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BearSchlong

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Everything posted by BearSchlong

  1. Ouch, and good luck. My stepbrother has a friend who he is trying to point to rehab. In the last month, he's been banned from the Little League field/organization for being wasted around kids, is about to be thrown off a pretty prestigious charity board for simulating fellatio on another board member, and then did shots at another family event and had a loud discussion about myths, generalizations, and penis-size with the only black guy in attendance. He's rich and writes big checks but is about to wear out his welcome in polite society. I chortled. Gave my stepbrother the phone number to La Hacienda and said good luck. He is so obsessed with polite decorum so if anything the aforementioned events were under-embellished. One of my favorite parts of the big book of AA mentions “let him drink for a day, and he becomes disgustingly, even dangerously anti-social.” Hey, that was me.
  2. I laughed, I mean, what if it was that easy to escape?
  3. My niece’s first vinyl was a Taylor Swift disk. I got to be the hero who showed her how to use a turntable. Haven't checked in with her but I hope she and her friends had a party too.
  4. That's the face he made when my ex gave him a hand job at Kanakuk summer camp. Circa 1982
  5. My ex-wife claims she could have married him. Narrator: “not in a million lifetimes”
  6. I've been explaining that Taylor is a bigger GDP than 35 countries to the triggered snowflakes on my county GOP chair’s FB page. /no CR, just mad props.
  7. Ha I forgot about that! Awesome.
  8. Now if Taylor wears a Biden t-shirt to the podium my weekend will be complete.
  9. Ballgame, Taylor wins in her rookie year.
  10. I'm a Mahomes fan forever. I give no fucks.
  11. I think we need a tie game. Let's make some heads explode.
  12. Can't see shit, captain. What was it?
  13. Laundry service at the local laundromat was awesome when I was living in a garage apartment during my divorce. Drop-off and pickup was easy.
  14. I'm done. Every goddamned day the rhetoric gets boosted. I'm getting triggered by the simple act of checking my fucking mail. 
  15. This simulation…the day the orange man dies I will be raptured. One of the people in the photos with Dade just had a grandson named after my father (his daughter is married to former democrat state rep Mark Stiles’ son, for chrissake) another donated $350K to my non-profit to support the homeless, and another has done more to help the wives of alcoholics than anyone else I know. These people aren't serious politicos. If anything they are a rich white people social club. So I can reluctantly forgive the Cruz buttons. Meanwhile…
  16. What Dell or other model 43” monitors have the best resolution for text? And are they flat or curved?
  17. That very proud owner put his brand-new Turner on top of a metal-tipped submerged bridge piling on its inaugural trip. Ouch.
  18. I'm a fan of AG Tellis cut, because I suffer from assless white guy disease. But Todd Snyder is some good-looking stuff.
  19. My cousin’s kids tremble at the mention of “Mr. Spoon.”
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