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Superhero

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Superhero

  1. Office manager last week: "BTW you're leading the inclusions and diversity events this month, you should have gotten some emails already." Me: "Wait a minute. What? What emails?" HR coordinate today: "So how's it going on the D&I stuff. Did you get the emails?" Me: "What emails?" HR coordinator: "Lady in Seattle was supposed to send you emails. Here, I'll forward you the emails and link to materials."
  2. I used to go with the wrench Why the wrench? Cause fuck him, that's why. - Will
  3. Shoot, if we're stereotyping, did I also mention I'm teaching my son exponents? He's figured out 2 ^ 11 but still struggles to tie his shoe laces. Oh, I don't have computer geek skills. I'm just good at looking at advertisement emails.
  4. I love Micro Center, which IMO is the best computer store hands down. Walk in, and it's complete geek central complete with acne, greasy hair and Mountain Dew. During covid, they had tons of monitors when they were in short supply everywhere else. Recently, I had been actively looking for a computer to replace the current rig. Micro Center sent out a sales email, selling a Lenovo Legion game rig for sale for $800 so I snagged it. The same rig with the equivalent GPU (RTX 4060 vs Radeon 7600) is $1,330 on the Lenovo site.
  5. I ran into my son’s Jiu Jitsu coach today. He probably has 50+ kids in the studio, and even though I’ve only spoken to him once, he knew who I was. I asked how come my kid is sometimes in the back corner with the advanced belt kids instead of with the other white belts. The coach said for a kid being 3 months in the program, he’s doing well and wants him to learn more advanced techniques instead of just the white felt stuff. Totally impressed that the coaches are paying attention to the development of each kid instead of just lumping them with other kids with the same amount of time in the program.
  6. I ran into the dumbest employee at Home Depot today. I went in to get baseboards for the renovation. 2 each 7’ boards. 2 each 6’ boards. The 7’ boards are clearly the same length, but he measured both of them to be sure. He then measured both 6’ boards… Then he did the math: 2 x 7 = 14. 2 x 6 = 12. 14 + 12 = … he pulls out his phone to add those up because he didn’t trust me when I said it’s 26. I guess if my brain ever regress to an 8 year old state, I can still get a job at Home Depot
  7. Me still awake in our office area that’s just outside of bedroom. She went to bed first and leaves the door open, then asks if I can dim the lights because it’s too bright. Now I’m in bed on my phone scrolling silently the dark, screen brightness all the way down. She just asked if I can turn off the phone because the light is somehow penetrating her eyelids and she can’t fall asleep.
  8. A little background. I'm 50, have a relatively youthful face, and a head full of grey / white hair. So I went to our LA office. I don't have a key, so need to sign in at the security desk. The 2 guys at the security desk look up and start talking about my hair. Amongst the comments: "Damn, that's some good looking hair" Thanks? "Do you dye it or is it natural?" It's natural. "Have you ever gotten compliments?" Yeah, over the years. "Any from young women? Because I bet they'll your hair." Not really, no sugar babies have approached me to be their daddy. "Aw man, you need to step up your game with the young ladies." My wife will kill me if I stepped up anything. Thought that was a funny exchange, especially the last parts. I'm ugly, maybe a 5 on good day, but I got my hair going on for me. Which is nice.
  9. Any opinion on smart toilets? My wife wants a non-so-cheap Woodbridge or Horo. For the price I’d rather get a tried and true Toto toilet and bidet seat. It won’t looks as nice, but there is no history on these brands and who knows how reliable they are.
  10. Where did Vance learn to tie a tie? I did a better job when I was in elementary school. School uniform holla. Walz got it right. That dimple is
  11. Is that far from Ukraine? Because it seems like Bernaul is far from Ukraine.
  12. BTW, this was a REPLACEMENT because the contents of the first box were damaged. I chatted with someone on Amazon and they said to dump everything and they'll credit my account. No need to send back.
  13. Was not expecting that and I actually LOLed.
  14. When everyone in the band / worship team / whatever is hitting their groove and the feeling of pure joy that is impossible to replicate. It’s up there with the first nervous kiss with my wife, holding my kids for the first time after they were born. It’s just truly magical.
  15. How is the person who shipped this box still employed?
  16. The emu story and Christmas "I put his fat ass up there" story are neck and neck.
  17. TIL that trans people can also become saints. Saint Michael, or more appropriately Saint Michelle, was clearly born a man with a Polish potato farmer physique, but went on to get facial reconstruction surgery to make it for fem and also grew out his/her golden locks. Good for you Catholic Church for recognizing people’s accomplishments without letting their birth gender get in the way.
  18. We were playing Scrabble and I put down "CAW" Me: That's 3+1+4 points, double word score, so 16. Wife: Is that a real word? 🙄 Boy: Yeah, in Spanish it means poop, as in my sister is a big caw caw.
  19. People changing lanes on the freeway at full speed. I drive fast, but am a grandpa when changing lanes because I'm always worried someone will change into the same lane as me. Just to confirm my paranoia, I was merging from the slow lane to the middle lane, when a full size pickup truck came blazing out of the HOV lane, crossed 3 lanes of traffic and out the exit. I had to slam on my brakes and swerve back into the slow lane or else we would have collided. Maybe 5 minutes later, I was ready to exit the freeway into downtown LA. Let's just say the highway design in DTLA makes I-35 look genius - the 2 right lanes are for cars trying to get onto and off the freeway. Everyone is trying to merge safely, but then this woman cuts into my lane at full speed, then slams on her brakes because there's nowhere for her to go. Again, I had to swerve to avoid another accident
  20. My 12 YO computer is on the fritz. Sometimes the screen comes on, sometimes it says nope, not today. I'm eyeing a gaming machine even though I only play Battlefield a few times a month. Cost probably $850. My Samsung fridge has been buzzing loudly, and there is a puddle of water every few days. The repair person said the drains are clogged and he can fix it for $280, but not to do it, because the compressor is about to go. I'm ordering a new one this weekend which will cost at least $1,300. The garage door opener on the 2x door shit the bed on Monday. The guy installed a new opener today for $850. The opener on the other 1x door broke suspiciously while he was here. So that's another $800. Add that to the bathroom renovation that's going to start on Monday... October is going to be an expensive month.
  21. Gold to silver ratio since I first bought precious metals. Still looking to trade more silver for gold in the near future. The timing could probably be better, but it's better than January.
  22. Can we all agree that this guy should be president in 2033?
  23. Wet countertops. A bit less trivial - people who don't take care of office, and do things they wouldn't do at home. E.g. we've been in our brand new, beautiful office space for less than 2 months, there are already coffee stains on the countertops that won't come out. It's partly a poor choice of material, but it's also people spilling coffee and not wiping it off. The microwaves are disgusting even though we have food covers, and reminders in the microwave to cover your food. And I've seen people just brush crumbs off the table onto the floor. Shit that they wouldn't do at home (hopefully), but they do at the office. Makes no sense and pisses me off.
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