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MaybeACoordinator

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Everything posted by MaybeACoordinator

  1. One time when I was admitted to rehab my counselor's diagnosis was "heavy alcohol abuse disorder, mild-to-moderate psychedelics abuse disorder, and mild-to-moderate obsession with the Houston Astros." I don't think she'd have put you down in that category with me.
  2. To comment, on ze beauty of ze woman, iz naturelle
  3. I don't know about that....Blair Cherry resigned after a 9-2 season that saw the Horns roll through the SWC at 6-0 and with the only losses being in the Cotton Bowl to Tennessee and 14-13 defeat at the hands of Bud Wilkinson's gooners. (longcat post follows)
  4. She is by no means an extreme hottie, but to "meh" her is Peak Shag.
  5. Of note: that adjustment came in the second year none of y'all want to give PK. Instead we'll have another new DC with "his" scheme to learn.
  6. I think it's dumb but definitely true. I think you would have better success if you just ran some vanilla scheme reasonably close to the previous DCs for a couple or three years until you got your guys in there and it would work better than they prevailing standard today.
  7. I am as ever hopeful, but as we cycle through Herman's shit, fool's gold recruits, we are going to continue on a downward trajectory, one that will likely be tremendously exacerbated when the hooplehead mob on here gets another HC's head on a spike. At this point the only possible way I see forward is for a thousands of our dumbfuck fans and boosters to lose interest in the program and then, in the shadows, we can truly rebuild. Our idiots make Auburn, Tennessee, and LSU fans and boosters look rational at this point. Meanwhile, carry on to Nebraska status. It will truly be amazing for a school that has every advantage Nebraska does not to get there, but our entitled fanbase and dumbass boosters have already brought us there. It's just a matter of how long we will stay where we are at this point.
  8. It's almost like it's been the same "new information" that afflicts every DC who has come to campus since Manny Diaz. At some point we have to accept that by sheer statistical probability, the problem is with our players and our program and not the DCs.
  9. His dad's like, "Don't worry son, you'll pull just as much ass at UT as the twins. They don't really care about football in Austin."
  10. Kyanka's "Lowtax" inspiration is quite a story himself. Tl;dr: 1. Twentysomething West Point dropout named Byron Looper gets himself elected tax assessor in a rural Tennessee county after legally changing his middle name to Lowtax. His campaign relied solely on negative reviews on his opponent. No debates, no doorknocking, no public appearances. 2. He immediately uses his office to rule over the county like a petty tyrant, raising assessments on all who won't contribute to his political campaigns. Allegedly impregnates a woman after coercing her into sex, and then forces her to appear in campaign ads in a subsequent campaign as his wife. Then uses his office to steal her house. 3. Got a little ahead of myself -- even though he's under indictment for all the crap he pulled as tax assessor, he runs against popular TN state rep Tommy Burks, who he has no chance of defeating fairly. 4. So, Lowtax assassinates him. Personally. Shot him in the head. Via a technicality, the Democrats could not field an opponent because the murder took place within 30 days of the election. 5. Burks's widow defeats him as a write-in candidate. Somehow Lowtax still got 1500 votes. 6. Lowtax sentenced to life in prison w/o parole. He died of heart disease in his 30s. Supposedly Kyanka almost worked for him as an intern. IIRC Kyanka attended Vanderbilt and Lowtax stories were all over the papers in Nashville at the time.
  11. He's good. Our players suck. Just watch that 70 yard sweep. PK calls the exact right play and slants two LBs toward the running lane. Brockemeyer executes the call to the best of his ability, but, completely unhindered by any blockers, gets beaten to the edge by about five yards by the Kansas RB. The thing is, the best of Brockemeyer's ability would be to crush it as an all-American MLB at a school like Trinity, not the University of Texas. A good linebacker, like Keenan Robinson or an Acho brother, snuffs it out for no gain. Someone like Derrick Johnson explodes the play four yards deep. But Brockemeyer? He tried, he really did, but he's slow as Whataburger at 2AM. I felt sorry for him giving his all as he chased that dude for 50 yards, swiping vainly at his jersey as dude got further and further away, before Brockemeyer finally fell over. His whole story is sad on many levels. A legacy effectively sent their special needs kid to us and their gifted and talented ones somewhere else.
  12. 100 percent chance all you scorched earth, tear the whole thing down zealots will demand the head of the coach who does what you want and loses 8 or 9 games his first year and maybe the same or worse the second. That is what it would take for this total rebuild you are prescribing. As old MENSA said, you can't just wave fairy dust over the players you inherit.
