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Brisketexan

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Everything posted by Brisketexan

  1. How that will work... Pharmaceutical executive, who likely also happens to be embedded in the current presidential administration: "We ran our new drug, HelpsIngrownToenailsButMakesYourDickFallOff, through an AI trial, and it came out just fine and practically no imaginary test subject's dick fell off. You can trust us, and our AI engine, the Aways-Approve-o-Max 5000."
  2. "I am an ACTUAL believer in freedom and liberty. And that means....leave people the fuck ALONE. I don't care how your neighbor worships -- you don't either. I don't care what color your neighbor is -- you don't either. I don't care what language your neighbor spoke as a kid -- you don't either. I believe what you do: that we should all have good education, real opportunity, and real freedom. The only time the government should knock on your door is to deliver the mail or help after a disaster, NOT with jackboots and facemasks because somebody wants to score political points by being a fucking dick."
  3. Maybe the problem is using pussy-ass weak language. Weird. Cruel. Fuck that. I just want one person to take to a podium, and say "These people are fucking dicks. My rule is simple -- don't be a fucking dick. I'm running to be your president. To lead the country. Not to be a fucking dick. Imagine what a fucking dick would do -- I'll do the opposite of that. A fucking dick would turn this country over to billionaires, screwing over you, the American people. I won't do that. A fucking dick will violate the law, claiming that he's just going to do it to hurt some bad people, but then he hurts you. I won't do that. Our grandparents saved the world from fucking dicks. We landed on beaches and shot fucking dicks. We dropped atomic bombs on fucking dicks. Be an American, fighting for what's right for the American people. Don't be a fucking dick." Repeat. Non-stop. Make CNN bleep you out 40 times per interview. GO ON THE ATTACK. RELENTLESSLY, AGGRESSIVELY, AND NON-FUCKING-STOP.
  4. Crazy south asian dude using the "all south asian dudes look the same" defense was not on my bingo card for 2025. But that's my mistake. Everything utterly insane and batshit should be on that bingo card.
  5. Especially considering the fact that 1) the Texas legislature has passed a law trumping any and all other regulation of driverless cars, and specifies that "the owner of the car" will have the same liability as the driver, and 2) the owner of every individual Robo-Tesla is guaranteed to be a single-asset LLC, something like "Owner of Robo-Tesla #356, LLC".....there will be nobody to send to jail, and no real money to pay for any damage they cause. File suit against that entity? Cool, it's immediately transferred to bankruptcy court, because that entity is now insolvent.
  6. No, see, this political movement is all about "draining the swamp," and "taking power back from the elites and giving it to the people." Did you not get the memo? That's totally happening, for real. Yeah....this is definitely NOT a classic trojan horse move on their part, not at all....move along, nothing to see here.
  7. LINCOLN’S DEAD??
  8. Okay…wait…hear me out…it’s American Ninja Warrior…but Mexican…and we make em cross the Rio with alligators and obstacles and machine guns and shit! Or wait, here’s my other one: hot chicks with big boobs wrasslin’ and ripping each others clothes off. Now, maybe it’s not Homeland Security-related, but importantly: tits.
  9. She’s a good creation. They should create more of her.
  10. You overrate the importance of those protests. You underestimate the nearly completed playbook they've run to complete a fascist takeover. You're talking votes and changing minds, when your thoughts should be on plans to shelter/help escape targets of the regime, and how and where weapons should be cached for what's coming.
  11. So.....high. All you had to say was "high," man.
  12. "LIE." It is the first - and perhaps only - principle of the movement. They bought their tickets, let em crash.
  13. Nothing says "vacation success" quite like that, though.
  14. I won't ride in either. But Waymo is much better technology, and is much more tested. But I've now become much more likely to be hit by a "self-driving vehicle" next time I walk to lunch or drive to my office. So, that's nice.
  15. Update, seen at Angie's restaurant today (presumably driven by egg prices): "All breakfast plate prices increased $2 All tacos increased $.35" THANKS, OBUMMER!
  16. The problem isn't attention. It's language. As in, foreign language. Non-MAGA world speaks a language that includes things like rational connections, evidence-based reasoning, shit like that. Might as well be speaking a dead dialect of Tagalog to MAGAs, who speak a language of insane inflammatory lies and lizard-brain trigger words. Reality: trans people and trans athletes are a non-issue, and have no impact on your life. MAGA: TRANS SATANISTS HAVE TAKEN OVER OUR SCHOOLS AND ARE EATING THE DOGS AND EATING THE CATS AND FORCING EVERY CHILD TO CHANGE GENDERS AND THE HUMAN RACE JUST WENT EXTINCT! In shorter form, "A lie gets halfway around the world before truth puts on its boots." Reaching those people requires VASTLY more than "getting their attention." It involves telling them superior, more inflammatory lies than our opponents are telling them. DONALD TRUMP SUCKED XI'S DICK AT THEIR LAST MEETING. HE TOOK A SECRET BRIEFCASE FULL OF 1 TRILLION DOLLARS, PROMISING TO DESTROY OUR ECONOMY. AND THE NEXT DAY, HE ANNOUNCED TARIFFS THAT HURT THE US MORE THAN THEY HURT CHINA. AND HE ALSO SENT A SECRET MESSAGE TO JOE BIDEN SAYING "WE DID IT!" Seriously. We just need an "insane MAGA lie generator" running 24/7, to see what sticks.
  17. That's because....and this is very, very important, because it is the foundation, cornerstone, walls, girders, and roof of the political ruling class in Texas....THEY WERE LYING. They lied to get the school voucher bill passed. "Pass the voucher bill, and we'll increase funding to public schools." We've passed the school voucher bill. And....they have broken their promise. Because there is no part of the political ruling class of Texas that is not built of and for lies. It's not what they do. It's what they ARE.
  18. Wait, see, all the conservatives told us that it was good to overturn Roe, as that issue should be left to the states. Does this mean....they were lying? GASP! SHOCK AND SURPRISE! There is not a single element of modern conservatism that doesn't rest on a foundation of complete lies.
  19. Ah yes, "the dong speaks for itself." Or...is that "ah yes, how sweet the wine?"
  20. And they absolutely know, with respect to every single thing he did, and didn't do....he did, or didn't do it, while in possession of a ginormous dong.
  21. Yup. Remember how all the MAGAs, including their very own AG Biondi, said "NO ONE IS ABOVE THE LAW!" when they had a sitting judge arrested in the courthouse? Golly gee, I do. Turns out, that needs to be modified to "no one is above the law...unless of course, you're MAGA, in which case you will not be arrested or prosecuted, and if you ever were, you'll be pardoned." "Laws for Thee and Not for Me" might as well be inscribed in the stone at the top of the Justice Dept HQ: We can probably put it where this statement used to be:
  22. See, I think all of these celebrity stories are stupid, don't give a shit, etc. BUT....if they give us a term like "itty bitty Diddy," my inner 12 year old is here for it. Cuz that shit's funny.
  23. Wait.....are we going to roll like this? Because....I'm listening.
  24. "Laws for thee, not for me," Exhibit eleventy billion.
  25. For the same reason that we trust American Airlines over "Jagoff's Discount Airline and Music DJ Services of Whogivesafuckistan." All "self-driving" systems are not created equal, just like all airlines are not created equal. Not thrilled that a completely-not-ready-at-all system is about to be unleashed on the streets I walk and drive every day.
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