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Brisketexan

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Everything posted by Brisketexan

  1. The idiocy of young people’s refusal to use the “phone” function of their PHONE blows me away. Found a lost phone on the walk to an Austin FC match. I picked it up, figured someone would call it, I’d answer, we could coordinate an exchange. Within minutes, an avalanche of texts from her friends. But the phone is locked…I can’t open a text. So, I assume they’ll figure it out and call (which I could answer). Nope. Never happened. Maybe 150 texts. Zero calls. I carried it with me all the way to the stadium, then just turned it in to lost and found because the people on the other end were too fucking stupid for words.
  2. Sure…I mean, plenty of people rode her.
  3. Brisketexan

    Austin FC

    Got an extra ticket for tomorrow’s match if anyone is interested. Section 118, down low. Reply or message me.
  4. This. The apple usually doesn't fall far from the tree. Especially when your mom is clinging to an upper branch of that tree with her simian toes and prehensile tail.
  5. * This message was sent from inside a Cybertruck Basecamp Alpha Male Tent.
  6. In law school, my harangues were delivered from a beer-soaked picnic table at the Posse East, good sir.
  7. I agree with you on the point that this behavior draws no political or geographic lines. But I will argue about whether it's "mental illness." Aside from the clearly diagnosed and totally real thing called "Obnoxious Personality Disorder".... ....no....these people are just fucking entitled assholes. Being an asshole isn't a mental illness. It's just being a fucking asshole. And a lot of people - perhaps a critical mass of people in our society - are fucking assholes. And I'm not even including the bunch of assholes who post on Surly.
  8. Counterpoint: if they want to up their chances of grabbing and maintaining full electoral control of this country, than the GQP DESPERATELY wants and needs a voting population that suffers from reduced intelligence, cognition, and the like. Low-IQ lead-poisoned voters is the dream voting bloc for the GQP.
  9. Hold on, man. Dude just didn't want the head to go bad. You have to use a freshly severed head right away, or freeze it. Everyone knows that. So maybe dial down the criticism a bit, okay?
  10. ....and also 4, and 3, and potato. Seriously, that's the kind of thinking we're dealing with. Inflation rose during part of Biden's term? BIDEN DID IT! Inflation fell during the next part of Biden's term? BIDEN HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. TRUMP DID IT! Etc. etc. ad infinitum. Facts and reason only annoy them.
  11. DFW racist Mississippi Tucker Carlson fan Karen at the 25 min mark or so was super special. We have empowered our entire society to be fucking assholes, we fucking CELEBRATE IT. We laud assholish behavior as a virtue. So we shouldn't be shocked when people act out, across the board.
  12. It will work just fine. Do you not even cognitive dissonance, bro? These fucking morons can absolutely hold two contradictory thoughts in their heads - they don't clash, because they've got so much empty room to move around in there.
  13. Like he can get coverage from quality outfits like those. All of his coverage is with
  14. Can I just stand out on the West Mall, reading this on repeat and haranguing everyone who walks by? Cuz I like to do shit old-school.
  15. He stops Chubb the way all authoritarians control private enterprises in their countries. To stop them from executing on his $90 million in assets, he threatens them with executive action that will seize/damage/reduce the value of Chubb's portfolio by a few billion. Chubb then falls in line, example eleventy billion of a private enterprise bending the knee to a head of gov't using the power of the state for his personal benefit. This isn't hard or complicated. Damn near every third world shithole of the past several centuries had it down to a science. On the flip side, if Chubb steps up and does him a solid, he'll use that same government power to do something favorable for Chubb that enriches their portfolio by a few billion. Those in the know call this approach "plata o plomo." Again, it's criminal gangster 101 shit.
  16. It's only heartbreaking if you give a shit. Fortunately, this means that no police officers' hearts are being broken. And that's what's really important here.
  17. Is Santos the person we deserve, because of how we've allowed this timeline to develop? Absolutely, 100%. Pathologically psychotic piece of shit winning a congressional seat, and repeatedly running for one? Fuck yes, we're a joke of a country, might as well make it over-the-top. Subtlety is for pussy libtards.
  18. I'll bring the BBQ. @Steel Shank will bring the cold bud light. @Slacks will have to bring multiple copies of the Financial Times, for obvious reasons. @Nicole44 will bring....the stuff she uses on Rainey Street. But shit's already going sideways. We're not going to have everything we need....this guy just told me that we lost the band!
  19. Negged because the theory of everything does not contain instructions on how to properly mount and deploy a Cybertruck Basecamp Super Alpha Male Camping Tent. So, begone from this thread.
  20. Dude. #1 rule of the Elonverse. No matter how ridiculous/insane/absurd something Elon-related seems.....it's real.
  21. So....the minimum is 37 pieces of flair. And no, your six toes do not count as six separate pieces of flair.....
  22. Yeah. What you've got there is an irreconcilable contradiction. "Dumb fucking cowards with guns" is their official brand and policy: an independent report just confirmed it.
  23. See, that's just clumsy book keeping. You don't just take the money out of the firm account to pay a prostitute directly. No. What you do is turn in a bunch of other legit expenses, then tack on at the end "miscellaneous tolls and tips: $2,000.00." Then you get reimbursed for the money you spent on said tolls and tips/prostitute. Duh.
  24. To be fair, it will probably be available in the next software upgrade to the Cybertruck. Of course, ACTIVATING that software module will probably cost $5,000. Once you establish a class of cultish simps, it really is your holy obligation to bilk them out of every possible penny. That move may be the one thing about Elon that I actually respect. When you've got suckers on the line, REEL THEM IN.
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