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Tex Long

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Everything posted by Tex Long

  1. When I was 10, my uncle took me to the OU game. We lost, but I had a great time, and afterward he gave me $5 to spend on the Midway. It was a lot of money for the times - gas was $0.20 a gallon and Dr. Peppers were five cents and came in an eight-ounce bottle. He gave me the money in change, quarters for one pocket, and nickels and dimes for the other. He told me not to take more than one coin out at a time, and when I complained about so many coins, he said that it was because if I took a bill or even a handful of coins out, a man would approach me, show me a card trick or two, and then offer to bet he could make the Jack of Hearts jump out of the deck and spit cider in my ear. He told me that if I took that bet, I would be standing there with cider running down the side of my neck and people would be laughing at me for making a bet with a man from Oklahoma. I think he was probably correct, and I have always been leery of the Jack of Hearts in any setting or circumstance.
  2. Definitely not about the money. It seems that he and Milwee couldn't agree on whether to be "QB Co-coach" or "Co-QB Coach".
  3. My experiences with documents that contain both "fully guaranteed" and "millions of dollars" leads me to suspect that events may not turn out to be what some people likely expect.
  4. Can't be seen too often.
  5. Better - pretty much has to be. Worse - completely unimaginable.
  6. The last four games are the actual do-or-die ones. Lose to tOSU in August, not the end of the world, but lose to anyone those last four, and you go home. Why only one? Pitch back early to the trailing RB/WR, run by the defenders and be wide open ten yards down field... Twice a game, minimum 15-16 games, gotta be looking at 30 receptions easily.
  7. ... as long as he was faster than the opponents' DL.
  8. Five years... Is this an all-time necrobump?
  9. Tex Long

    Getting old sucks

    Barely read? Fuck that. I'd kill to be able to see the screen at all, let alone read words and numbers on it. Between 20/300, astigmatism, wet AMD, and cataract surgery, I'm just happy when I can tell which plate has the bacon and which has the toast.
  10. Quite a few years of foreign traveling, me. Any time I was asked if I were American (occasionally Canadian or German), I pretty much always responded with "I'm from Texas". That typically led to either "Bang! Howdy partner!" or "But Texas is part of America, no?" In the latter case, I just said "We like to let them to think so, but we're really separate..."
  11. More of a Holy Fuck than a Holy Shit... imo.
  12. Whorns talk about the 2024 game, but they never mention the truth. Truth: tu finished the game in next to last place, while the Fightin' Texum aggys wound up in Second Place! Hard Truth: aggy D 7, tu D ZERO! Whorns got shut the f*ck OUT. Advantage aggy, Whoop!
  13. We don't need to feature QB running, but we do need the threat to be taken seriously. That means at least one more player on D who can't concentrate on a runner or receiver because the QB will run right by him if he does. That needs to happen early, although not necessarily often. Not like we need to resurrect Split-T option calls from the Wishbone graveyard on the reg, but we sure as hell want to make opponents commit that one extra guy to Arch, even if we only run it once or twice. As far as the season, the big trophy goes to the team that can do what it takes to win the last four or five games in a row... whatever it takes.
  14. With all due respect, you are correct.
  15. Baxter or Clark aside - and, yes, an elite RB mighta pushed us over the edge - I think the real problem was having opponents able to show zero respect for the QB to do anything other than hand off or pitch/pass the ball, and to pay relatively little attention to the deep ball. Not a Mack issue these days, but if Arch continues to be who he showed us he is last season, our offense is going to be 10 to 14 points a game better. I'm not sure even Mack could find a way to fuck that up.
  16. Old friend - in every way - a guy with enormous amounts of cashola in hand, once told me that the second-best job he ever had was Doorman at a high-rolling Atlantic City hotel. He knew all the big shots' names, always greeted them effusively and treated their "nieces" with great respect.
  17. What was it Franzese said? "Treat People Right," I believe. Valet story seems like a lose-lose on that front. No Archmania, either.
  18. Most Surly recognize the need to remember the past for purposes of avoiding repetition of it. There is no joy in the remembrance.
  19. A fine epitaph for Mack. I'd pitch in on the stone.
  20. The interview is as good a showing as I've ever seen from any coach. It's also a look at one of our great shows, from Third and Longhorn. If you've seen both this and any of their previous shows you already know this. If you haven't, you need to do so immediately. As a recovering Sark-hater, I'm gruntled to say that one of the outstanding things I see in him now is his willingness to own his fuckups, and learn from them. HOOK'EM
  21. Because it starts with "Awesome" instead of "What the fuck is Seven-win Steve doing here? Is he even a member of Mensa?"
  22. Fuck "on-campus". He'd never even been to Austin, and thought he would be in a larger version of Lubbock. I think we have Saban to thank for the hire, ultimately. Probably on both ends.
  23. Motto material, yo. Surly's Arent' Gulible
  24. You're working out unresolved issues relating to anal with your wife. No worries, though, Surly can almost certainly help you with that.
  25. Car manufacturers should have a volume control / tone selector for the horn, from "polite" to roadrage and baby-fart to 2x-cop-siren
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