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Disco Strangler

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Everything posted by Disco Strangler

  1. Admitted to the hospital FOR a raging hard-on? Or, Admitted to the hospital WITH a raging hard-on?
  2. Huffines looks like the kind of grandpa that wears open robes and lets his balls hang out of his boxer shorts. He’s the old asshole at the gym who blow dries his nuts in the locker room using the communal hair drier. Then, just lurks around nekkid for another 10 minutes in some freaky alpha power move.
  3. If hate was a super power, Huffines would be Thanos.
  4. Local, so have tickets every year. Left at halftime. Crowd was 85% inbred Sooners. Constant horns down every time the “fan cam” showed the OU crowd. They are obsessed with us.
  5. An asskicking started this lard ass super villain’s origin story. Maybe his wife beating his ass will conclude it https://www.thisamericanlife.org/670/beware-the-jabberwock
  6. Tell me your dick doesn’t work without telling me your dick doesn’t work.
  7. Somebody needs to check on Randolph Duke. That dude was born for moments like this. Nevermind . . . . found him.
  8. Let's start monetizing these sonic gems: Shaped Dressed Man - end credit of Kingsman 5: He/Him/They TV Dinner - Swanson's add scroll on Surlyhorns.com Pearl Necklace - Zales regional ad buy (Houston area) Jesus Just Left Chicago - Illinois Satanic Temple recruiting video Mexican Blackbird - ???
  9. Indians on a remote reservation in Oklahoma asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild? Since he was a Chief in modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the Winter was going to be like. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the Winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, ‘Is the coming Winter going to be cold?’ ‘It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,’ the meteorologist at the weather service responded. So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. ‘Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold Winter?’ ‘Yes,’ the man at National Weather Service again replied, ‘it’s going to be a very cold Winter.’ The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later, the Chief called the National Weather Service again. ‘Are you absolutely sure that the Winter is going to be very cold?’ ‘Absolutely,’ the man replied. ‘It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest Winters we’ve ever seen.’ ‘How can you be so sure?’ the Chief asked. The weatherman replied, ‘The Indians are collecting a shitload of firewood'.
  10. Bad form to tag on one’s prior post, but Gym Jordan was the loudest seditionist at the podium today, so I predict this quote is his work.
  11. Unnamed politician’s text to Meadows on Jan. 7: “Yesterday was a terrible day. We tried everything we could in our objection to the six states. I’m sorry nothing worked.” Bets on who this is? Whoever is complaining the loudest about the committee’s work tomorrow is the prime suspect. Betting on Gosar, but hoping it’s Cruz.
  12. Thomas is a self-hating and fairly ignorant asshole. He would reverse Loving if given the chance even though he is married to a white woman.
  13. An alien watching this game from space would thin Schooler is Michael Jordan level dominant. B
  14. Abbot is so concerned about books in schools turning the kids onto gay sex, that he has turned a blind eye to dangers available to the kids from the newspaper.
  15. Question - pretend Gomert runs and actually wins Texas AG and sends Paxton packin' (yes - I should be a political consultant), is Texas better off or worse off than they are now? Pros: Paxton gone, Gomert not going to embarrass Texas in Congress, Gomert probably gets Trump's backing (Paxton loses not only Trump pardon, but also Trump endorsement) Cons: Gomert's seat likely filled with some East Texas dipshit, Gomert continues to file similar ridiculous lawsuits as Paxton did
  16. 1, x, 2 alabaster skin, in the days before sunscreen? Renaissance master . . . Of deception.
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