scottish ones sound happy to see you and they're pouring you a drink. Only a handful of contributors to each course, but that's how it struck me. SCOTTISH GAELIC IN MY LIFE NOW: As stated before, I speak it with my dog, and work on Duolingo in our den with my wife playing whatever game she's into. I will shout the answers either in Gaelic, or my best Rob Roy rendition of English. As a result, my wife now knows enough to shout out some answers first if I get slack. There is a subculture here of people who know a little, and I have drawn them out with artwork inscribed with Gaelic phrases. Then we yell it back and forth like savages. Picked up some commissions from the bagpiper crowd. But the main thing it's fun.
  8. Well thank ye kindly for the friendly thoughts. I am descended from Denisovan Bama stock, but did indeed spend 5 years officially enrolled at UT, plus there are various dead bodies in the Texas dust related to me. (Not that you can prove anything in court.) I have gotten speeding tickets in backroad Texas towns that "official" Texans don't know exist. So sign me up for Border Jumper status, or Blockade Runner if needed. Now @Bama Chick, she's the distilled spirit of the Tide. She will jump down the bleachers to kick your ass, and you probably deserved it.
  9. I submit the normative ethical framework of Scotch-Irishism: live as shock troops for elites who despise you, settle forcibly on former lands of various people with whom you had no quarrel, and for entertainment, distill fiery liquids and attack people who look at you.
  10. Always cracked me up that a dude with a funny Luxembourg last name stood up on his hind legs and started deciding how to keep Britain pure. Luxembourg. That's one step from being a Fat Belgian Bastard.
  11. Give it all back to the Ottomans and ask them to try again.
  12. It's too bad that history didn't twist just a little where somehow Mike Leach ended up as an Alabama Senator. He'd be GOP, possibly a Covid denier, and yes he'd shut down all the Military promotions too. But it wouldn't be about abortion, it'd be because he read some odd 1797 law that guaranteed the construction of navigable canals to every single county, and Leach would demand they be dug, to the exact specifications of the law. "They say I'm blocking promotions. OK? Like that is BULLSHIT. Yeah I said BULLSHIT. They could vote on every promotion if they weren't afraid to WORK, but their fat little mistresses say 'Ooh, Senator Grubelflocker, you're TOO IMPORTANT to work.' I guess we think we're just a little too good to follow canal law. Yeah. We're just a little too good to do it right. Well you know what I think? I think this is like when Jean Lafitte was "trapped" up a bayou and the British knew they had him, had that old pirate trapped. And when they got enough troops together, they went up in there to catch him, and he was GONE. Dug a canal and GONE, A CANAL."
  13. Oh this is easy. America was great before them greasy longhair hippy types started askin questions. Westerns were literally black and white. There'd be one or two good Indians, for nuance, see, and they'd help the cowboys shoot the rest. You could understand what the singer was saying, not like this hippety-hop bull-hockey. You didn't need a healthcare plan because Doc Sanders would come over at 3 AM and you could pay him with a peck of crabapples. And the Colts were in Baltimore. THEY HADN'T LEFT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
  14. Rookie mistake. Then Baby Non-Hitler grows up instead, takes control of nearly-identical Nazi party, starts WW2, and wins because he's not a one-nut crazy drug-addict. Or maybe he is, but just better at it.
  15. Justin Bieber doesn't know where he himself is. Let's let him figure that out first, then we can move on to those South American countries like Gaza, Spain, and Israel.
  16. I think those same things when I walk through a crowd of people now.
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