I know it comforts people like you to believe such things. But nonetheless, our family is great. Son is home for an extended visit, he was very eager and happy to get home to us. And the night after he got back, he had a great dinner with his friends, which included two young refugees who he treats like his own brothers, all part of our family dynamic. Daughter is very much looking forward to my wife's visit in a few weeks (she doesn't know yet that I'm joining her, it will be a surprise -- she was disappointed when we told her I probably couldn't make the trip).
As for my political beliefs, what the moron class doesn't realize is that most of them haven't fundamentally changed (some certainly have -- for example, when I was younger, I thought "trickle-down" economics made some sense. I've since seen -- by watching it actually tried -- that it doesn't work, not even a little bit).
I grew up being anti-authoritarian. I grew up thinking that a "papers please!" government was a bad thing for people. I grew up thinking that we shouldn't demonize people because of where they come from. I grew up proud that we are a destination for refugees (FFS, Reagan himself proudly spoke of that in his farewell address). I grew up in a nation that, via a REPUBLICAN president, passed things like the Clean Air Act and the Clean Water Act, which I got to see transform the air and waterways that I loved (grew up cleaning tar off my feet at the coast, now tar is incredibly rare). I've always thought that using the force of the state to wage a comprehensive campaign to go after your political rivals was chickenshit. I've always hated gerrymandering. I grew up believing in and expanding global market and free trade (subject to reasonable regulation). I grew up thinking that white supremacists, and phrases like "poisoning the blood of our nation" were bad. I have spent my entire professional life working towards preserving the rule of law, not the rule of whim or decree of a dictator. I grew up believing that we are a nation of laws, not a cult of a man. I grew up learning (slowly) about our real history with regard to slavery and race relations, knowing at once that we bear deep scars as a society because of those things, but pride that we continued to move forward positively, in fits and starts.
I was a moderate conservative, with liberty leanings. I believed in all of those things, and all of those things were welcome in the Republican party of a time. Hell, most of them were welcome in the Democratic party of that time. Today....every one of those beliefs would render me an apostate to the MAGA cult. Shit, Ronald Reagan (a deeply flawed man and POTUS) would be a RINO, unwelcome in that cult.
I'm good with who I am, and what I believe. Because I have both stuck with the core principles I've long held: I'm a patriotic American who believes in our nation and ideals, flawed as they may be. I'm a patriotic American who believes that we can be what we claim to be. That we can provide a good and prosperous future for all Americans, and can lead the world in doing so. I'm a patriotic American who is proud that we have been a beacon of hope and freedom for so many over the centuries, and believe that we should continue to be. But I'm also good with who I am because I'm not afraid to learn, and to change my opinions based on evidence and reality. I have never sworn blind allegiance to a party, or to a man, and I never will. BECAUSE I am an American. We don't do that shit.
I want an America that manages to strike an amazing balance in working towards the common good while respecting basic individual liberty. I'm realistic enough to know that the balance is never perfect, and is often wildly off, but there has been a strain of "we're trying" for a long time. And like any of us, all of whom are flawed, fallen people, "not perfect, but trying" is pretty damned good. When I see the country embracing "not perfect, and fuck you, we're proud of it," it saddens and angers me. My family members each sacrifice of themselves to help others, in many different ways. It is ingrained in them. I am proud of them. Nothing that a desperate, sad soul like you says can change the reality of who they are, what they believe, and how they act on those beliefs.
I'm not perfect. I learn. I try. I fail. I try again. I am an American, and in my trying, failing, and trying again -- and learning and getting better -- I am like America. Or at least, like she was. And I hope, like she can be again.