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Bull Horn

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Everything posted by Bull Horn

  1. Lucille by Kenny Rogers. Guy is in a bar in Toledo - depressing enough - trying to pick up what turns out to be a married woman. Then fears for his life when the gigantic husband walks into the bar and interrupts his attempt to pick up some strange. Ends his night suffering from erectile dysfunction.
  2. 1690 - Massachusetts issues the first paper money in the American colonies. 1913 - The Sixteenth Amendment to the Constitution was ratified, granting Congress the authority to levy income taxes. 1959 - Rock and roll artists Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and J. P. “The Big Bopper” Richardson were killed in a plane crash near Clear Lake, Iowa, together with pilot Roger Peterson. 1995 - Astronaut Eileen Collins became the first woman to pilot a space shuttle, the Discovery.
  3. Fighting James Deans (preserves ties to rebel mascot) Rhinos (always thought that would be a cool animal mascot) Fleas (pretty fearsome - responsible for the plague) Phantasms (alliteration) Freebirds (only if Freebird becomes the alma mater and is played at all school events and functions) Firestarters
  4. You know, this wine is not bad...it’s not good, either...
  5. Ellen: What are you looking at? Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer...
  6. “There is no normal life, Wyatt. There’s just life. Now get on with it.” -Doc Holliday, Tombstone
  7. This hurts but a helluva year, Stros.
  8. 1) Break out the orange jerseys for tonight to shake off the MMP malaise and get our mojo back. 2) Astros, let your nuts hang. 3) ???? 4) PROFIT!!!
  9. All right, put in the bullpen dregs, get on the damn plane and save your powder for Thursday. We’re gonna need it.
  10. Bull Horn

    Wisconsin

    Big 10 football - it just means bore.
  11. I thought moonshine aggy was the preferred nomenclature.
  12. Thought this would be a thread about Jason Garrett and Cowboys fans.
  13. Well, glad this team isn’t peaking too soon. But enough of this horrible baseball, please.
  14. Taking solace in the fact we lost a series to the White Sox in August 2017 that was also a kick in the nads. I hate the White Sox.
  15. The Cajun tenders at Krispy Krunchy Chicken are quite tasty. Plus you can get a Lotto ticket and 44 oz. fountain drink while you’re there at the gas station.
  16. There’s no normal life, Wyatt. There’s just life. Get on with it.
  17. Tyler White to the bullpen phone, please - Tyler White. Not much difference between he and Valdez on the mound, and let’s hope we don’t see Valdez again this year.
  18. On July 4, 1776, two days after after voting for independence, the Continental Congress formally approved the Declaration of Independence after debating and revising the wording. TLDR: Suck it, King George.
  19. A: You can never go too far. B: If I'm gonna get busted, it is not gonna be by a guy like that.
  20. Josh James, ladies and gentlemen, Josh James. Was gonna say send his ass to Round Rock or Corpus, but fuck that - no need for Express and Hooks fans to suffer too. Send him to A ball or just have him pitch at the spring training complex to mannequins.
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