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Sandman

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Everything posted by Sandman

  1. Yeah, I hate to sound like a douche but I always thought she was fine as hell. Why couldn't I have married her and ol' Scotty hitched up with my ex? Then we all would've won. Well, not all of us. But I would have.
  2. I knew exactly how it felt when I went to work all day and then came home to handle the kids by myself as she went to night school.
  3. Oh, they did. It was large and made of pine.
  4. My mom said I did a great job and looked nice in my uniform, so you can go to H-E-double-hockey sticks.
  5. After working in law enforcement for a short time, I realized that many of the people involved just cannot be trusted to do the right thing (or the smart thing) and that the death penalty needs to just go away. That being said, I don't buy the whole argument of "OH! It's so much more expensive than a life sentence!". And the reasoning is always the cost of appeals, lawyers, judges, investigators, etc. Those fuckers aren't gonna suddenly be out of a job when the DP goes away. They'll still be working on all the other crimes that don't involve the DP. Shit, they'll probably be happy to have a couple of cases taken off their backs.
  6. Interestingly, she's not the first actress to OD and die in that same shitty suburb: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dana_Plato
  7. Oh, these types of interactions are 15+ years ago. I haven't spoken to the bitch in over 3 years. My current wife encourages me to go do shit with my friends. Amazing what marrying a normal person can do.
  8. But when I asked her why it was ok for her to go out drinking with her friends on the weekend while I had to stay home, she just ignored me. But God forbid I want to play golf on a saturday morning. Fuck I hate her.
  9. I did this with my ex-wife and she just screamed that I only left early to get out of my responsibilities as a parent.
  10. My wife decided she just HAD to blast the space heater into the laundry room, since that wall faces north. But then she also turned on the air fryer and used the microwave at the same time and popped the breaker.
  11. I buy certain items that I take to work for breakfast and lunch. I get pretty pissed if I go to pack my lunch in the morning and I don't have my breakfast/lunch because some inconsiderate ass thought it was ok to eat that stuff that they were specifically told not to eat. Now you have fucked with my routine and I am not happy. We have a kitchen full of lots of things to eat, don't touch these 1-2 items. It's not hard. But my kids are grown and moved out, so this doesn't happen anymore.
  12. She didn't get trucked. Looks like a flop to me. Regardless, fans need to GTFO the floor if they can't watch where they're going. If Clark had shoulder-checked her into the ground, I'd have had zero problems with it.
  13. When did we go from "I need/I want/I like" to "I am needing/I am wanting/I am liking"? I want to slap MFers who call and say "I am needing help with XYZ".
  14. My wife's MO is to: Not wait for the oven to fully preheat; cook everything for the absolute shortest time listed in the recipie or on the package; get upset when I tell her I can't eat this undercooked food. Don't get me wrong, she doesn't serve raw chicken or anything dangerous but she'll make a cassarole that's cold in the middle. Or a fish filet that's barely warm.
  15. I bet she takes her christmas tree back to costco for a refund every year!
  16. My dad called last night to shoot the shit. I asked him if he planned to watch the CFP game, he said "No, but I hope Michigan loses. I hate them." , which is odd, because he doesn't usually give a shit, plus he's from Indiana. He's always been a B10 guy. So I ask him why the hate? He proceeds to tell me about a guy he used to work with AT LEAST 45 years ago. Said the guy was a "huge asshole" and was from Michigan. Then says the guy ran out on his wife and kids to be with another woman, and took the washer/dryer too "How was she supposed to wash the kid's clothes??". I couldn't believe he had been sitting on this story for so long, it was hlilarious. So if any of you know an old man from Michigan in his 70s named Dave Sheets, tell him he's an asshole.
  17. 30 years ago, I worked at a sporting goods chain. A guy came in with an old-ass 1980s microwave and said "I'd like to retun this". We told him we don't sell microwaves, so no chance he bought it here. He just put it on the floor and walked out. The manager put it in the dumpster about a month later.
  18. This issue came up at my wife's office and I've been hearing her talk about it. I find it interesting and thought I'd see if anyone had any ideas. My wife's employer wants to hire this guy, he's Canadian and has lived in Canada for the last 10 years or so. His wife is American and is from the state where the job is located, her family is here as well. This guy went to college in the US and worked here for a year after graduation, then went back to Canada after his student visa was up. Is getting a sponsorship the only option for this guy? Or maybe one of those H1B visas? It seems like I always hear about loopholes when it comes to hiring foreigners but I can't think of anything.
  19. I buy Craftsman stuff from Lowes. I don't use them enough to justify spending Milwaukee money and Lowes always seems to have deals where you can buy a battery 2-pack for $99 and get a free tool. Now I have an impact wrench, leaf blower, ratchet, etc and plenty of batteries to go around. Yeah, Craftsman ain't what it used to be but I don't care. These will do what I need them to do just fine.
  20. I have a friend who is obsessed with this shit. He keeps texting me "Have you heard any new names??!?!?". Dude, I don't give a shit. As soon as people start getting arrested, let me know. Or better yet, don't.
  21. I started keeping my insurance card on my sun visor, so I don't get shot by an antsy cop when I have to reach in the glovebox to get it.
  22. We always had them for breakfast with biscuits and syrup. For us, it was with mashed potatoes and white gravy. I think I've had it once in the 16 years since my mother died, I miss that shit so much. I need to ask my sister to make it again, I guess.
  23. My late brother-in-law had this happen to him a few times. Once he was at Chili's and was laughing so hard, he fell out of one of those elevated booths they have, smashed his head on the floor. A few years later, he wound up having open heart surgery and eventually passed away from a heart condition. I don't know for sure if the 2 things were connected but it seems like it, to my uneducated ass. Tell that guy to get checked out ASAP.
  24. Why does Windex smell so good? Love that stuff.
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