"Life like hair and beard." Shit, half of the Surly posters would KILL for that.
Also, reminds me of the sex toy etc. catalog we got at our house in college. Someone had ordered a blow up sex doll as a party prop (yes, we were degenerates). Once you place such an order, you get on the mailing list, catalogs show up. We get one, and paging through it, get to the section on artificial vaginas/pocket pussy devices. And one of them has a graphic on the ad that looks like this....
Except instead of "new and improved," it says "NOW FEATURING REAL HAIR!" First....dear lord, the 80s were a dark time in so many ways. Second...I couldn't stop laughing at the idea of some board meeting of the Acme Sex Toy company, where they were gathered around the board table, and a guy was griping "sales of our pocket vaginas are flat. We just aren't moving product, there's no enthusiasm or buzz for it." Then Jenkins, the new marketing guy, pops up in his chair -- "I'VE GOT IT. Hear me out, fellas....two words....'REAL. HAIR.'" Long pause, then the chairman smiles -- "Jenkins, you're a GENIUS!"