  13. I would ask the same of your tiresome ass. I played in a HS program that changed coaches and systems and we sucked even more than we would have with what little talent we had because every coaching change instantly renders every player out of position. "Oh, you think you know how to play linebacker, don't ya? Well you don't. Here's how you play linebacker." And so on at every position. And in college sports every coaching change brings in another transition class of recruits. Meaning dozens of JAGs taking up schollies. For fuck's sake, there are exactly two guys on this roster with obvious NFL talent. I think some is hidden -- Alfred Collins, for example. He was recruited to play one position and now he is wasted in PK's D taking up blockers when he should be caving in the edge in a four man front. And it's not just that our talent is kinda subpar. It's way, way subpar. See Luke Brockemeyer trying to set the edge on that 70 yard sweep. He diagnosed the play correctly and did his best but he's a linebacker who maaaayyyybeeee runs a 4.9. I felt sorry for him there -- he hustled all the way down the field hopelessly swiping at that dude's jersey, but he is just too slow. Dusty Renfro II, Electric Fuck You for thinking it's the coaches. We've got your dropped passes -- more on the WRs than the QBs -- on wide open routes schemed by the fucking coaches. We've got an LT incapable of handling a 220-pound edge guy, and nobody better behind him. We've got hippie Blake Gideon out there dropping game-sealing picks. The roster is a shitshow. And you know what? Barring some kind of portal miracle, next year it's going to be worse. And because "We're TEXAS" Sark will probably be fired, and we will have another transition class, WHILE HEADING INTO THE SEC, and if you think the mockery of your friends and co-workers now is bad, just wait until we go 2-8 in conference or some shit. Don't worry though, your enemies will lose interest after two or three years, maybe even start to pity you. And then I go and look at the resume of Lance Leipold. It's impressive. He dominated the shit out of everything at Wisconsin-Whitewater. Buffalo took a chance on him and his first season was mediocre. His second season was fucking horrific. 2-10. He needed both of those years to demonstrate how his system worked, and after that shit steadily improved until he got a chance at shitty p5 school, one that has now scared the beejesus out of one blueblood and defeated another. We would never hire a guy like him, and if we did, we would not tolerate a 2-10 season. We live in this bubble where we think we are entitled to greatness. We are not. We have to earn it like everyone else, and the flighty pussiness of some of y'all is embarrassing to me as a Texan and a man. I know Greenspoint gets a lot of shit for panicking early in ballgames and its justifiable. But you hysterical bitches are just as bad, if not worse, for wanting to pull the plug on coaching regimes before they can even begin to implement what needs to be done here.
  14. Eh, not really. So long as they are Death Squad type Mezkins they would be fine with them.
  15. I got to hang around some with Doug Dillard, the banjo player maybe most famous to normies for being in the "Darling Boys" on Andy Griffith but a legend in the bluegrass world. He used to get his banjos fixed by an ex-Outlaw MC biker from Tampa named "Moses" who had a luthier shop near Music Row where I spent way too much time in my college years imbibing, smoking, and snorting various substances...and on this night somebody had produced a bottle of mescal. That set Doug off into a reverie, memories of his upbringing in the Missouri Ozarks. As a kid, he put his name out there as a willing moonshine tester, and because he was already locally famous, the bootleggers took him up on it. Basically he got all the free moonshine he could guzzle by serving as living proof that each batch that came his way would not kill or blind you. The worm in the mescal reminded him of one old bootlegger who'd somehow made his way down in the Mexico and encountered mescal...On his return to the hills, he came up with a Mexican-inspired signature moonshine: he would sell no bottle that did not contain a small lizard.
  16. eh, those are tough games. Said "QB" was Frank Gore Jr. You build a defense around shutting down various modern offenses, none of which include the flying wedge or whatever it is when its QB run every play. I recall that Baylor game when they had that Lynx Hawthorne dude at QB and we had Swoopes which was an even match, pretty much. That game was like the Somme -- total trench warfare. And then Briles had that same squad and that same offense and took down a ten or eleven win UNC team that had a month to prepare for that primitive offense. So here I am making excuses for Traylor. But at least it's not after losing to UCONN, Navy, or Chad Morris's SMU squad (after a certain coach had been chirping about them all week in the media.)
  17. Wasn't he the one who was always wanting people to meet him IRL so they could fight, like in parking garages and shit, and none of these fights ever happened?
  18. No need -- all in the same year, a 1-9 season that saw us eke out our one win over Tulane,
  19. well, like I've been saying for five fucking years now...."oh he's too inexperienced..." "impressive resume, but we're Texas" ...blah blah blah. Fucking aggy or LSU will end up with him while we are on an endless treadmill of dudes who've "proven themselves" elsewhere. Our program lacks balls. We've been too scared to make the right hire because we were worried what aggy might say. Fuck that.
  20. It is one of the worst points in program history. No doubt. But the best way to maintain that is to keep recruiting transition classes and then blaming the current coaches for the failures of the previous ones.
  21. And no coaches will come here if you fire a respected guy in year one. But please do continue with y'all's irrational meltdown.
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