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Scheiss Meister

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Scheiss Meister

  1. I love how the wheel rolls up for one last "fuck you".
  2. The perfect amount of peanut butter melting into a hot, freshly toasted English muffin as you spread the peanut butter in a perfect thickness over the surface of the muffin. I rarely hit it just right, but when I do, ahh.
  3. There are millions of rockhounds all over the world, with clubs, websites, the works. Other than dogs, have you ever heard of even one stickhound? No you haven't! The perfect rock wins. Getting rockhounds to agree on the perfect rock, however...
  4. Some Russkies are going to get shot from the sky, bombed to shit, or both by that good looking woman, and I fully support that.
  5. This makes more sense when you consider that for many of the respondents Trump is their god.
  6. That's going to be a hell of a reef someday.
  7. From beautiful East Texas TEXAS!!!
  8. That's why that chain is on the hand truck, dumbass. Chain it up and you won't get a mouthful of compressed gas tank. That reminded me of a story a former co-worker told me years ago. He was working on a rig off the Louisiana coast, and oxygen and acetylene tanks stared disappearing. No one could figure out why until late one night a guy just happened to be looking the right way to see something shoot off the side of the rig into the darkness. He told his supervisor what he saw and they went to investigate. They found out that a guy had welded two pipes to a rail, pointed out away from the rig, in such a way that he could push a tank up onto the pipes. He would put a tank on this makeshift launcher, with the bottom of the tank pointed out to sea, and knock the valve off the tank with a hammer. The tank would then take off, like in the video above. This greatly entertained the knucklehead, until he was caught. A boat brought some more tanks the next day, and the knucklehead got to ride back on the boat to where the appropriate parish sheriff arrested him for criminal mischief. I guess it was fun while it lasted.
  9. Damn, FSU! It looks like the committee was right. Anyone who watched the ACC and SEC title games saw this coming a mile away.
  10. If there's going to be a bowl game in Austin, it has to be The Franklin's Brisket Bowl. There's some sort of weird law that requires it.
  11. Uh, she obviously doesn't.
  12. A set of six Craftsman battery powered hand tools with batteries and accessories, a case for my chainsaw, chainsaw safety equipment (chaps, gloves, hard hat, eye and ear protection), and a TPWD gift card so that we can get a one year parks pass for my wife and me.
  13. Merry Christmas all you bums, jerks, dicks, and assholes. And, yeah, you regular people too, I suppose. Hook 'em!
  14. Too bad Hill Country Ag doesn't know how to spell institutions like graduates of institutions of higher learning do.
  15. If you were in college it would make you the big man on campus, for sure.
  16. I can't tell you what it is, but both of my shoulders now hurt after reading that. I hope it's not too bad. You're a bloody wanker is what it means. ETA - I hope it's not serious and clears up on it's own.
  17. So which aggy grad works at UT and would have access to athletes' grades? I couldn't get my daughter's grades from UT and this asshat has seen Murphy's? I get that he could have just made that up, but it reads to me like he realized that he had posted something that he shouldn't have and was trying to walk it back. If I had the skills I would track down He Gotta Touchdown's identity and see if he violated any laws or terms of employment there. And lol that a 4.0 at UT wouldn't get him into Duke. He's a deluded moron. Reminds me of a woman who told me that her son was accepted at Stanford's and MIT's engineering programs, but couldn't get into aggy so he was starting at Blinn. (Unbelievable, I know, but absolutely what she said.) They have no sense of their academic place in relation to any other schools, nor the academic places of other schools generally.
  18. My grandfather on my mom's side was gassed badly in WW I. By the late thirties/early forties the heart and lung complications eventually kept him from working. To survive my grandmother kept a milk cow and raised a calf every year and had a year-round garden. She would also kill a wild hog or two in the winter for meat. To get money for clothes and food that they couldn't raise, my 8 year-old mom and her 4 year-old brother ran a trap line in the Big Thicket near Evadale. They checked it daily, skinning out the nutria and such that they caught. She said that a bobcat or coyote were occasional jackpots, as those pelts brought more money. The real jackpot was a river otter they once caught. She had a .22 that she would shoot rabits and squirrels with, as well as dispatching trapped animals that were still alive, and that was all she had to defend them if a critter came after them. Their clothes were largely made of flour sacks. My dad's family wasn't quite as poor, but they hurt some, too. My dad lost an eye because they couldn't afford a doctor to remove some metal from his eye and it got infected. He told us that the worst punishment he ever got was for losing their sugar ration book at the beginning of a month in 1943. My mom made sure that my brothers and I were able to fish, forage, garden, cook, can, clean, sew, and take care of ourselves. She and my dad also made sure that, while we were never rolling in money, we never knew abject poverty.
  19. Capital offense, if you ask me.
  20. Working night shift at my first wastewater gig, I could go up on the roof and do some stargazing during my meal break. A coworker from the day shift saw my star atlas at shift change and asked if I had sent them my address to the publisher of the atlas. I asked why I would do that and he said so that they can let you know which stars fell after a meteor shower. Rendered me entirely speechless for a minute. There were other examples of his ignorance and stupidity, such as when he took a gun to go talk to his soon to be ex-wife in violation of a restraining order, then telling the responding cop that he took the gun to shoot her if she didn't agree to reconcile. I honestly don't know how he remembered to breathe.
  21. I worked hanging overhead garage doors the summer before my senior year in high school. Mostly not too bad, but I was the one who was sent up in the attic of new homes to pull the wire for motorized door openers. Unfinished attics in July and August in Texas can get to 160° F, and I came close to heat exhaustion more than once. We once got an order for a couple dozen doors, and I got to be the one in the workshop moving the panels around by hand, drilling and cutting for hardware, and bolting on said hardware. That shed was damn hot, too. Reading water meters in January is only marginally more comfortable that reading them in July and August. Hot, cold, wet, you have to get them read on time. You learn how to handle people and dogs real fast. I had to change out a meter for a pharmacy once. The meter was about 80 years old and not reading correctly, so the pharmacy was being way under billed. I let the lady at the counter know that I was turning off the water to change the meter and that the water would be off for 5 to 15 minutes. As I reached to turn off the water the owner of the pharmacy comes screaming out of the door pointing a pistol at me, promising to shoot the shit out of me if I touched that meter. I backed off and called it in. Later that afternoon I was there with the Assistant Chief of Police and an officer who stood overwatch while I changed the meter. That was a pretty fucked up day.
  22. And it's always a 10mm socket. Or if you're a real old, 1/2" socket. When I buy a socket set, for me or others, I always get one each extra 10mm and 1/2" sockets. They still disappear, but it takes twice as long to get to the point of having none.
  23. Today is graduation for aggy. This weekend Colley Station will be busier than when Alabama plays them at Kyle tacklebox. Every restaurant will be overcrowded. If rooms were booked, they were booked months ago, and at sky high prices. It's difficult to get around town, and doubly so around campus. This isn't the weekend I'd pick to get a big group of recruits on campus.
  24. Yep, sure did. It looks like a clean, well run plant from the outside. I wish that I'd had time for a tour.
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