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Chooky

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Everything posted by Chooky

  1. Too late, Ron, you doink. Lots of people tried to tell you that you can't duck your way through the primary without contesting the orange orb godking. It's too late, Elva.
  2. What a badass, almost mythical figure.
  3. Not for the internet's hypothetical heroes. They would've done more.
  4. He'll do all of that but he won't say "fuck you." He'll post a picture of a turd or something and then awkwardly post nine crowbarred jokes where either "schwing" or "a sphincter says what" is the punchline to each joke. And when nobody but his direct minions laugh, he'll convince himself that he's too abstract and deep to be understood. Then he'll fire one of his minions out of misdirected resentment that twitter didn't think his jokes were fire.
  5. By a cock?
  6. Mario Cristobal saved the day for all head coach fuckery last Saturday. And his name eases into way more nicknames. Mario Gurglesballs. Neal Cristobal. Itsa Me Mario.
  7. That happened? Loved that guy as a player. Sounds like i now like him even more as a person.
  8. Jason Whitlock is fat on the inside. His soul is fat. But also he's fat in the regular way of just being fat as shit. His once manatee level of fat has dried up into an old fat lady kind of fat. His fat is transcendent in various forms of fat, fatness that plays two sides of the coin. He's the travis hunter version of fat. But seriously, he's rotund.
  9. Almonds are pretty overrated.
  10. It's been awhile since I've posted there. Still don't know what that forum has to do with victimhood. Either way, exhilarating to know you follow me so closely. Who are you?
  11. You managed to juice squeeze some victimhood out of a throwaway clip. Bravo.
  12. Those pants should be an additional felony.
  13. We should probably forfeit the season and concentrate on getting the computer science department shored up.
  14. Because I reside in Texas, my reaction to reading any good news about THC is to make that Mitch McConnell freeze face.
  15. Taking a choreographed drink of beer is Texas Tough. And Ted Cruz is Texas Tough because i saw a sticker that said that on it.
  16. Off topic, but rudy giuliani farted next to Jenna Ellis in Michigan.
  17. I bet "schwing" still has a high comedy hit rate around Elon.
  18. MTG is an unintentional irony factory.
  19. Somewhere, out there, there's an even bigger ball of twine than the one in Cawker City. There has to be.
  20. But the YouTuber has energy and cute David Dobrik/young Logan Paul style edits. And he'll watch an athletic play and the video will pause and he'll say something like "What!?! Broken ankles, y'all! Let's goooo!"
  21. He reminds me of Cooper Kupp, Jason Sehorn, Raymond Berry and exactly 92.8% of the population in Vermont.
  22. I don't want MIA to rape this guy. But if it happens I'll understand it.
  23. Whichever one can beat the Orange Streak in a foot race will get a Torchy's gift card. Whoever comes in last, though, will have to stand directly underneath a jetpack guy as he launches. You know, in a fun type of humiliation ritual. It's all good fun.
  24. Would it be a tad gauche to inform his family of their log stacking credentials?
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