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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. You were using the smooth sarcasm. Gotta use the chunky sarcasm.
  2. We can't all afford a mandolin. Well, actually we can, but it's more fun to buy beer.
  3. ...and rolling through a stop sign without even looking up from the phone.
  4. Look on the bright side-- if there was ever anybody you wanted to piss on, now is your shot. And if they object, they're the heartless bastard making fun of a cancer patient.
  5. Then there were those times I had my mom buy root beer because my sisters couldn't stand it. I didn't much like it either, but at least I had something to drink.
  6. I did the one plate one cup one spoon thing but trashed all the other dishes in the sunk. Accidentally threw out dishes that others had messed up but that belonged to the clean roommate, but she forgave me. Lots of the roommates and their drugbuddies were mooching addicts who would descend like beer-drinking locusts on the fridge all the while complaining if what they were cadging for free wasn't up to their standards. I started buying warm beer and keeping it in my locked room. Every now and then I'd slip a few bottles into the fridge's crisper tray under vegetables, never got looked at.
  7. Stable CT scans. As for that possible clot, probably not a biggie. Until one day my head falls off.
  8. Somewhere in Thailand somebody is paying a midget good money to do that. Me I am enjoying my last cancer-not-getting worse day until I see the Doc tomorrow and she tells me what the CT scan yesterday said. They did call me this morning and send me in for an ultrasound because I've maybe got a blood clot in my neck. So it looked on the CT scan. Ultrasound tech seemed real surprised that I was in no pain. I wouldn't be surprised if some rogue kidney cells set up a colony in my neck. Couple years ago we found out I was stage 4 when a kidney cell Seal Team 6 blew up a salivary gland in my jaw. Actually did me a favor, it served as the "check engine light" that got me hooked up with treatment. Main thing bugging me is that my Science Girl Wife will google everything and scare herself to death. I feel pretty detached. I still think I'll die when I interrupt somebody in a big-ass car's enjoyment of a Tik-Tok video.
  9. Send the Turkish colonizers of Anatolia back to Central Asia. Galatia for the Gauls.
  10. Yeah, a French dude I knew in Austin washed his clothes with old 20 centime coins (worth maybe 4 US cents?) because they were the same size as quarters. I suppose that flying back to France to get more of them ate up his profits.
  11. I think the main complaint with the men in the truck was that the Jews had let them in.
  12. Hey, he asked her to fuck him. And she fucked him alright.
  13. You'd expect better decisions from somebody who smokes cigarettes in 2023.
  14. Juan Manuel de Rosas has nothing to learn from us.
  15. I also heard early Alex Jones, on the radio in the late 90s. I honestly thought it was a bit, like an Evil Wrasslin character. I knew a girl who broke up with her boyfriend because the dude started parroting Jones. I was amazed that anybody thought he was real. I was also the same guy who took a job in College Station not long after. All those stories couldn't be real, can they?
  16. Somebody's got to secure the hill settlements.
  17. They already tried the stand-on-the-box thing and people just mocked him.
  18. They probably limited it to Real Atlanta, and not North Georgia Sprawl That People Call Atlanta.
  19. Damn. That was current when I was burning myself on my Creepy Crawlers Thingmaker oven.
  20. If McHenry was a bad-ass short guy like Attila the Hun he would have already slashed the throats of his rivals and led his cavalry to lay waste to Toronto.
  21. I think we missed out by not getting Jim Jordan. Look at him. He is obviously an immortal flatboat crewman from the 1840s, floating goods down to New Orleans, drinking his wages in bordellos, then clumping back up the Devil's Backbone aka the Natchez Trace. Think what we could learn about America from such a man. He probably knew Andrew Jackson. He may have seen Andrew Jackson rape a young lieutenant. Given how much time has passed, he might have told us about it.
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