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Brisketexan

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Everything posted by Brisketexan

  1. Well, not Oholah. She got stripped nekkid and kilt with a sword. But for everyone else, yeah.....that's essential to my Theory of Everything.
  2. Ummmm.....not everybody. Not even close. They are young females. They are no better than property, to be used as their older male owners see fit.
  3. Sorry....best we can do is a law requiring every person to carry a gun at all times. Seriously, you know that a bill doing just that has a 1000X better chance of getting passed in Texas than anything else you're talking about.
  4. Oh. See, I have my own Theory of Everything based on Ezekiel. But not Chapter 1. I found the truth about the universe and how it operates in Ezekiel 23: The word of the Lord came to me: 2 “Son of man, there were two women, daughters of the same mother. 3 They became prostitutes in Egypt, engaging in prostitution from their youth. In that land their breasts were fondled and their virgin bosoms caressed. 4 The older was named Oholah, and her sister was Oholibah. They were mine and gave birth to sons and daughters. Oholah is Samaria, and Oholibah is Jerusalem. 5 “Oholah engaged in prostitution while she was still mine; and she lusted after her lovers, the Assyrians—warriors 6 clothed in blue, governors and commanders, all of them handsome young men, and mounted horsemen. 7 She gave herself as a prostitute to all the elite of the Assyrians and defiled herself with all the idols of everyone she lusted after. 8 She did not give up the prostitution she began in Egypt, when during her youth men slept with her, caressed her virgin bosom and poured out their lust on her. 9 “Therefore I delivered her into the hands of her lovers, the Assyrians, for whom she lusted. 10 They stripped her naked, took away her sons and daughters and killed her with the sword. She became a byword among women, and punishment was inflicted on her. 11 “Her sister Oholibah saw this, yet in her lust and prostitution she was more depraved than her sister. 12 She too lusted after the Assyrians—governors and commanders, warriors in full dress, mounted horsemen, all handsome young men. 13 I saw that she too defiled herself; both of them went the same way. 14 “But she carried her prostitution still further. She saw men portrayed on a wall, figures of Chaldeans[a] portrayed in red, 15 with belts around their waists and flowing turbans on their heads; all of them looked like Babylonian chariot officers, natives of Chaldea. 16 As soon as she saw them, she lusted after them and sent messengers to them in Chaldea. 17 Then the Babylonians came to her, to the bed of love, and in their lust they defiled her. After she had been defiled by them, she turned away from them in disgust. 18 When she carried on her prostitution openly and exposed her naked body, I turned away from her in disgust, just as I had turned away from her sister. 19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. 21 So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled. If you can't put it together and figure out the Theory of Everything from that book (I even did you the favor of bolding the truly revelatory passages), then I can't help you, man.
  5. b-side? Fuck that, it's from the secret omitted verse of "Proud to be an American." "I'm proud to be an American, where at least I can be completely fucking irrational and disproportionately exact pain and cruelty on anyone weaker than me, and I won't forget the people I fucked over, because the 'other' don't deserve to be free, and you better stand up, boy....or else I'll beat your ass again." Or something like that.
  6. Yep. A statement that Trump was liable for rape, including the COMMON USAGE of the term (that is, it's not limited to the narrow statutory definition of NY law), was 100% true. As supported by a finding of a court. In a matter in which Trump was a fucking party, so he damned well knows about it, and it may even arguably be res judicata on the matter (truly, I have no idea how that plays in the anti-SLAPP context, as I've never seen such a circumstance). The motion for summary judgment and for fees should be following in rapid fashion.
  7. This fucking timeline. The biggest bunch of fucking pathetic dipshit rejects, and they are worshipped as near-gods by the MAGA masses. For fuck's sake, they had emergency press conferences in front of Four Seasons Total Landscaping ("conveniently located next to the dildo shop in a warehouse park!"), they're giving their defiant going-away speeches "near a Papa Johns," they store classified documents in a fucking social club bathroom.....what the ACTUAL FUCK? It's like a fucking Mad Libs of a regime, just making up the most absurd shit possible.
  8. You're playing America's song now!
  9. Don't ask Sharif. He's in a fucking mood.
  10. I mean.....you do you, man, I ain't gonna judge.
  11. I'm beginning to understand. Sharif don't like it. You know, he really hates it. BUT.... Wait till Otis sees us! He loves us! It's all starting to make sense.
  12. Depends. What color is the defendant?
  13. Bingo. There ARE solutions out there. We are interested in precisely NONE of them. Imagine pitching a revised involuntary commitment regime to the current Texas Legislature (because that's where the change would have to come from). Yeah. Good fucking luck. I'm sure they'll tackle that right after the bill providing for procuring 1,000 unicorns for DPS to ride on patrol. The current legal system only has so many tools to get dangerous mentally ill people off the streets. That is by design. Austin is far from alone in having its hands tied on the issue. Fix the law. It starts with the Legislature, clearly the most functional and well-meaning body around, so it should be easy peasy.
  14. "America: maybe one day, we'll be as functional as Brazil!" FFS.
  15. Man....Cathy Lee in her prime was 80s-riffic.
  16. EXACTLY. I put together a short video to explain: You see, the most important thing to understand is that Sharif don't like it. You know, he really hates it.
  17. If you think the Ukrainians couldn't weaponize a 944 POS, you haven't been paying attention.
  18. Every one of those Team Trump criminal fuckers....EVERY....LAST....ONE....deserves this experience:
  19. They should just liquidate their clown collection -- a lotta dollars to be found there.
  20. Meh. They'll just be property in the New Gilead we're creating.
  21. Why? Butter that mushroom, and you only have to worry about the first 2 inches of your passage anyway.
  22. Bingo. Any such case will go to the Fifth Circuit. Which has never met a "well, that EXACT scenario isn't clearly established -- the car he pulled over was a BLUE 2013 Camry....while there was another case very, very similar, identical in every other respect, the Camry in that case was white (it was also a 2012, but we need not reach that point of distinction in order to support our holding)" exception...with respect to law enforcement shitting on minorities....that it didn't LOVE.
  23. Doubtful. He saves up all his fecal matter for the ink he uses to write his opinions.
  24. Over/under on how many days till deputy Cletus somewhere in Texas arrests someone for "looking insufficiently American, you know what I mean," and the 42 USC Sec 1983 lawsuit gets filed?
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