You're not the first tired parent. Put your big boy pants on and be an adult. You need to re-evaluate what this "me-time" means. I'm not going to jump to any conclusions, but it sounds selfish. You're a parent, not a single adult. Turn the "me" time into "we" time. Yes, that's corny as shit, but take them out to do something to unwind. Not sit on your phone or in front of a TV.
When the kids have an outburst, respond in a firm but calm manner. It disarms them when they see you calm. Blowing up only teaches them they can do it too. Let them throw their tantrum, but in the end, they need firm rules. Make them apologize each time one hurts the other. Reward them for good behavior, but don't rub it in.
And if it feels uncontrollable, go seek out some therapy for all of yall. Kids can struggle when dealing with their emotions. And sometimes they need to be taught how to do so in a constructive manner, because it will only get worse through puberty.