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Scheiss Meister

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Scheiss Meister

  1. I had a boss once who would go through the refrigerator at the wastewater plant and eat parts or all of people's lunches. Fucker was a retired developer with millions in the bank, which he would gladly tell you about, and he was stealing food from folks making just a bit over minimum wage. When I confronted him about it, he said that he was really hungry, and it was un-Christian of me to turn away a hungry man. I then explained to him that we had a container of phenalthaline in the lab, that it was the active ingredient in Ex-Lax, and that I knew how to bake it into brownies so that anyone who ate them would shit themselves half to death. The next day I had a large brownie in my lunch. When he opened up my lunch and saw the brownie, he looked at me like, "You wouldn't." I laughed and told him that there was only one way to find out. He put my lunch back in the fridge and didn't fuck with our lunches after that. That Brookshire Bros brownie was really good.
  2. Neighbor, how long has it been since I've posted "Fuck Russia"? Well that's too long.
  3. Was that entire clip broadcast? That's cold as hell of the TV folks, if so.
  4. The Yankees have won almost a quarter of all World Series championships and are expected to compete at the highest level every year. How the fuck does he see aggy as being in the same universe as the Yankees? I hate the Yankees, but their overall success is undeniable. As is aggy's lack of success.
  5. From the pines of deep East TEXAS!!!
  6. I was really referring to the line in the commercial with the two construction workers comparing lunches. Everyone's basic training sucks, and I don't denigrate any of it. Well, except the Air Force basic.
  7. Something about a rainbow goes here, but I'm too tired to think of it.
  8. Or he's put it all into gold and holds it somewhere.
  9. If he absolutely positively had to be there overnight, he should have flown for UPS.
  10. All of them from you, no doubt.
  11. Never shit on your time or sweat on The Man's time.
  12. That depends on the situation and objectives. If they were on a narrow path with no way to maneuver to either side, that works very well and can take your time dispatching them. In an open field, even if it's mined, the target can disperse and take their chances with the mines and making a more diffuse set of targets. Leaving the mine clearing tank in operation, their best chance to survive is to follow in its tracks. This keeps the vehicles in column and following a known path. In this case, better to let the mine clearer live. For now.
  13. Doc Brown did say that when he hit 88 miles per hour we'd see some serious shit.
  14. From damp, dripping deep East TEXAS!!!
  15. I was the youngest person in my class from 3rd through 12th grades. It sucked hard. I would not do that to my child.
  16. No, nor do I wish to be.
  17. So neither one has yet built up immunity to iocane powder.
  18. My first thought reading these was, "What the hell is wrong with Hamm?" Then I immediately answered myself, "A lot. There's a lot wrong with him." He's as fucked up as a soup sandwich.
  19. Last night when they showed the security camera pictures I thought that all that was missing were his Maga t-shirt and Oakley's.
  20. I was told that there would be good guys with guns to stop shit like this. Where the fuck were they?
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