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Kel Varnsen

do you ever yearn?

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Elaine: All right, let’s go, I’ll give you half an hour.

Jerry: You’re serious?

Elaine: Jerry, we have to have sex to save the friendship.

Jerry: Sex to SAVE the friendship. Well if we have to, we have to.

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Well, of course they're trying to screw you. What do you think?

That's what they do. They can make up anything. Nobody knows. "By the

way, you need a new Johnson rod in there." "Oh, a Johnson rod. Yeah, well,

you better put one of those on."

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KRAMER

What did you want to see me about, Mr. Leland?

LELAND

Kramer, I've.. been reviewing your work.. Quite frankly, it stinks.

KRAMER

Well, I ah.. been havin' trouble at home and uh.. I mean, ah, you know, I'll work harder, nights, weekends, whatever it takes..

LELAND

No, no, I don't think that's going to, do it, uh. These reports you handed in. It's almost as if you have no business training at all..

I don't know what this is supposed to be!

KRAMER

Well, I'm uh, just--tryin' to get ahead..

LELAND

Well, I'm sorry. There's just no way that we could keep you on.

KRAMER

But I don't even really work here!

LELAND

That's what makes this so difficult.

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1 hour ago, Biff Tannen said:

This is one of my go-to lines. 

Also, Son of Dad...kind of a catch all.

headzo... the denogginizer...

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By the way Jerry, that walkman was broke when you gave it to me...

(hadn't seen/though about that episode in 15 years probably.  but yesterday my in-laws were describing this swap-meet in their village where they buy their neighbors broken junk at Memorial Day and fix it up to sell to other neighbors on Labor Day---I just looked at my wife in awe and thought, "That's a fucking Kramer subplot if I ever heard one."  She was actually amused)

Edited by Lobo

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1 hour ago, Lobo said:

By the way Jerry, that walkman was broke when you gave it to me...

(hadn't seen/though about that episode in 15 years probably.  but yesterday my in-laws were describing this swap-meet in their village where they buy their neighbors broken junk at Memorial Day and fix it up to sell to other neighbors on Labor Day---I just looked at my wife in awe and thought, "That's a fucking Kramer subplot if I ever heard one."  She was actually amused)

they live in a village?  where?

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Calm down, now. Calm down. Don't worry, we'll take care of you. 
This farm ain't much, but uh, you're welcome to what we have. Hot bath, 
hearty meal, clean bed.

Just have one rule. Keep your hands off my daughter.

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Jimmy: "Hey look. Hank's got a new boyfriend. Jimmy's not threatened by Hank's sexuality ... Jimmy's happy for Hank."

Elaine: "Elaine once tried to convert one but Elaine's not going through that again."

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 Well, if she was a criminal and you had to describe her to a police

sketch artist...

 

They'd pick her up in about ten minutes.

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16 hours ago, futureman said:

boutros boutros ghali 

Definitely my favorite way to refer to tits.  I use it often, even if I just think it.

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On 4/27/2018 at 10:32 AM, Sbbruin said:

Oh, Noooo, I'm so sorry. It's the MOOPS. The correct answer is, The MOOPS. 

The wife and I have been on a bit of a Trivial Pursuit kick the past couple of months.  I use this one a bit too much.

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