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Scheiss Meister

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Scheiss Meister

  1. From an article I read, Larry Brown saw Shaq playing pick-up basketball with soldiers at a base in Germany, where Shaq's dad was stationed. Shaq was dominating the soldiers, and so huge that Brown thought he was a soldier, too. When he asked Shaq how old he was after the game ended, Shaq told Brown that he was in eighth grade. Brown asked to see Sgt. O'Neal and started recruiting Shaq for LSU right then and there. Penders may have offered, but, from what I've read, Shaq was a lock to LSU early.
  2. With Nerf guns in plain sight.
  3. I always figured that Doomlet got it from you.
  4. Maybe they disappear from the plane on the way there. You know, "Dammit, where did they go?" "I don't know. They were in their seats a minute ago, then they just vanished."
  5. Should be prairie dog heads. "Hurry up! I'm prairie dogging back here!"
  6. Y'all can just go ahead and neg me to Bolivia, please.
  7. That's what the horn is for. I have busted up a few street conventions by just staying on the horn and creeping right up to the offenders. It's entertaining as hell.
  8. No Somerville Yeguas? I am disappoint. I once attended a game between the Center Roughriders and the Coldspring Trojans. Obvious comments and bad jokes were bandied about all game.
  9. Very sorry to hear that. Hopefully he brings the success rate up to 13%.
  10. RIP, Coach Gus. Thank you for the baseball memories.
  11. Team asteroid. "Shoot them. Shoot them both."
  12. Happy 2023, assholes.
  13. Cue the Jon Lovitz SNL skits: "Yeah, that's the ticket!"
  14. Bolded and underlined. It's the home of aggy. Damn near everyone involved in county government is aggy. Why would you expect professional behavior?
  15. ^^^^^ Two-fer
  16. Merry Christmas to all of you reprobates and hooligans. Peace and joy to you and all of your families.
  17. That's what I imagine Sawney Bean's family looking like.
  18. Thank you!
  19. Excuse me?! I think you're a little off on that last one.
  20. Like Charlie Brown, The Grinch, and Rudolph, this story is a holiday must. Kudos, @Beau Vine.
  21. Well done, ladies. You earned it.
  22. Man, there's nothing like the sound of a good military band. That was nothing like the sound of a good military band.
  23. Poor guy. I hope he gets over his crud quickly. Being a sick kid at Christmastime sucks, even more than having a sick kid at Christmastime does.
  24. I wouldn't be surprised one bit to find out that we have been quietly training Patriot operators and maintenance personnel for some time. I sure hope that we have been doing so. Logistics aside, giving Ukraine Patriots seems like a big jump. Is it too much to hope that ATACMS are not far behind?
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