My dad is a recovering addict and drunk.
My dad was a stand out high school football player who played for Texas as a freshman and went on the obtain a degree from UT and MD from Southwestern.
My mom left him when I was very young because he wasn’t a great role model. I have zero memories of living in a house with them together. I honestly have very few memories of my dad when I was young.
My dad taught me love for UT football/baseball/basketball. He took me to as many games as he could starting around age 6. It was great.
He moved from his town to my town to be closer to me (or run away from hospital administration that was on to him and his addictions). He was around until I was age 13 - and poof - he was gone again.
I saw him very sporadically until age 20 when we coincidentally lived in the same town. Prior to living in the same town - every time I saw him he was drunk or looking for drugs. Quite an impression that left. After living in the same town - the memories are similar.
When I had my son 18 years ago dad and I were on speaking terms. He was around and part of my life. I told him he had 1 chance. I don’t have a choice to have him around as a kid - but I had a choice to have him around my kids. For the first time in his life - sobriety really mattered. He got his 17 year chip last month. He earned it.
My dad is the kindest human I know. He has nothing. Literally. But would give you half if you need it. He finds a way to help provide medical care to the indigent in the interior of Mexico several times a year. He works food banks. He donates his time. He is present. He is patient. He is a great listener with good advice. The kind that can likely only come from fucking up for 30 years in your prime.
He is hokey. Too hokey for his own good. Makes my wife and kids embarrassed around non-family, which is painful because he craves our love and attention.
there isn’t a person that I run into that knew my dad before he went off the rails that doesn’t think he is the best doctor and person they ever met. It’s hard to reconcile those stories with the man I knew for a significant part of my childhood.
The takeaway - he taught me how to be a fucking great dad. How to be caring and compassionate with those you love and those you don’t know. He also taught me how to fuck up the dad/kid relationship- which has created the drive for me to be the best, most present, helpful, loving, sober (not to be read as never drinking) dad I can be.
I love him dearly. I despise many of his decisions. I will miss him when he’s gone.
PS - my mom is a freaking saint that deserves a statue.