They always do....
So far, still dodging bullets in 2020. Went to my favorite taco haunt not far from the shop... felt that all too familiar rumble halfway through lunch
and knew the clock had officially started ticking. I'd like to make an observation here : when you're a serial sharter it really affects where you go and how you
do things. For example, the farther from home / work a restaurant is... the better its bathroom has to be. Otherwise I'm sticking to safety and that's measured by no more than 5 mins away from a bathroom I know and trust. Also, it doesn't hurt to have some bathrooms staked out around town to help extend your range. I'd like to add that even five minutes is pushing it when you're doing all you can not to push it. I had to speed through a regular speed trap..had I been pulled over, I'd have sharted. I had to go over a train track...had a train come, I'd have sharted. Try to leave yourself more outs than this.
Anyways made it to the shop, up a flight of stairs in the dark, and jussssssst made it to sanctuary of a cold porcelain bowl which I promptly obliterated with hot road tar belched from Krakatoa itself. There's been some pretty heavy ordinance incoming this year but so far I'm unscathed in 2020. If I wrote this story ten years ago it would have had a sad ending indeed but it's really about removing all trust from your asshole and placing it in yourself instead. If you have to ask...if you have to think...if you have to wonder... it's a shart.