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Superhero

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Superhero

  1. Is calling people gay as a derogatory term a thing (again) now? We used to say it, but seemed like it stopped for quite a while. Seems like it’s back en vogue for kids to call each other gay for something or other. Anyway, I sat my kids down and told them in no certain terms that they need to stop that or else. Even if their friends aren’t gay, some person may be gay and hear this and have an even rougher time come to terms with who they are / fear of coming out. /lib dad I know I know
  2. Damn you for making me look up whale penises at 7AM.
  3. The DOD photo looks fake AF. Wasn’t it gray and cloudy in DC on Saturday? How did the sky turn blue?
  4. Be number 73? If you're not marrying her, who cares.
  5. I'm going with 5.5%. Tech stocks have been great the past 10 years, but I'll be selling those to buy more bonds which have a lower yield. FWIW, I asked my son what he wanted to buy with the allowance he earned the past year... a Playstation 5? MetaQuest? Nope, he wanted to buy a something that follows the S&P index. He's 10 years old. I'm proud of him. So proud that I opened up an account for him and his sister this morning and funded it with $1,000. Now they both have a share of VOO, AMZN and AAPL.
  6. Tipped the scale above 160 for the first time since I was mid-20s when I was lifting and swoll. Now it's just beer belly and love handles.
  7. His penis is 12’ shorter and just as flacid.
  8. What do personal tax accountants do between April and January?
  9. StassneyHorn likes body hair. Noted. Also, 2, 1
  10. I pretty much told my team the same thing, at least until the end of July. $700M project on the line and we can’t screw this up.
  11. $30K/month is future dollars. Gotta figure taxes and inflation. Target is $10K/month in current dollars without social security, which I’m not counting on. And out of the $10K, also gotta pay for health insurance since Medicare will be done as well.
  12. I’d shoot someone for a few extra inches.
  13. Haven’t had much interactions with Nigerians. But my one data point with Ghanaians is that he is pretty impressive.
  14. Don’t forget that Asian kids have multiple career options to pursue. They can choose between doctor, lawyer and engineer.
  15. How does an ass take that length?
  16. I'll probably work at least until 63 when my boy finishes college. That would put me around 9 given the current savings rate and assuming a 5.5% return. Not quite enough to live off of bonds and dividends. Assuming my parents hand off the money I'm currently managing for them (that's their plan anyway), I should be closer to 12 at retirement. It's all hypothetical anyway. Who knows if I'll still be alive at 63. My dad is 84 and mom is 75. But our families have a history of all kinds of diseases.
  17. Not to brag on my kids any more. But both of them got straight As on their report card. I get weekly update from my daughter's school, so no surprise there. My son OTOH doesn't give as much shit to learning, so it was a nice surprise. The picture below is a joke, but deep down, I do agree with this.
  18. Did you take a picture? We went out to look but it was cloudy. My son was really disappointed that he didn’t get to see it.
  19. Kids catching the waves on their first day out. The last pic was right before my boy crashed into his sister.
  20. Forgot about the $ for these summer camps. My wife and I are able to afford these summer camps, but yeah, $200 for a week of tennis camp for 1/2 day (which is the CHEAPEST of the camps) starts to add up. Do the proletariat just let their kids go feral?
  21. Except if you have working parents, and they don't want you at home on your iPad all day, so they send you to various summer camps... As a parent, summer is a pain in the butt having to drop off / pick up the kids from different locations during the workday. During the school year, my kids walk to and from school by themselves. They disappear at 8 and re-appear at 3.
  22. Home sweet home to a bidet with much stronger water pressure. It actually cleans my butthole instead of just moistening my poop.
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