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Judge Roybeanbag

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Everything posted by Judge Roybeanbag

  1. I once got escorted off my own sisters property, during a Halloween party, for extinguishing the mini jack-o’-lanterns lining the sidewalk, with my urine so this hits close to home.
  2. Your roof leaking again?
  3. Same in 78748. Loud thunder a bit ago. Woke up to pee, then turds had to flee. No use going back to bed now.
  4. Who's to say SHE didn't molest HIM???
  5. The greatest thing was we were listening to John Prine “Please Don’t Bury Me” at that particular time.
  6. I was a bit perplexed, when I caught it in my peripheral vision. Like man that looks like a dead body or a pair of pantyhose stuffed with sand. Nope. Just a sex doll named Sandy.
  7. I’ve had some really good fishing there but this wasn’t one of those times. Once you’re committed though, not much you can do about the surf.
  8. On the way home, a washed up sex doll at Mile Marker 35, erectile dysfunction at the buoy. Notice I have my 16 year old ShaggyBevo shirt on. best 30 seconds of that buoys life.
  9. Circling the wagons and camping at the Port Mansfield jetties Camp thieves
  10. Made a trip down PINS this last weekend with my brother, nephew and some work friends. Interesting trip. High tides, chocolate surf and driving 60 miles of beach was a beating, but still beautiful. Fishing sucked. But we found nice things. Old riveted panga. Some weird buoy thing that was rubber and acted like a trampoline. Another abandoned boat, I drove like a boss.
  11. The thing about bidets is they don’t clean the fucking toilet. The lid and bowl still looks like a 76 truck stop nightmare because my wife refuses to use the toilet brush and some Clorox wipes after a few eruptions.
  12. If it was the Kristofferson version followed by Sunday Morning Coming Down then it might have been me, and I offer no apologies!
  13. Sometimes he gives himself the creeps.
  14. You’re almost describing the Republican Party.
  15. This is about the pope, not the poop. It’s all poop in this fucking reality.
  16. Bumping because, well just because. What a wonderful world.
  17. Those were Junk. Named junkers even!
  18. He defiled himself the moment he left satans scrotum and entered Fred the Nazis urethra.
  19. OK then, it was 200 metric fucktons!
  20. They usually try to recover it. By filling it with ping pong balls.
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