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Tex Long

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Everything posted by Tex Long

  1. Whose job is it, then? Regardless, you'd think the fucker would be familiar enough with the road, which he presumably drives ten times a week, to refrain from driving into the water. Apparently you'd be wrong, though.
  2. Too much information. On another issue, I'm fairly certain I've never had a full massage while other than sky-clad. I'm also fairly certain I've never actually commanded my penis to erect itself... not successfully, at least.
  3. Where was the flood gauge, back where he went in? Fucking highway department. I've been saved twice by seeing a flood gauge showing 3 or 4 feet of water at a low crossing.
  4. Let me know if they're playing in Van Horn.
  5. Adductors upper attachment is pretty deep in the growin' area. Nothing short of a porno thong gonna give the masseur - or masseuse - access. Wouldn't be a problem, but who among us actually owns one?
  6. Not impressed. If he could raise the Hawg Blanket, different story.
  7. All 48 hours of it? At the rate he's trashing his life, one eyeblink and you miss it. No gloss needed,
  8. Well... I never said it aloud, but when comparing choices of two evils, it definitely has occurred to me.
  9. No shit, my first thought was "Holy shit, somebody's making plastic-coated claymores!"
  10. There's a reason for the phrase "shitty end of the stick"...
  11. Of course taping is going to limit mobility. I think that's the point, right. Tape has no compressional strength to speak of, but it has plenty in tension, and adhering it to the structure provides at least some protection from it being pulled apart. I'm surprised that protection is not significant. From your understanding, it seems that taping ankles is a waste of time and money. Someone should let the schools know, and put a stop to it.
  12. Sounds like something a scumbag lawyer would say.
  13. Not a doctor - well, not of medicine - but I am an engineer. I'm having problem differentiating biomechanics from mechanics in general. Unless athletic tape has changed drastically in adhesive and shear strength since days of yore, it seems unlikely that the effectiveness of taping would have little effect. Of course, we were taped directly on the skin, rather than over socks and even shoes, so that likely factors in. At least, we gained an appreciation for pains encountered by the girls when shaving legs - as far as up as the tape would be going up. This. This seems to be true.
  14. Tex Long

    Getting old sucks

    Life just isn't fair. When my wife bought a Magic Wand vibrator, the family said she was just a sexy kitten wanting to have a little bit of naughty fun. But they called me a fucking pervert when I bought a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 latex doll with inflatable DDD cups, 6 speed self-lubricating pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasmic moaning and screaming Bluetooth surround sound system. I probably should have posted this in Lame Jokes, but I think it's technically more Limp than Lame.
  15. Assuming Byrne is responsible for De Boer... he def needs some other topic of conversation making noise. He's prolly just getting ahead of spring practice.
  16. Sasquatch won't hurt you if you don't get too close, or if you follow them into the caves. They're actually only about four feet tall and wearing the furry suit to scare you off. They don't like to be photographed, though, so definitely don't use a flash.
  17. Tex Long

    Getting old sucks

    I had a camera and various electronics shoved down the gullet about 20 years back. According to the quacks, you aren't napping, you're mostly semi-awake and cooperating, but memory storage is turned off. The waking up part is the drugs wearing off and you start remembering the last few minutes. I think that was the gist of it, but my memory is hazy on that...
  18. Slide? Nah, m8, chuck. Ya chuck in 'er dumpah.
  19. Roger that. It's at least 1,000,000 to 1 - at least, I'd guess. I'd buy a $10 ticket if Vegas posted that, but if they post anything at all it'll be a lot less and not worth tossing a penny at.
  20. Sure, why not?
  21. One of a huge number of reasons I don't give even an imaginary fuck about NBA.
  22. Tell me you're at least a little weak on analogy without telling me you're at least a little weak on analogy. Until he announces he's not going, it's still possible. But unless SMU offers him, say, triple or more salary - say 8 to 10 megabucks - he ain't going. Shit, he's making around 3 at Texas, which is (probably) more than Lashlee makes, already. If SMU were to go there, and throw in the giant pot of gold it'll take to buy the coaches and the players needed, he'd be crazy to turn it down. I don't think it's gonna happen. In fact, I'm pretty goddamn sure it's not... but the probability, while vanishingly small, is non-zero.
  23. I'm married to a porn star.
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