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Scheiss Meister

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Scheiss Meister

  1. I used to work with a gal who had that and plushes of E. coli, Salmonella, and an amoeba for tours of our wastewater plant. They were a huge hit with kids.
  2. Hang in there, brother. Find an aggy coworker and brighten his day with reminders of how great the weekend was. It will help you over the hump.
  3. A troglodyte, a nazi, and the Creature From The Black Lagoon walk into a bar...
  4. That looks like something from a Monty Python skit, with a dummy flying through the air.
  5. I hope she kicks cancer's ass and Texas kicks Oklahoma State's.
  6. Yesterday's Mexican food doesn't prairie dog, and it doesn't wait.
  7. I think that most of the buildings in College Station were designed by Frank Lloyd Wrong. I'll see myself out, now.
  8. Is India saying that it was all an elaborate Kahn, perpetrated to make them look bad?
  9. If an oubliette is so horrible, how awful must a full sized oubli be? You left out hung. It's hung, drawn, and quartered, just like in Braveheart. Sometimes the victim was hung until unconscious two or three times before being moved to the rack.
  10. She's the one who was always paired with Fred, leaving Wilma to her own devices while Shaggy and Scooby toked up. I figured that she was a freak.
  11. Good old daphnia. If you run a wastewater plant, similar species are used to test the potential lethality of your effluent. A kid's disappointment when they won't reproduce or they die off is nothing compared to a wastewater operator's disappointment in the same situation.
  12. Those that can, do. Those that can't, teach. Those that can't and can't teach, bitch. It's the way of the world.
  13. I always assumed that the machine was a printer. The things you learn... My wife and I spent Thanksgiving with our son and daughter-in-law. We see eye to eye on politics and most everything else, so it was a nice, pleasant weekend. My side of the family has its Christmas get-together in two weeks. That has much more potential for conflict, but we usually leave the politics behind and just concentrate on loving each other, so I think that it will be unrealized potential. I hope so, anyway.
  14. Every year my wife asks me to read this aloud to kick off our Christmas season. The Reading happened tonight. This week I'll put up the lights and the yard display, then move inside to make it look like Christmas vomited all over the living room and den. Happy Holidays you glorious bastards.
  15. Hiring Elko is a splash: a cannonball into the kiddie pool splash, but that's technically still a splash.
  16. Another aspect to consider is the Darwinian selection process of war. Statistically, if you can survive your first five or so engagements, your odds of overall survival increase greatly. As you gain experience, you take fewer chances and do fewer stupid things as you learn the ropes. The newbs always die at higher rates. Combat, of any sort, punishes stupidity and mistakes in the most brutal way possible, so you don't get many chances to make mistakes. That is so for even the best trained, led, and motivated militaries. We are seeing how disastrous that is in a poorly led, poorly trained army with low morale.
  17. I was two, living the toddler life in Corpus Christi. I have no recollection of it. Now MLK and RFK, I remember those, and my dad explaining that part of the country was insane. I was seven, but I remember 1968 as a fucked up time.
  18. That's what I figured. Curses, foiled again!
  19. "If it ain't his shit, you must acquit."
  20. Shit, were you in my office the last month before I retired? That is an outstanding analogy.
  21. Hahaha. He's fixing to die, and he don't even know it.
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