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Sandman

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Everything posted by Sandman

  1. It would work if you picked the right actor. Chris Pratt would've killed in that role IMO.
  2. My dogs are annoying assholes and I use every insult and slur I know against them, almost every day. They take it like a champ.
  3. A guy that uses both "din-din" and "kiddos" in a conversation needs to to be slapped. What's next, "fur-baby"? Slippery slope and all that.
  4. My parents bought all kinds of crystal drinkware when I was a kid. After my mom died 15 years ago, my dad kept pushing us to take some. My sister took a few pieces but he keeps bugging her about it. Now she's trying to get him to pester me instead. Fuck that noise.
  5. My wife is a serial "like" abuser. She'll use the word 14 times a sentence. I tease her about it from time to time but it is pretty annoying. She told me one of her high school teachers just blew up on her one day, unleashed a "OH REALLY? LIKE, LIKE, LIKE, LIKE, LIKE!!!" and embarrassed her. I said "But you never let her stop you. Good for you!". She was unamused.
  6. I love the thur/fri or 11:00 AM sat game for my team. Then I can fuck off and do whatever I want for most of my Saturday. I hate waiting around till 3 or 7 or God forbid 9.
  7. Or they just can't find anyone to work for peanuts. I doubt that many former athletes would turn down a fat paycheck to sit around and argue sports. Most probably do it for free in their spare time.
  8. His fin broke off his board and cut his femoral artery
  9. Reminds me of high school: "Bro, I had hot sex with this chick last night" "Who??? Tell me about it" "Nah, I can't"
  10. We got a crystal football so fuck the haters
  11. I remember reading an interview with John Kruk, after he left ESPN. He had gotten ragged on pretty hard for his preseason predictions in their opening day show, he picked some head scratchers. He said he was told by the producers to pick some weird shit because no one wanted to see every talking head pick the Yankees or whatever team was hot shit back then. He protested but had to do it anyway. After reading that, I always cut these guys some slack for their moronic picks.
  12. I was on a Grayhound bus that broke down in Moriarty, NM in the middle of the night, so this hits close to home.
  13. My kid got her first "real adult" job (her words) and left her retail gig she's had the last couple of years. So now my 50% discount is gone. I had bought some stuff online right after she put in her notice but tried for one final order last night before they turned off her employee account. No dice, the party is over. I'll have to pay full price again, fuck!
  14. I remember when a guy with a ponytail was often looked at as a bane on society. Now the manbun dudes took his place.
  15. I turn 50 this year, never owned a suit. I just went to a funeral, wore khakis and a plain polo shirt, no logos. Outside of the freemason brethren of the deceased, I was overdressed compared to the rest of the attendees.
  16. A few years ago, I was talking to my kids about growing up in West Germany and how great it was. I decided to plan a trip and jumped online to plot out all the stuff I wanted to show them. Then I got on google maps and discovered that the apartment building I lived in as a kid had been torn down, years ago. They built a hotel there. I was crushed. The trip plans were scrapped. I've decided Thomas Wolfe was right and I can't go home again.
  17. Underrated album IMO. RIP to Ryan and Robert.
  18. I've got a warm place for Suzy to sleep, any time she needs it.
  19. That shit is scary. Swiming at the beach and drowning. Not scuba diving or falling off a boat way off shore, just swimming near a sand bar and the water gets rough and you tire out. Fuck.
  20. Well, she's at least as ugly as Margot Kidder IMO, so maybe it'll work.
  21. Her shirt literally states that she's up to no good. Why is anyone surprised that this happened?
  22. You're in a topic about women that don't think critically, don't remember shit and don't listen...yet you think it's my fault that my 2 daughters don't remember the shit that I told them? Fuck that, I did my part. As I have told them many times: I have given you the information. What you choose to do with it is up to you.
  23. Take the ribbon from your hair, Mrs. Danforth. Shake it loose and let it fall.
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