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Dnaguy

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Dnaguy

  1. Yep. {Texting unless indicated otherwise} Her: Are you at HEB. Me: Yes. Her: I need hearts of palm. Me: What? Her: Yeah for the salad. Me: Okayyyyy [Use HEB app to find aisle] [Walk to aisle] Me: How much do you need? ------------ Me: [adds question mark to previous text] ------------- Me: ?????????? -------------- Me: [calls her phone] Her: [goes to voicemail] {30 minutes later} Her: Did you call? Me: Yeah, NM I'm leaving the store Her: Did you get the hearts of palm? Me: Yes Her: How much? Me: 1 jar Her: I needed at least 2. Why didn't you get more? 😡
  2. Yeah, well, cast me in carbonate and condemn me to death. I'm told that that you can last up to a millennia in a sarlacc pit. I better start hydrating.
  3. I always thought a Hope Solo was also called a Double Beef’N cheddar.
  4. So is a unkept butthole referred to as a sea urchin?
  5. ABC fact checking Trump. Media outlets fucking never learn.
  6. Doing the hits: Drill baby drill Close the border Stop the invasion Coming from mental institutions They’re terrorists Deportations Whoo-wheeee!
  7. Ok. I thought I was either drunker than I should be or missing something.
  8. Why didn’t Tampa go for 2 after the touchdown?
  9. A true FAAFO for the religious right.
  10. Magneto was a holocaust survivor. Maganeto was famous for his holocaust denial. But unlike Magneto, Maganeto bent reality and not spoons. Think professor X’s telepathy meets Dr. strange’s ability to manipulate time and space.
  11. Colonel confederate. one of the lesser marvel universe characters. Had some traction in the Black Panther / Captain American crossover comics. He was ultimately rebranded / rebooted as Maganeto.
  12. Watching abc news on Hulu and Rancid Prebus is brutal
  13. Exactly. The Cunty Cancun Canadian Cuban cleaned his clock and he cried like cuck that his is.
  14. Bjork leaving is actually a win for A&M. How he has survived that Jimbo contract fiasco is beyond me.
  15. Are the illegal immigrants being launched over the border wall via trebuchet?
  16. AND putting TWO NFL games on tonight?! The globalist really have it in for Trump!
  17. No one is Sirhanded enough for the job
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