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Judge Roybeanbag

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Everything posted by Judge Roybeanbag

  1. Maybe he’ll drift off and choke on his tongue.
  2. Bound to be some surly lawyer that can class action this, right?
  3. Why are any of you stupid motherfuckers lifting anything you don’t have to, at your age? Make someone else do it, or pay someone else to do it. I mean, I have to lift stuff like rearranging furniture, or other cuck things a husband has to do, but at 60 my whole MO is avoiding hard work and unnecessary injury. I must just be lazy.
  4. Apparently an MRI for your prostate is a 'special' procedure and I'm having a hard time finding a location to schedule one in a timely manner. They must know I'm a giant asshole and need a bigger machine or something. Seriously though - I've checked 3 different places on recommendation of my Dr. and they all said 'oh we only do that procedure at x facility, and that would be mid-May at earliest. Like Longhorn Imaging for example, I'd have to drive to San Antonio. Touchstone only does it at their far North Austin facility. What's so different about it aside from the dye?
  5. Well yeah, cuz getting molested or fleeced makes all your other problems seem minor in comparison.
  6. If you mean excavating most of Cedar Park, Leander and Lago Vista, that might help. Otherwise not so much.
  7. Your parents were weak defective individuals. That's why we have peanut allergies and wokeness. I assign blame to everyone except me, personally. BTW this wasn't a personal attack, I'm sure your parents were fine, strict mormon vegans who never partook.
  8. So he went to shit... pigs ate him, and he went to shit again.
  9. I did this to my son and his friends in the backseat numerous times. Lock windows, turn heat on high/recirculate and let it rip.
  10. I went to school with a girl who had a limp from polio, and had a special shoe. Her go-to move when anyone made fun of her was to take that special shoe foot, and stomp the shit out of the offender's toes. She was a tough kid. Played tackle football with us sometimes.
  11. Still not enough to wash the vomit off the street!
  12. Some pea sized hail for a bit, high winds and about an inch of rain overnight. Doubt anything got damaged.
  13. I waffled on whether I should make that the point or not.
  14. Well I'm driving down the Ranch Road, Carrying quite the heavy load Dodging spandex cowboys On their pedal powered toys When I crest over the hilltop, Down below there's quite a flip flop The Hill country’s become rather mild There's a rapey fucking peacock going wild. Sing that in your Willie voice. Long live the peacock, He's as loud as a Texas stuffed sock Proclaiming he's as Texas as can be Truth is he's a fraud Money is his God His plumage is meant to fool you and me But fool me once, Fool me twice I hear 49 states are quite as nice You'll catch me on the outside Watching that peacock chase the ride. Fuck that peacock.
  15. It’s a crazy world. Peacocks running down the highway. I had to write a quick tune.
  16. I was try to remember when KS and Derka had a thing. No joy in my memory. Hell not much joy anywhere else either.
  17. I just want someone else, to get me through this; semicolon kind of life. Baby.
  18. I thought it was Frank Stallone, but didn’t want to put out the @YGIFS bat signal.
  19. Mowed the front yard and it was so dry and dusty with pollen and leaves under the oak tree my nose is stopped up and I can’t smell anything now. I’m gonna go dig the shirt out of the hamper that I wore to crawfish boil last night and sniff it like a pair of used panties.
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