A parable. My 2nd AA meeting ever I was in a run-down building on the “wrong” side of the tracks. At first glance, people at that meeting did not match my ethnicity, education, or socioeconomic status. I sat next to an old geezer in a straw cowboy hat who was prattling on about how as a young buck he was a street bum in New Orleans who shot a guy and ended up in Angola prison. Upon his eventual release, he became a crackhead wandering the streets of Beaumont. Yadda yadda yadda he recovered, got a good life, etc. I missed that message because I was too busy thinking about my own fall from grace; after all, if I was going to be in this AA thing then these were my new peers. When I returned “home” (the guest house at my father’s estate) I was telling dad about this guy and his tale of woe and dad got a huge shit-eating grin on his face and told me the next time I saw him I was to introduce myself, kiss him on the forehead, and pass along dads love and affection. “Wait, dad, you actually know that guy?” His reply was that not only did he know him, that over the previous 20 years they had become close friends and that the man had built a halfway house from scratch and since 1992 had helped thousands of guys get sober. Furthermore, he had learned how to read, and earned a GED, a BA, and a MA, so his educational credentials exceeded mine. He was a land owner, had a doting wife, and was a good father. Armed with this new perspective, he became a valuable resource. I spent hundreds of hours with him, and when he would call me out, I would take the criticism constructively. The evening that stands out is when I showed up at our regular Wednesday night men’s meeting with a massive resentment about something (probably divorce/ex wife issues). He told me to sit down, shut up, and read page 90 of the 12 and 12. “It is a spiritual axiom that whenever we are disturbed, there is something wrong with us.” My suggestion is that you get out, explore every group, and try to find the winners. Watch and listen and they will be revealed. And for gods sake, work the steps with a sponsor. Mine is an old lawyer who can see through any bullshit I fling against the wall.