Fuck that shit. You be awake whenever, however, and whyever you want.
Making a small assumption, I'll be 81 in a few weeks, and I guarantee you I have the same feelings as you - at least similar, anyway.
Sometimes I get scared about dying, even though I am 99.999999999 percent certain that the "I" who is typing these words is NOT part of my body, and that in fact the reverse is true, the body is a part of the "I". Then I meditate about it, and I find out that it's not the death of my body that really bothers me, it's that I'm not done yet... there are things I feel I need to do, people I need to say "I love you" to, just one more time.
Mom always said "You in-box won't be empty the day you die, so don't worry about it."
Like these other guys hereabouts, I'm there for you if you need to talk - or type, or whatever. PM me of you want.
Oh, and by the way, the results of Quantum Physics are correct about the fact: everything in Universe is connected to everthing else. Always has been, is now, always will be. Feel alone? You're not.