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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. At first I didn't think he was really this tough, but then I saw the heels on his boots. Now I know he is a force to be reckoned with.
  2. Aw man. Things would take twelve years to heat up in the oven, while you're sitting there on the rattan sofa behind the folding metal tray watching one more Bactine commercial then it'll finally be time for Kolchak: The Night Stalker, and you've already got that sticky plastic glass full of Kool-Aid. And those mashed potatoes with the crispy brown edges where they were trapped between two layers of metal, and some of the peas wrinkled up for the same reason, and I mean DAMN it was better than school cafeteria food.
  3. I was like wait wut? Maybe not NFL but still pro football attached to colleges.
  4. Shh. We tall good-looking men running artisanal businesses in small towns need Hallmark to keep sending us burnt-out-but-well-heeled professional women to finance our secret meth operations.
  5. I remember watching that game in a bar. At some point both teams were sort of wallowing around mid-field. I blurted out "What the HELL am I watching?" Big Dude next to me said "You are watching BAD FOOTBALL." I think he's brought that same skill to his new job.
  6. Flat Earthers, Qtards, FB FWD>FWD>FWD types, et alii As with most things that irritate my rational brethren, I find them entertaining in a zit-popping-video way.
  7. From looking at that manhunt map on Google and fiddling with the terrain settings, it's got a good bit of lumpiness and plenty of woods where fatass locals have probably never wandered around even behind their own houses. I live in similar terrain that even with 3,000+ people per square mile has the occasional coyotes who travel the stream beds and ridges. If a coyote can do it I bet a sneaky little stabby dude can too. Then you've got cops who think if they drive around a patch of woods that they've "seen" whatever's in there, and that's IF they aren't sitting on stakeout playing World of Tanks, like the tower guard probably was. Stabby Dude could have been ten feet away face down in some bushes and they'd never see him.
  8. Scottish Gaelic Cussin: Bod means dick. Pronounced sorta like "boat" but shorter sound. Maybe halfway between boat and butt. "Bod ort" "A dick on you." "Ithe bod" (EE-ha boat) "Eat dick."
  9. I have been told I can have all the australopithecus girlfriends I want, and to enjoy the cooking at their caves because that's where I'll be living.
  10. Roman Empire is a bit recent. Chez Canecutter we generally reenact Homo Sapiens woman getting chased around the cave by Neanderthal.
  11. Hmmm... Found on a "Private Island." Totally NOT dug up somewhere else on public land, then replanted and found on a private island.
  12. Best part was the 1980s action movie bad guy counting down the time. I noped out at the push-ups. Fake amputee guy had a good job if you like having random dudes quickly cinch up a tourniquet right next to your nads.
  13. EXACTLY what the arsonist would say.
  14. I'm gonna find that farmer's market, pull up a stool, and sit on that stool, play banjo, and stare at your house.
  15. Kinda getting a South Boston vibe from that voice and unusually precise enunciation. Local rednecks woulda just thrown a chunk of ice. Either way, The Internet will devour him.
  16. That was me. My bad, I meant to put a comma in it as in "Fuck! Texas!" just to express my joy at seeing a fellow Surlster, plus I wanted to hug you and yore purty wife. Mmmm-hmmmmmmm.
  17. (Messed up and double-posted so I thought I'd turn lemons into lemonade by posting DBT songs that would work better for Alabama than "Dixieland Delight.") You too can play: Post a random DBT song. It will be better than any random song by Alabama.
  18. Agree on a song-vs-song basis. Practically speaking, if you played "Boys from Alabama" in a stadium, me, you, and our cool friends would like it, and the rest of the stadium would stare slack-jawed at the monitor. Not to mention DBTs announcements in concerts that they aren't fans of either Alabama or Auburn because they hate football. I saw a crowd of Alabamians going ape-shit at a DBT show but dunno how many of them were football fans either.
  19. I fear no duck, dog, or dack. Let's play Jason Aldean during the melee so it'll fit this thread's title.
  20. Dammee, Sirrah, that is slander and I must have satisfaction. Folding chairs at dawn.
  21. 5 seconds into that video I had the sudden vision of tossing Nick Fuentes down a fire escape. I realize he'd only fall 10' at a time, but I am a methodical worker.
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