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Scheiss Meister

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Scheiss Meister

  1. I bet 97% of men would agree that she's quite rude.
  2. Well hell, if the sheriff doesn't have to follow the law, why should anyone else?
  3. I'll bet he's got half a mind to sue whoever shot him.
  4. The M-60s that we replaced with the Abrams are the same generation as the T-72s Russia is using, and certainly are less capable than the updated T-72s, since there have been no improvements to the M-60 in 30 years. Their profile is much taller than the tanks in use in Ukraine, the armor is less capable, the main gun is inferior, and the hydraulic fluid in the M-60 is highly flammable. Most other tanks use less flammable hydraulic fluid. The M-60's day is very long past. Ukraine doesn't need a step back in capability.
  5. That's eight stupidity stripes. Anyone in that long won't be able to bend their arms in their dress uniform.
  6. ... or The Firm...
  7. Oops. Forgot. Close, but it was Dale Brown Shit. And I'm not even drunk.
  8. From an article I read, Larry Brown saw Shaq playing pick-up basketball with soldiers at a base in Germany, where Shaq's dad was stationed. Shaq was dominating the soldiers, and so huge that Brown thought he was a soldier, too. When he asked Shaq how old he was after the game ended, Shaq told Brown that he was in eighth grade. Brown asked to see Sgt. O'Neal and started recruiting Shaq for LSU right then and there. Penders may have offered, but, from what I've read, Shaq was a lock to LSU early.
  9. With Nerf guns in plain sight.
  10. I always figured that Doomlet got it from you.
  11. Maybe they disappear from the plane on the way there. You know, "Dammit, where did they go?" "I don't know. They were in their seats a minute ago, then they just vanished."
  12. Should be prairie dog heads. "Hurry up! I'm prairie dogging back here!"
  13. Y'all can just go ahead and neg me to Bolivia, please.
  14. That's what the horn is for. I have busted up a few street conventions by just staying on the horn and creeping right up to the offenders. It's entertaining as hell.
  15. No Somerville Yeguas? I am disappoint. I once attended a game between the Center Roughriders and the Coldspring Trojans. Obvious comments and bad jokes were bandied about all game.
  16. Very sorry to hear that. Hopefully he brings the success rate up to 13%.
  17. RIP, Coach Gus. Thank you for the baseball memories.
  18. Team asteroid. "Shoot them. Shoot them both."
  19. Happy 2023, assholes.
  20. Cue the Jon Lovitz SNL skits: "Yeah, that's the ticket!"
  21. Bolded and underlined. It's the home of aggy. Damn near everyone involved in county government is aggy. Why would you expect professional behavior?
  22. ^^^^^ Two-fer
  23. Merry Christmas to all of you reprobates and hooligans. Peace and joy to you and all of your families.
  24. That's what I imagine Sawney Bean's family looking like.
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