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Superhero

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Superhero

  1. Asian airline flight attendants prove that you can be gorgeous and great at your job at the same time. I think we set our expectations too low on US carriers
  2. People who stare down at their phones while walking. Seriously, walk a bit faster, get to where you want to go, then scroll to your heart’s delight. I was walking behind a woman the other night. I sweater god that she got within 1’ of a wall, looked up surprised, and then quickly maneuvered around it. My daughter and I were cracking up and pretended to do the same every time we walked past the same spot.
  3. But where are the titties? I know breastfeeding takes a toll on the titties, but c’mon man, try to fill in an A cup (and I’m not even a boob man).
  4. One more… When I was in primary school, I was invited to Natalie’s 11th birthday party. She got really sick last minute, and her mom had to apologize to all the parents who came to drop of their kids. I coulda swore she said they’d have a make up party in 2 weeks. So even though Natalie didn’t come to school for 2 weeks, I thought I’d show up at her door, dressed in a big orange plaid shirt, Michael Jackson pants and a leather studded bracelet. Her brother answered the door and said “Uhhh. Natalie’s still sick. We’ll let everyone know for sure when we’re going to have the make up party.” Good thing my dad didn’t drive away right after dropping me off, or it would be been even more awkward.
  5. My wife totally think it’s not funny when I text her this 👉👌👉👌👉👌
  6. One of the guys in my thermodynamics class ALWAYS fell asleep. It was after lunch so I understood. Midway through a lecture, the professor stopped and whispered to the rest of us pack up quietly and go. The guy woke up and everyone burst out laughing. I was on the receiving end of something similar. It was CE306 Statics and Dynamics in one of the giant rooms in Welch Hall. I usually sat in the first 5 rows and would fall asleep halfway through each lecture. One day, the professor asked my friend to wake me up and asked (in his heavy Russian accent) “Why do you even come to my class? You come in, you fall asleep, do you even learn anything?” I responded that “I take notes when I’m awake.” That’s the best I could come up with at the time. Still got an A in the class, so apparently I WAS able to learn some things in my sleep.
  7. Everyone probably knows by now. But I won’t be eating that.
  8. No they weren’t.
  9. Went shopping in the Taipei 101 building mall and the luxury watches were well represented. Saw a A Lange & Sohne Lange 1 in person for the first time. Too bad my CC limit isn’t high enough or else I would have bought 2. OTOH, I went to the Omega store and now want the Snoopy Speedmaster. More affordable at $10,400, but really can’t justify it with kids still needing to go to college.
  10. The Fliegers look massive because there is no bezel. I have a 7” wrist and my 42mm Laco looked ridiculous. I ended up selling it to my coworker who now wears it everyday.
  11. I had one of those corded electric mowers. Lasted 6 months before I hired a gardener.
  12. Dilute it down to 40% and you got yourself a vodka.
  13. Food in Taiwan can be really inexpensive. There’s a little breakfast place by my MIL’s house. 4 drinks, 4 breakfast items for less than $7. Lunch at a nice restaurant for 13 people. The lazy Susan in the middle of the table completely covered in amazing food for $230. The same meal would have cost easily $350 - $400 in the US. I could see myself living here for 6 months out of the year to stretch out my retirement dollars.
  14. In Taiwan visiting family and giving my wife instructions on how from her mom’s house to my parent’s place. I break out the subway map and start explaining: ”Okay, take the brown subway line south (look at the destination station to know you’re going in the right direction). At this station, get off and transfer to the red line, go north until you get this station. Once you leave the station, cross the street and make a right. My parents condo is right there ”Wait, I’m confused, why do I have to take it this direction?” ”Never mind. Hey M (my daughter), come over here and let me me show you.” My daughter, who always had a good sense of direction, understood right away.
  15. I’m 1/4 Japanese with the rest a mix of predominately Chinese and some European genes. But I gotta tell ya, I totally have a thing for Japanese women in their 40s and 50s. The way they carry themselves, the way they dress, the confidence, etc. Much more appealing than other Asian women.
  16. We’re in Taiwan visiting family and checking out the famous ShiLin night market. There are food carts, road side stands and hike in the walk restaurants serving all kinds of food. One of the carts was selling grilled corn, so I caught my daughter’s attention and started singing ”It’s corn! A big lump with knobs, it’s got the juice!” A woman walking by sang “It’s got the juice…” That brought a smile to my face that some in Taiwan knew about this obscure song on YouTube. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about.
  17. If you have extra change in your couch cushion, a MB EQS is an amazing ride. My coworker somehow got a 2-year lease at $500/month and took me for a ride when my car was in the shop The interior is amazing and the seat massage feature is a nice touch.
  18. Problem with 1-800 contacts is they’ll bombard you with emails and call you on the phone a few times to let you know your prescription is running out and you better order another 10 boxes.
  19. Almost like a Club Med. Except at a Club Med, the guy is wearing a speedo.
  20. What is this? The itty bitty titty committee?
  21. And I counter with Yamajesty Asiyan Ryleigh Krimsom Phoenix Madylin r/tragedeigh is hilarious.
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